Confront Your Fears

There is only one person keeping you trapped in a life, which you do not enjoy. That person is no one other than you. Get out of your own way and everything will immediately begin to change for the better. You are not born with courage or the drive to succeed, but at the same time, neither are you born with fear or doubt about your potential. I believe that your fear of success or failure for that matter is a direct result of all the pressures placed on you by society.

Of course some fears are valid, like the justifiable fear of walking alone down a dark alley. Eliminating your need to fear this justifiably dangerous situation is simple. Be aware of the potential danger and then take steps to ensure that you avoid this situation altogether. Once you have eliminated the potential risk, there is no longer a need to fear it in any way. Irrational fears about failure or even success are exactly the same. Explore the fear; create awareness about the potential risk. Take steps to mitigate or eliminate the risk and you no longer have any need to hold onto the fear any longer.

Fear Destroys - If you Allow

Fear about any facet of your life, is very limiting and will either paralyse you into inactivity or hold you away from performing at your best. Both are not desirable states, if you want to achieve success. Fears, even irrational ones, which have no grounding in fact at all, can and will destroy your ambitions, fortunes and even your relationships. If left unchecked, they will eventually destroy your future success completely. Fear is an unseen enemy to your future success and if you are not vigilant, it will creep into your life and steal your dreams.

Action Idea: Confront your fears. Explore them, until you uncover the reason you have them and then find ways to mitigate and eventually eliminate them from your life completely. If your fears are grounded in fact i.e. you are in imminent danger, because someone is out to steal from you or do you harm, then you need to use the fear to protect you. In most cases though, your fear is not grounded in fact at all. You feel fear, because you are tugged out of your comfort zone, you are moving into unchartered territory or you are taking a calculated risk etc. Under these circumstances you need to find ways to mitigate and even eliminate the fear from your life completely, otherwise it will negatively affect your future.

What else is in your way?

Once you have confronted your fears and found creative ways of eliminating them and the negative effect they have on your life, you need to look to eliminate a few other enemies, which emanate from within too.

Indecision - If you are to begin taking inspired action daily, to achieve the success you desire. You must become decisive and commit to make the tough choices to firstly get off your butt and start and secondly to continue to take daily action until you succeed. Indecision, if left unchecked, will steal opportunity from you before you even start.

Lack of Belief or Doubt - I have emphasised on numerous occasions that all the super achievers, I have studied, have all had an incredible belief in themselves and their ability to achieve their vision for the future. Of course you should explore opportunities and be a little sceptical. You can never just throw yourself into something, without thoroughly doing your homework to ensure that it is indeed what you need. The secret to success though, is to explore, discover whether the opportunity is what you want. Then you must pull the trigger and begin taking action. Once you pull the trigger, you must believe 100 % in yourself and your abilities. Belief fills your life with success and doubt on the other hand, will over time, rob you of everything.

Indifference - Too many people have a lacklustre approach to their lives and the opportunities, which come their way. Their indifferent attitude stops them in their tracks and they never pull themselves out of their comfort zone. Indifference will cause you to drift through life and as you know you can only drift in one direction - downhill.

Risk Averse - Of course you cannot gamble with your future and take irresponsible risks. You can also not afford to be over cautious to the point, where you take the timid approach to life. Timid people don't step outside of their self-imposed comfort zones and therefore they remain trapped in average.

Unnecessary worry - Of course you need to always be aware of what is going on in your world. You need to review and measure your progress daily, to ensure the actions you are taking are delivering the desired results. What you must not do, is get bogged down and trapped in a place where you become paralysed by unnecessary worry. Worry will push into a place of overwhelm and inactivity, a place where average people hang out all the time.

I challenge you to have the courage to confront your fears and work to eliminate any of the other things, which are holding you away from the inspired, fulfilling life you know that you deserve. The moment you start to do this, I know that numerous, new opportunities will emerge and you will start to achieve all your goals and dreams. When you have the courage to take inspired action daily, you will gradually attract the success you really want and will become the person you need and want to be.

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Can Introverts Be Confident?

I hear this question a lot. And it's not hard to figure out why. So, CAN introverts be confident, then?

Let's have a look. But for the purpose, its important to define 'introvert'.

The Cambridge Dictionary* defines an introvert as "someone who is shy, quiet, and unable to make friends easily". However, I consider this definition not only to be lacking in detail, but also to be incorrect. I find this much more in-depth description from New World Encyclopedia** far more exhaustive:

"The introvert is introspective and finds meaning within, preferring their internal world of thoughts, feelings, fantasies, and dreams. [... ] Thus, one who is introverted is more likely to spend time alone or in contemplation, as these activities are rewarding. They may avoid social situations entirely, not because they are shy or misanthropic, but because they choose to. Introverts often enjoy long, one-on-one conversations about feelings or ideas, and may give excellent public presentations to large audiences. However, they find solitude, alone with their thoughts, nourishing and restorative."

That one hits the home run. Not only because it's more detailed, but because it makes the important distinction between introversion and shyness.

As you may have gathered, shyness is strongly associated with low confidence and self-esteem. And so, this is what makes so many people confused.

So in other words, while shy people tend to be introverted, not all introverted people are shy. And in yet other words, just because you're introverted doesn't mean you're non-confident.

On the contrary, some of the world's greatest achievers were introverts. And I don't just mean faceless, corporate suits hiding behind huge desks in tall glass buildings. We're talking Barack Obama, Albert Einstein, Lady Gaga, Mark Zuckerberg, Bob Dylan, Marilyn Monroe, Abraham Lincoln, Beyoncé Knowles, Emma Watson, Christina Aguilera, Steven Spielberg, Warren Buffett, J.K. Rowling, Michael Jordan, Harrison Ford, and Marlon Brando here.

The reason so many people ask this question, it would seem, is that in our highly media-oriented culture, introvert behavior and the daily doings of introverts isn't something we're exposed to at all.

Think about it. Introverts keep to themselves most of the time. So, do the introverts' sitting around and minding their own business get sought out by the media? Does it make for great news and entertainment?

NO, duh. What does make for great news and entertainment are the outward directed actions and creations of, well, extroverts, mostly.

And really, can you even blame any media outlets for not doing a reality-style docu-soap about 10 introverts in a house not talking to each other? I mean, I wouldn't want to watch myself silently working at my laptop and occasionally eating for 7-8 hours every day.

And yes, I just used myself as an example. Because I'm largely introvert. And yes, I still mostly choose to spend time alone. But I've learned to love speaking and performing in front of crowds, and mingle with people at events. Hell, I've even learned to accept the social Top Ramen that is small-talk.

So, straight from the horse's mouth:

It's not the introversion itself that keeps anyone from doing anything. It's simply the lack of confidence. They're two different things.

Just because introverts keep to themselves doesn't mean they can't do any of the things that extroverts do. On the contrary, if you're an introvert, you can be one of the world's richest business people.

You could be the world's most talented and successful basketball player. Founder of the world's biggest social media. One of the world's most popular and biggest-selling authors, musicians and movie directors. And did anyone say president of the United States?

The proper question, then, is not can introverts be confident?. Rather, it's can introverts be confident in a culture that values extrovert behavior?.

And fortunately, the answer is a solid yes.

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