How To NEVER Be Worried Again - Alan Watts | A life-changing speech

Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg: Powerful Women Are Stopped By Internal Barriers

I just finished reading Sheryl Sandberg's new book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead. It was so fascinating I could hardly put it down. Sandberg pulls back the curtain on life at the top for women in corporate America. And while she is rigorous about appreciating the many gains women have made, she is frank about data that shows how under-represented women are at the top of the corporate ladder.

Rather than blame, Sandberg takes an unflinching look at the ways that women continue to sabotage their own success by making choices based on their own fears and false beliefs. She shares the persistent feelings of self-doubt that she encountered in college and how she has continued to face down these doubts as she has seen them surface. She shares fascinating stories of other women executives who have faced doubt and a lack of self-confidence in the course of building their careers.

She offers a very honest look at the choices she made when her first child was born and she was an executive at Google. While she intended to take maternity leave when her son was born, her fears of losing influence caused her to work from home during her entire leave. By the time her second child was born, she was more secure and confident, and was able to take a full maternity leave without checking in with her office at all, and no negative consequences to her position.

While there a consistent emphasis on research studies and data to back up every assertion in the book, what I found most fascinating is Sandberg's willingness to share stories of women executives, her own as well as others, that demonstrate how often a women's main barrier to corporate success is her own belief system.

Our culture, beginning in our earliest childhood experiences, moulds women for care-taking roles and invisibility. Often successful women have become adept at "making it in a man's world" by developing masculine energy: the energy of competition, analysis, linear thinking, goal attainment, and left-brained perception of circumstances. The price paid is often a lack of development of feminine energies: creative, intuitive, collaborative and relational energies. This leads eventually to burn out and a lack of fulfillment. The "is that all there is" experience becomes pervasive.

I believe we are facing challenges in the world that reflect this imbalance. Technology has given us every advantage in terms of business development, but at the price of polluted air, fouled water, the breakdown of our global financial systems, burned out adults, troubled children, and broken homes.

As a culture we need to move more into balance now. I believe that women leaders have a key role to play in this transition. By honouring their own needs for achievement in the workplace and finding ways to bring the strength and creativity of their feminine energies into contemporary problem-solving, they will forge new pathways to greatness for themselves and the corporations for which they work.

With the help and support of their husbands (who have accessed their own feminine energies) they will raise children who have seen both masculine and feminine energies modelled in their mother and their father. These children will grow up to create a more balanced, harmonious world.

As new more balanced business structures evolve to meet the needs of the marketplace, culture itself will evolve. While this will surely take many generations, we as women can start right here, right now, to see the deeper truth of who we are and access our feminine energies. As we do so we break through the barriers of false beliefs that act as a glass ceiling to our ability to achieve our highest potential.

One decision at a time we can restore balance to our lives and take a stand for greater harmony in our world. It is time for us to own the power that comes from the realization of our true being and allow that power to inform our choices. I stand with Ms. Sandberg in calling on women to embrace their heart's desires, go for their dreams, and consistently Lean In.

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Are You a Chronic Worrier?

There are many things about the brain and the mind that we still don't know, or at least that we don't know for certain.

One question is "Why are some people chronic worriers?" Is there something in their genes-a "worry gene," perhaps-that runs in the family? Or is it something else?

The nightmare for them is this: What if a cure for chronic worry can never be found?

We hope that one day we'll come up with the real source of the "worrier state."

Science believes that when people live with high levels of anxiety (i.e., those who are chronic worriers), constantly look for and expect the worst (including danger), and live in constant fear of everything, the result is a life that isn't so easy.

Everyone knows that being a worrier isn't good for many reasons. Nobody wants to be a worrier, and those who are worriers often attempt to switch to a "non-worrier" state and, unfortunately, are unsuccessful.

Chronic worriers are prone to many illnesses, live under constant stress, are unable to concentrate properly, and have impulsive tendencies and problems with memory. More importantly, they waste their brainpower with unnecessary worrying.

Obviously, life comes with no guarantees: There are bad moments every now and then. For a chronic worrier, however, life is all about bad moments. They believe (wrongly) that if they expect the worst, they'll never be disappointed.

This thought process is definitely the greatest barrier to living a good life and robs the worrier's life of meaning, peace, and joy.

What can the worrier do to rid themselves of chronic worry?

They can change the way they think.

It's easy to say and hard to do. However, if you're a worrier, what other choice do you have? For a start, you can follow these suggestions:

• Ask for professional help if needed.

• Pay close attention to your diet. What you eat influences your mood and brain function, more so than you may believe.

• Exercise regularly. Exercise helps the brain to function well and assists in combatting those "moody days" that tend to arise frequently in a worrier's life.

• Learn and use relaxation response exercise. It's the perfect way to calm a busy mind. (I personally took a course on this technique and found that it works very well.)

• Try an 8-week course on mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) or mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT). These types of classes are very helpful.

• Incorporate meditation into your routine. Do a bit of research and choose the type of meditation that works best for you.

• Consider hypnosis. Some people find it a helpful strategy for coping with a "worrier mind."

• Think about trying the emotional freedom technique (EFT). Many have found it to be a good way to change a worrisome state of mind.

• Acknowledge the importance of having good social support from your spouse, other family members, friends, and colleagues.

Finally, learn from other sources what else you can do to change your unhealthy way of thinking, and stay positive. Change from a chronic worrier into a positive-thinking warrior!

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