Fear of Failure: Don't Let It Rob You of Your Life

What dream would you take on if you knew you couldn't fail? This is a very important question because it provides a clue as to what you may be giving up if you allow fear of failure to determine your choices in life. Do you know what fear really is?

F: False

E: Evidence

A: Appearing

R: Real

Fear is false evidence appearing real. Let me give you a real life example. One of my clients, I will call her Sandy, wanted to ask for a raise at work. "I can't do it," she told me during our coaching session. "I know the boss won't even consider it."

I asked Sandy a couple questions. "Didn't you bring in a new account worth over $100,000 in business this year?" (Sandy nodded her head.) Didn't you win the manager of the year award this year?" (Sandy again nodded her head.) Didn't you submit a process improvement suggestion that netted the company $50,000 in overhead reduction? (Sandy nodded a third time.) So why do you think your boss won't consider a raise?

Sandy said "Well, no one else has gotten a raise lately. And the company has been having budget cuts this quarter, too."

I said "Has anyone else accomplished what you have this year?"

Sandy said "Well, when you put it that way, no."

So in this example the false evidence appearing real for Sandy was that because no one else was getting a raise and the company was experiencing budget cuts, that automatically meant to Sandy that she would not get a raise either, despite the fact that she had an outstanding year. What company in its right mind would risk losing her by not considering a raise? And if a financial increase was not an option, what benefits might they offer a high performer to stay with the company?

What false evidence appearing real is holding you back from going for your dreams?

And what about this word "failure." Webster's Dictionary defines failure as "a lack of success." What choice do you suppose contributes most to a lack of success? It seems clear that an unwillingness to try, to attempt a thing, contributes most to a lack of success.

There is no chance of success where no action is taken. I work with clients on this issue all the time. Most of what people try to call failure is actually a very clear message about how to improve performance. When the called for changes have been made the chances of success increase dramatically.

What is it that your heart is calling you to do? to strive for? to take on? Go ahead, ask yourself this vital question. Where is your passion? What are you longing for? Let yourself know.

So many people shut their hearts down long ago and refuse to revisit that vital organ. Is it any wonder that heart disease and heart attacks are so prevalent? The heart will not be denied. It will be heard. It will be listened to. It will get your attention no matter what it takes.

Why is that? Because your heart's desires are what you came here for. Your heart's desires are placed in your heart by your Creator to give you a direction, a calling. A way to find your place in the world. Ignore them at your peril.

Don't allow false evidence appearing real to rob you of the calling of your heart. Don't allow a limited definition of failure to prevent you from taking on a goal or a dream or a vision which is meant to be the source of delight and joy, vitality and passion your life. Have faith in your dreams to guide your choices and find your way into the life of joy, vitality and success. Do you really have anything better to do?

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