This Is Hopeless Unless You Realize Your Potential

Life is hard, isn't it? It just seems like there is always something to challenge you, a setback, a disappointment, a frustration. Maybe you are having a mid-life crisis, or feeling burnout at work. It is so easy to get discouraged. It is so tempting to give up, to settle into a state of hopelessness, helplessness, or frustration.

Many people do give up. They live lives, as Thoreau said, of "quiet desperation." They spend their days at a boring job that doesn't pay enough, come home, have a beer or a glass wine, watch television until it is time for bed, and then get up the next day and do it all again. This is hopeless.

But if you were willing to settle for that, I doubt you would be reading this article. You are feeling called to something more. You are sensing there is more to you yet to be born. You are open to making some new choices, some new decisions, taking a few risks.

Why is that? Why would you want to risk? What is it that is calling to you? Maybe it is a dream, or a vision, or a desire that has been born in your heart to be more than who you are today.

The truth is there is only one you. In this world of seven billion people there is no one else quite like you, no one else with your particular gifts, no one else with your particular way of seeing and experiencing the world. Did you ever think about that?

If you should die without realizing your full potential there will never be another chance for the world to receive the gifts that you came here to give. No one else that can take your place. This is a huge responsibility for you to bear on your tiny shoulders, but there it is. There is only one you.

So what can you do to realize your full potential? Here are three suggestions:

1. Listen to the still small voice inside. Many people are too busy in "doing-ness"... to do lists, goals, appointments, volunteer activities, things that keep you going non-stop. It is easy to forget to take time to listen to the inner voice, that inner guidance, those little suggestions that pop into your mind from who-knows-where. But in listening, you may hear the voice of your destiny calling to you.

2. Pay attention to your heart-felt desires, to what you feel passion for. I believe your heart-felt desires are meant to guide you. They are there for a reason. They are a little bit like the yellow brick road was for Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. The yellow brick road took her for a real adventure: excitement, jeopardy, peril, and ultimately success! And along the way, she become wiser, more heart-centered, and courageous!

3. Take a risk. When you feel hopeless, or feel like a failure in life, it is because you are telling yourself that the past equals the future. But that is only true when you make the same choice tomorrow that you made today. Take a risk, make a new choice, and watch what happens! Your potential is right there, waiting for you to claim it.

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Fear of Failure: Don't Let It Rob You of Your Life

What dream would you take on if you knew you couldn't fail? This is a very important question because it provides a clue as to what you may be giving up if you allow fear of failure to determine your choices in life. Do you know what fear really is?

F: False

E: Evidence

A: Appearing

R: Real

Fear is false evidence appearing real. Let me give you a real life example. One of my clients, I will call her Sandy, wanted to ask for a raise at work. "I can't do it," she told me during our coaching session. "I know the boss won't even consider it."

I asked Sandy a couple questions. "Didn't you bring in a new account worth over $100,000 in business this year?" (Sandy nodded her head.) Didn't you win the manager of the year award this year?" (Sandy again nodded her head.) Didn't you submit a process improvement suggestion that netted the company $50,000 in overhead reduction? (Sandy nodded a third time.) So why do you think your boss won't consider a raise?

Sandy said "Well, no one else has gotten a raise lately. And the company has been having budget cuts this quarter, too."

I said "Has anyone else accomplished what you have this year?"

Sandy said "Well, when you put it that way, no."

So in this example the false evidence appearing real for Sandy was that because no one else was getting a raise and the company was experiencing budget cuts, that automatically meant to Sandy that she would not get a raise either, despite the fact that she had an outstanding year. What company in its right mind would risk losing her by not considering a raise? And if a financial increase was not an option, what benefits might they offer a high performer to stay with the company?

What false evidence appearing real is holding you back from going for your dreams?

And what about this word "failure." Webster's Dictionary defines failure as "a lack of success." What choice do you suppose contributes most to a lack of success? It seems clear that an unwillingness to try, to attempt a thing, contributes most to a lack of success.

There is no chance of success where no action is taken. I work with clients on this issue all the time. Most of what people try to call failure is actually a very clear message about how to improve performance. When the called for changes have been made the chances of success increase dramatically.

What is it that your heart is calling you to do? to strive for? to take on? Go ahead, ask yourself this vital question. Where is your passion? What are you longing for? Let yourself know.

So many people shut their hearts down long ago and refuse to revisit that vital organ. Is it any wonder that heart disease and heart attacks are so prevalent? The heart will not be denied. It will be heard. It will be listened to. It will get your attention no matter what it takes.

Why is that? Because your heart's desires are what you came here for. Your heart's desires are placed in your heart by your Creator to give you a direction, a calling. A way to find your place in the world. Ignore them at your peril.

Don't allow false evidence appearing real to rob you of the calling of your heart. Don't allow a limited definition of failure to prevent you from taking on a goal or a dream or a vision which is meant to be the source of delight and joy, vitality and passion your life. Have faith in your dreams to guide your choices and find your way into the life of joy, vitality and success. Do you really have anything better to do?

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How Robert Downey Jr Turned His Life Around, Rebuilt Himself, & Skyrocketed To Success

He was in a tail-spin.

His life burning to the ground... trapped in drug addiction... fired from the show Ally McBeal... and even sent to prison. No one dared to hire him. You'd never guess it today. But years ago, that was actor Robert Downey Jr.

Yet - he turned his life around... rebuilt himself... and skyrocketed to become Iron Man.

How?

Here are four secrets that turbo-charged his comeback. Even if you don't have dreams of being a dynamic actor (or actress)... even if you're facing a different "enemy"... even if you don't even like superhero movies... these four lessons (when implemented) can help you rise back up, rebuild yourself and resurrect yourself to a new level.

Iron Man's 4 Secrets to Rising From Rock-Bottom

1. Laser-Beam Focus On Taking The Next Step

Just like Tony Stark slaving away in a cave to build the original Iron Man suit. Downey's climb out of the darkness took seven years. He rebuilt his credibility, his commitment and his self-confidence one day at a time. One movie at a time. One job at a time.

He says:

I found my way out of the woods

by a subtler and subtler trail of bread crumbs

-Robert Downey Jr.

Not Hulk-like leaps forward. Small relentless steps forward.

(Remember progress is progress)

2. You Can Always Build Your Self-Discipline Muscles

At first, Downey doubted his ability to leave a life of drugs. He knew it was wrecking everything. But kept going back. With the help of Wing Chun (Chinese martial art) he built up his concentration... laser-like focus... and inner calm. This finally busted the vice-grip that drugs had over him.

3. Knowing It's Okay To Ask For Help

When Downey had demonstrated his commitment to staying sober, producers still had ice cold feet. They swore he'd bail out. But Mel Gibson (who had his own demons) who worked with him on a previous film - jumped to the rescue. He believed in Downey so much that he put up collateral to reassure producers.

This gave Downey his shot to star in The Singing Detective... showing audiences and Hollywood that he was heaven-bent on taking his life back. But if Downey was too proud to accept Gibson's help, this never would have happened.

4. Total Belief That Your Skills Will Eclipse Your Past Mistakes

At first, Marvel Comics didn't want anything to do with him. Jon Favreau, director of Iron Man, fought tooth and nail to persuade the studio to hire him. He saw Downey's electricity. He saw his dynamite acting skills overshadowed his dark past.

Here was this force of nature,

who I think was living with this frustration

that he wasn't able to really show what he was great at

-Jon Favreau

That greatness lies within each and every one of us.

We are all forces of nature in our own way.

Find what it is for you.

And start building... rebuilding... and creating something (or becoming someone) that you're proud of.

Because the past does not have to equal the future.

P.S. Besides Wing Chun, there are other powerhouse techniques for quickly tapping more inner strength, inner peace, self-discipline and bringing gusto and confidence when you wake up each morning. One way is an ancient Asian technique that gives you the strength to rapidly rebound from stressful situations. Plus, studies find it develops the "happy region" (left frontal lobe) of the brain.

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4 Steps to Becoming Free and Happy

Whenever someone tells you that your way is blocked by discouragement or confusion, check over these 4 Steps. It won't be long before you will find the barrier at your back and find yourself on the open highway once more.

1. A sincere desire for inner change

You must really want to be different. Your first desire should be for the truth itself, not for ideas that please you by backing up what you already believe. The earnest man dares to sail uncharted seas. When he finally reaches port, he finds that this new world, though strange at first, is what he really sought all along. You can change the thing that is wrong in your life. You just need to be prepared and ready to do it. Whenever you develop the desire, you can take away from your life what is defeating it. The capacity for reformation and change lies within.

2. Contact with workable principles

This means we must be in contact with some sort of genuine help. This can be a person who has already set himself at liberty, it can be a book, or it can be a matured way of thinking. You must be aware of counterfeit; you must not accept something as true merely because it appears so to you. You must make every offered idea prove itself to be a workable principle. You must personally verify everything. The road to happiness lies in simple principles: do what interests you and that you can do well, and put your whole soul into it every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have.

3. Self honesty

Genuine courage consistent in being honest with yourself. What makes men free is for the most part is the truth which men prefer not to hear. The really heroic person is one who is willing to be wrong for the present in order to be right later on. But honesty does not mean that you change your viewpoints really for the sake of change; it means you explore your viewpoints in order to separate truth from falsity. Then truth dissolves falsity. There is nothing of more practical use than self honesty.

4. Persistence

You may be sincere, and you may have found a source of genuine help. And you may also have a full supply of self honesty. By adding one more thing, then you have all you need for swift strides forward; it is an old-fashioned and admirable quality called persistence. You must keep going. As the New Testament phrases it, he must not fall by the wayside. Persistence pays. Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure.

To be happy, rather than say "if only" substitute instead the words "next time". Success consists of getting up just one more time after you fall.

Entrepreneurs average 3.8 failures before realizing a final success. What sets the successful apart is amazing persistence. There are a lot of people out there who have good and marketable ideas, but pure entrepreneurial types almost never accept defeat.

The line between failure and success is so fine that we are often on the line and do not know it. How many a man had thrown up his hands when a little more effort, a little more patience, would have achieved success. A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed like a hopeless failure may turn into glorious success

Becoming free and happy is what finding your True Self is all about. It is based upon an awareness that there is a better way to live and then eliminating all obstacles to realizing it. Visualize your destiny and make it a reality.

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Separating Failure From Success

What makes someone successful?

Many things help, there's no question. Seeing what other people don't. Being lucky. Having the courage to try things even when they're risky. Money. Connections. Specialised training and all the right certifications.

If you have all of these, you'll probably succeed. Then again, you might not. And if you have none of them? Well, you might just succeed anyway.

How do people do it? How does one person rise above the crowd? Is it really a matter of chance or some mysterious, undefinable X-factor?

Einstein didn't think so. He had a very clear idea on what allowed him to crack some of the greatest physics puzzles in history. And it certainly wasn't his intelligence.

It's resilience - the ability to stick with a problem. If you keep trying after everyone else gives up, you'll find the solution eventually. And when you do, people will call you a genius.

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." - Albert Einstein

I'm not saying anything new here. You already know the value of endurance. The athlete who can keep pushing a second longer will win the gold. A businessperson who can tolerate uncertainty a day longer will achieve miracles.

It's only failure when you quit. Everything else is a lesson.

How do you improve your resilience? You keep your body healthy, for a start. Light exercise and eating the right foods will fuel you and stave off illness. But your body is only half the picture. Resilience is as much a mental game.

Meditation is a great way to strengthen your mind. Metta meditation, also known as loving-kindness meditation, is so effective that just ten minutes a day can slash your stress levels. This is why everyone from soldiers to students to healthcare professionals turn to meditation. Many people from these high stress groups swear by it to keep themselves functioning.

For people who struggle with meditation, self-hypnosis is another option. It achieves a similar mental state to meditation, only some people find it easier and more effective. I recommend it - it's done wonders for my health. A paper published in Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice showed that it reduces stress hormones in the body in just a few weeks.

How do athletes stay focused, even under pressure? Sports psychologists like to encourage visualisations to improve performance, stop stress and even heal from injury.

Even just simple things, like staying optimistic and socialising improve everything from your mood to your immune system and healing rate. And they decrease your risk of getting sick or injured in the first place.

Want to learn how to use these techniques? The March edition of Awakened Thought focuses on resilience. This is just a taste of the techniques you can start today that will improve your resilience. You'll be happier and healthier if you do.

As a side effect, you'll succeed the way Einstein did - by sticking with his problems longer.

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3 Hard But Useful Attributes to Help You Succeed

Sometimes we have to do hard things to become great. If we do easy things, our lives become hard in the future. If we do hard things our lives become easy in the future. Doesn't this remind you of the John F Kennedy quote about going to the moon in 1962, " We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things (accomplishments and aspirations), not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that challenge is one that we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win". 

To progress in life we have to constantly do things that we perceive as hard. I would like to share with you three hard things for you to do that I wish you commit to in order for you to improve your level of effectiveness and productivity.

These three things will help you as you work towards reaching your goals - whatever your goals are, whether you have career goals, business goals or a personal goal to exercise or become healthier.

(I) Getting up early at 5am

A study done by Texas University in 2008 showed that students who identified themselves as morning people achieved better grades than those who were the "night owls". Further research has shown that early risers are more productive, are better planners and better goal achievers. 

Getting up early has immense advantages. Imagine being able to exercise early consistently every day and meet your fitness goals, meet all your deadlines at work and be able to take on a new hobby. This is what you can be able to achieve if you make a firm resolution to identify yourself as an early riser and get up early at 5am.

(II) Working long hours

Gone are the 60s where there were no mobile phones, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the internet. We are more distracted these days than we ever were. It is easy to lose focus because our focus has shifted due to the ever changing technologically advanced world.

Working long hours can help you shift your focus from distractions and turn your dreams to reality. How many people dream of writing a book, how many dream of achieving fitness and look like health magazine models, how many people do you know that would like to start a serious business or obtain a qualification? All of these things require focused work that will take long hours.

Unfortunately few people these days have the ability to switch off from the world and do four to six hours of focused work. Harness your ability to grind for long hours and possess a rare attribute that most people lack in today's world. This will set you apart and enable you to achieve all your goals.

(III) Thinking in the long term

Live in the present but think in the future. Too many of us get caught to pleasures of the moment and forget the future that we want to create. Human beings are the most intellectually capable of all species in the world but remain limited by the inability to think beyond the present.

I encourage you to develop a 5 year plan for your ideal self in all key areas of your life i.e. career, spirituality, health, finances and relationships. Take a moment every day to remind yourself of what you want to achieve in the long term. This will help you not only live in the present but psychologically and subconsciously prepare yourself for the future you want to create.

Living this way will help you create a meaningful life and not get caught in day to day activities that do not help you create the change that you want to see in your life. If you do this you will thank yourself many years later and you won't have to look back in regret and wonder what you did with your life.

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Okay, so you messed up. Now what?

Okay. So you did something wrong. Maybe you made a social blunder; maybe you carried out some task and failed. In short: You messed up.

For people with low confidence, failure can be downright devastating.

I know. Because I used to be ashamed of things I did or said. All the time.

And I’m not talking about calmly realizing one’s wrongdoing and immediately learning from it. I’m talking an involuntary panic-anxiety-attack-like-muscle-spasms-complete-with-grinding-teeth-and-making-noises sorta sensation.

With an inner voice going like: "Screw you! You messed up, and you're useless! You're unable to do anything right, and you should be locked away! You messed up, and that's all you're ever gonna do!"

Every day, several times.

And it doesn’t even have to be something big. It could be a misused word, a social faux pas… anything.

When non-fident people react drastically to making any kind of mistake, it’s because non-fidence is often accompanied by low self-esteem, perfectionism, and insecurity.

When we have low self-esteem, we tend to judge ourselves more vigorously than we would our peers. If we don’t like ourselves, we’re hard on ourselves. Simple as that.

But moreover, if we don’t allow for ourselves to make mistakes, we develop perfectionism. Which, in turn, makes it seem so much worse to us when we do make a mistake. — Or even do something in a manner less than "perfect". (Which, as I’ve written about before, is a BS notion.)

And then there’s the insecurity, which doesn’t allow for much space for mistakes, nor for even trying. This is governed by the amygdala — the reptilian part of our brain — most commonly known for our "fight or flight" mechanism.

See, amongst our primitive ancestors, social identity was way more important than today. Dangers were all around. If you messed up something, it could get you expelled from your tribe and thrown out into the wilderness on your own.

All of this perfectly illustrates the dangerous downward spiral of non-fidence. If we have low regard for ourselves we make less space for ourselves to make mistakes. This, in turn, causes making mistakes to be even more likely, which, then, will only lead to much more self-loathing and shame.

Because we DO make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. We know this perfectly well, yet tend to act like we’re the only flawed person alive.

But here’s the kicker:
Confident people make WAY many more mistakes than less confident people.

The more confident you are, the less regard you give to other people’s opinion about you. The higher you think of yourself, the less you worry about making mistakes. You know perfectly well that your rights outnumber your wrongs. You know perfectly well that you’re able to learn from your mistakes.

Indeed, if you don’t make mistakes, you can never learn. And if you don’t learn, you don’t grow.

In other words:
For every time you messed up something in life, you had the opportunity to learn, grow, and prevent yourself from making the same mistake again.

So get out there and mess up. Badly. Learn, improve, repeat. And as you learn and grow, watch as your confidence grows with you.

ACTION ITEM:

The next time you're embarrassed about something, use the following method:

- Stop what you're doing.
- Breathe. Ten long, deep breaths.
- Think. Realize that whatever negative response on your part are merely thoughts, and that they're not necessarily true, constructive or favourable.
- Choose how you want to feel about what happened. Do you genuinely want to be ashamed? Or would you rather accept, learn, and grow?

The choice is yours.
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