When people tell me they struggle with motivation, what I hear is that they don’t actually know what’s pushing them forward. After all, once you find your why, it’s easy to stay grounded, focused, and ready. If you’re still struggling with how you’re going to achieve your dreams, let me explain today why taking a step back and examining why you want to achieve them is the best thing you can do.
Find Your Why, and the How Will Be Easy
I have a friend who struggles with weight. Her intention to lose the weight is honest and sincere. She goes to the gym regularly, participates in multiple softball leagues, and does constant reading on diet trends, trying anything that might work. However, eventually the diet falls by the wayside even if the activities don’t, hence her progress fluctuates.
When I asked what the motivation was for wanting to lose the weight it was, “I’m disgusted with myself.”
While pain can sometimes be an effective motivator, how about something a little more…self-supportive? I don’t know… like looking forward to the day you go to the beach and show off? That why sounds a little more compelling and positively motivating, doesn’t it?
Your Why Is Your Motivation
Everyone’s motivation is going to be different, no matter the goal, but whatever that why is, it better be powerful. It’s got to be emotional. Hey, sometimes it might even be reacting in a moment of total freak-out. Whatever that trigger is, make it mean something to you! If you have a good enough reason, you’ll figure out a way how, won’t you?
I have another friend who quit smoking almost a year ago now, cold turkey. He had smoked for over 10 years. People, including me, were surprised and proud, and we all wondered how he did it. He didn’t use a patch or gum. There were no electric fake cigarettes. He said it was easy. Why? He looked in the mirror one day and saw a small lump on his neck, in a lymph area.
That lump prompted him to flash forward to imaginary moments of telling his friends and family that he had cancer. He thought about what it would be like to put them through watching him disintegrate, maybe suffer. He thought about the pain, guilt, and helplessness of those who wouldn’t have the strength to deal with all of that.
That small lump turned out to be only a garden-variety in-grown hair, but it was enough. He broke his last cigarettes in half and that was that. He had found his why.
When you have a big enough reason, your how will come easily. Let your why explain your clear and powerful reasons. That’s what’s going to allow you to be willing to do whatever it takes.
Remember, your why has to be stronger than those non-supportive beliefs you’ve been working on. One of these harmful beliefs I often hear is, “Rich people are greedy.”
Well great! You don’t wanna be broke, but “rich people suck,” and your freaking rent’s due. Fortunately, with a strong enough why, you can shake yourself out of these incorrect and harmful mindsets. A strong why will give you a strong purpose for pursuing money or whatever else really matters to you.
What was one of the biggest challenges or obstacles that you faced in your life, and how did you find your why in that situation? Was it life or death? Absolute need for safety or survival? Would a less desirable outcome have negatively impacted someone you care about? It’ll be interesting to see how many people were motivated to act when someone else would be affected by actions or non-actions.
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