There is no other place more frustrating than an intimate relationship where you are always the one sacrificing your feelings, your emotions, your wants, your needs, your desires in order to be for the other person. You keep understanding them, while you keep placing your feelings on the backburner. After awhile it will become tiring to always be the one catering to someone else's feelings. Do you feel that you are the one constantly giving and giving and giving and giving some more to the other person yet receiving nothing in kind?
While it is true that each person shares themselves in their own way, however, a good gauge of how much each person is giving is if you are feeling drained and you are left feeling as if you have nothing more to give. You feel burnt-out, you feel taken advantage of and you feel as if you do not matter, that you are just there to service the other person.
Chances are you have forgotten your own existence in this whole thing. That does not necessarily mean that you did a bad thing for yourself. Maybe you have always been the understanding one. You keep understanding what the other person is going through, so you self-less-ly became for that person, thereby putting yourself aside. You probably did not want to feel that you were being selfish thinking only about yourself. However, while you were self-lessly being for that person, that person was selfishly being only for themselves and not being for you at all.
It is time to reclaim your sanity, your self-respect, your self-love and your pride. If you find that you are the always catering to someone else while they are only catering to and for themselves, then it is time to step back from that individual and start caring for you. While there is nothing wrong with being for others, we need to always remember that our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual selves are just as important so we need to pay attention to ourselves also, if not more.
A self-less person will always be attracted to a selfish person. Why? Because they are the same. How is that you may ask? Well, a person who is being self-less is actually being selfish. They are being selfish to themselves just as the selfish person is being only for themselves. Please, do not be confused. If we have not learned how to be for ourselves, how to take care of our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being first, then we will find ourselves feeling burnt-out and feeling resentful of those for whom we are being self-less.
In order to truly be for others self-lessly, we need to build up ourselves emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. It is only when we are fully loaded within ourselves can we truly serve others unconditionally. We can then put ourselves aside from a position of strength and internal power in order to be for others. That does not mean that anyone should take advantage of your self-less nature. Your personal and intimate relationships should be a place of deep intimacy, deep sharing, open communication, no emotional manipulation, deep and sincere love. If your intimate relationship is anything less, then that is not a safe or healthy place for you to be.
Truth be told, those that you are always catering to, have every right to be selfish. You are already there doing everything for them, catering to them, so no wonder they are being selfish. They love being catered and who would turn down being catered to. It is said that you can't change a person's actions, but you can change your reaction.
Personally, I prefer another rendition of that statement, "You can't change a person's actions, but you sure can change your actions." If you find that you are feeling burnt-out, resentful, angry at how much of yourself you are sacrificing for that other person, you find that you are the one constantly understanding them, waiting on them, while they are going about living their lives, ignoring you, then it is time to take back your life. Time to start catering to you.
It is time to stop sacrificing your welfare, your life and your future for someone who is only looking out for themselves. If you find that you are always the one to cater to other people and they are taking advantage of you, then stop. Yes, yes, I know that you can't stop right away, cold turkey. However, once you become consciously aware of what you have been doing, you can now take steps to take yourself away from the person who is being selfish and start focusing on your own welfare and your own well-being.
You have the right to change anything in your life that is not making you happy. If you are always left feeling burnout, then it is time to reposition your life's compass so that it begins to turn in the direction of your North Star. Maybe it is time to turn your attention from that person and begin creating your passionate life. It is time to move your life forward. You as much as anyone else is deserving of a happy and beautiful life. It is your birthright, so do not sell out your birthright.
If you are constantly catering to someone else, you are always giving, giving and giving, and they are taking, taking and taking, you are selling your birthright. Not only is that person not for you for the short or longterm, you are giving somebody else your happiness, your life while you are leaving yourself with nothing. Take back your happiness take back your life. When the time is right, in the Divine time, The Universe will send someone into your life who will take hold of your hand and say, "Let's Walk Together". ~Here's to Star-lit, beach walks!~:)
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