Are You Tired of Always Catering To Someone Else's Life and Feelings?

There is no other place more frustrating than an intimate relationship where you are always the one sacrificing your feelings, your emotions, your wants, your needs, your desires in order to be for the other person. You keep understanding them, while you keep placing your feelings on the backburner. After awhile it will become tiring to always be the one catering to someone else's feelings. Do you feel that you are the one constantly giving and giving and giving and giving some more to the other person yet receiving nothing in kind?

While it is true that each person shares themselves in their own way, however, a good gauge of how much each person is giving is if you are feeling drained and you are left feeling as if you have nothing more to give. You feel burnt-out, you feel taken advantage of and you feel as if you do not matter, that you are just there to service the other person.

Chances are you have forgotten your own existence in this whole thing. That does not necessarily mean that you did a bad thing for yourself. Maybe you have always been the understanding one. You keep understanding what the other person is going through, so you self-less-ly became for that person, thereby putting yourself aside. You probably did not want to feel that you were being selfish thinking only about yourself. However, while you were self-lessly being for that person, that person was selfishly being only for themselves and not being for you at all.

It is time to reclaim your sanity, your self-respect, your self-love and your pride. If you find that you are the always catering to someone else while they are only catering to and for themselves, then it is time to step back from that individual and start caring for you. While there is nothing wrong with being for others, we need to always remember that our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual selves are just as important so we need to pay attention to ourselves also, if not more.

A self-less person will always be attracted to a selfish person. Why? Because they are the same. How is that you may ask? Well, a person who is being self-less is actually being selfish. They are being selfish to themselves just as the selfish person is being only for themselves. Please, do not be confused. If we have not learned how to be for ourselves, how to take care of our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being first, then we will find ourselves feeling burnt-out and feeling resentful of those for whom we are being self-less.

In order to truly be for others self-lessly, we need to build up ourselves emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. It is only when we are fully loaded within ourselves can we truly serve others unconditionally. We can then put ourselves aside from a position of strength and internal power in order to be for others. That does not mean that anyone should take advantage of your self-less nature. Your personal and intimate relationships should be a place of deep intimacy, deep sharing, open communication, no emotional manipulation, deep and sincere love. If your intimate relationship is anything less, then that is not a safe or healthy place for you to be.

Truth be told, those that you are always catering to, have every right to be selfish. You are already there doing everything for them, catering to them, so no wonder they are being selfish. They love being catered and who would turn down being catered to. It is said that you can't change a person's actions, but you can change your reaction.

Personally, I prefer another rendition of that statement, "You can't change a person's actions, but you sure can change your actions." If you find that you are feeling burnt-out, resentful, angry at how much of yourself you are sacrificing for that other person, you find that you are the one constantly understanding them, waiting on them, while they are going about living their lives, ignoring you, then it is time to take back your life. Time to start catering to you.

It is time to stop sacrificing your welfare, your life and your future for someone who is only looking out for themselves. If you find that you are always the one to cater to other people and they are taking advantage of you, then stop. Yes, yes, I know that you can't stop right away, cold turkey. However, once you become consciously aware of what you have been doing, you can now take steps to take yourself away from the person who is being selfish and start focusing on your own welfare and your own well-being.

You have the right to change anything in your life that is not making you happy. If you are always left feeling burnout, then it is time to reposition your life's compass so that it begins to turn in the direction of your North Star. Maybe it is time to turn your attention from that person and begin creating your passionate life. It is time to move your life forward. You as much as anyone else is deserving of a happy and beautiful life. It is your birthright, so do not sell out your birthright.

If you are constantly catering to someone else, you are always giving, giving and giving, and they are taking, taking and taking, you are selling your birthright. Not only is that person not for you for the short or longterm, you are giving somebody else your happiness, your life while you are leaving yourself with nothing. Take back your happiness take back your life. When the time is right, in the Divine time, The Universe will send someone into your life who will take hold of your hand and say, "Let's Walk Together". ~Here's to Star-lit, beach walks!~:)

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3 Hard But Useful Attributes to Help You Succeed

Sometimes we have to do hard things to become great. If we do easy things, our lives become hard in the future. If we do hard things our lives become easy in the future. Doesn't this remind you of the John F Kennedy quote about going to the moon in 1962, " We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things (accomplishments and aspirations), not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that challenge is one that we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win". 

To progress in life we have to constantly do things that we perceive as hard. I would like to share with you three hard things for you to do that I wish you commit to in order for you to improve your level of effectiveness and productivity.

These three things will help you as you work towards reaching your goals - whatever your goals are, whether you have career goals, business goals or a personal goal to exercise or become healthier.

(I) Getting up early at 5am

A study done by Texas University in 2008 showed that students who identified themselves as morning people achieved better grades than those who were the "night owls". Further research has shown that early risers are more productive, are better planners and better goal achievers. 

Getting up early has immense advantages. Imagine being able to exercise early consistently every day and meet your fitness goals, meet all your deadlines at work and be able to take on a new hobby. This is what you can be able to achieve if you make a firm resolution to identify yourself as an early riser and get up early at 5am.

(II) Working long hours

Gone are the 60s where there were no mobile phones, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the internet. We are more distracted these days than we ever were. It is easy to lose focus because our focus has shifted due to the ever changing technologically advanced world.

Working long hours can help you shift your focus from distractions and turn your dreams to reality. How many people dream of writing a book, how many dream of achieving fitness and look like health magazine models, how many people do you know that would like to start a serious business or obtain a qualification? All of these things require focused work that will take long hours.

Unfortunately few people these days have the ability to switch off from the world and do four to six hours of focused work. Harness your ability to grind for long hours and possess a rare attribute that most people lack in today's world. This will set you apart and enable you to achieve all your goals.

(III) Thinking in the long term

Live in the present but think in the future. Too many of us get caught to pleasures of the moment and forget the future that we want to create. Human beings are the most intellectually capable of all species in the world but remain limited by the inability to think beyond the present.

I encourage you to develop a 5 year plan for your ideal self in all key areas of your life i.e. career, spirituality, health, finances and relationships. Take a moment every day to remind yourself of what you want to achieve in the long term. This will help you not only live in the present but psychologically and subconsciously prepare yourself for the future you want to create.

Living this way will help you create a meaningful life and not get caught in day to day activities that do not help you create the change that you want to see in your life. If you do this you will thank yourself many years later and you won't have to look back in regret and wonder what you did with your life.

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