How to Make Better Decisions (Even When You Struggle to Trust Yourself)

 

Have you ever paused in life, not because you didn’t know the options, but because you couldn’t decide which way to go? You’re not alone. For many people—including myself—decision making can feel like a pressure test on self-trust. You might question, “What if I make the wrong choice?” or “Maybe I don’t know enough yet.”

But here’s the truth: indecision is rarely about a lack of intelligence or ability—it’s often about a lack of confidence in trusting yourself. And that’s something you can change.

In this article, we’re exploring how decisions work, why we get stuck, and how you can begin to change your relationship with choice so you feel fewer regrets and more momentum in your life.

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Why Decisions Can Feel So Hard

At its core, decision making is a mental process where we weigh options and possible outcomes based on our experiences, emotions, memories, and logic. Research shows that emotions and memories deeply influence the choices we make, sometimes even more than rational thought.

When we don’t fully trust ourselves, we often delay decisions—either out of fear of getting it wrong or because we’re waiting to feel more certain. This delay feels “safe,” but in reality it keeps us stuck.

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Make Decisions to Feel Unstuck

Some decisions feel bigger than they are simply because we don’t want to feel stuck anymore. The desire to move forward is a powerful motivator, and sometimes making any decision—imperfect though it may be—is enough to break that sense of paralysis.

Even small decisions signal to your brain that you can move forward, and that builds confidence over time.

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Seeing Beyond the Present Moment

When we focus too much on what’s happening right now—especially fear or uncertainty—we limit our perspective. The most effective decision makers learn to visualize where they want to be a year or five years from now.

By imagining future outcomes instead of clinging to the present moment, you open yourself up to options you might have blocked out otherwise.

This ability to see beyond “what is” helps reduce fear-driven hesitation and supports decisions that lead to growth.

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The Trial & Error Method of Decision Making

Not every choice is final. In fact, many smart decisions are experiments in disguise. Trial and error isn’t failure—it’s learning by iteration.

In psychology, people often use “heuristics,” or mental shortcuts, to make decisions. These are rules of thumb that allow us to act quickly without perfect information. Trial and error is a natural part of this process—especially when you don’t yet trust your judgment.

Instead of avoiding decisions, try treating them like mini experiments:

• What can I learn from this?

• If it doesn’t work, what will it teach me?

This mindset removes the pressure of “being right” and replaces it with curiosity.

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Start With Small Decisions to Gain Momentum

Confidence doesn’t emerge fully formed—it builds. One of the most powerful ways to strengthen your decision-making muscles is to start with small choices.

Even deciding what to eat, how to spend your free time, or which task to tackle first can build momentum. Each small decision is a mini success that builds trust in your judgment and reduces the mental load of future decisions.

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Decision Making Isn’t a One-Step Process

Many people think of decision making as a single moment—a choice between A and B. But in reality, it’s an ongoing process:

1. You gather information

2. You evaluate options

3. You make a choice

4. You observe the results

5. You refine your approach

This loop means no decision is final or irreversible, and learning to think in cycles rather than one-off moments can free you from fear-based thinking.

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Decision vs. Commitment

Here’s a powerful insight many people overlook: Choosing something isn’t the same as committing to it forever.

A decision is your best choice right now based on what you know. A commitment is what you choose to stick with and act on. Recognizing this difference helps reduce overwhelm—because you can decide and still adjust later if needed.

Commitment doesn’t have to mean rigidity—it means intentional action toward your growth.

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Decision Making Is a Continual Process

Life isn’t a series of single choices but a continuum of learning, adjusting, and acting. Every small decision feeds into a larger rhythm of progress. Some days decisions are easy; other days they’re not. But the more you make decisions—even imperfect ones—the stronger your self-trust becomes.

Remember: Your past choices shape your confidence today—and your new decisions shape your confidence tomorrow.

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Why Trusting Yourself Matters

If decision making feels hard for you, much of that struggle may come down to one thing: trust—trust in your ability to choose, adapt, and learn from the outcomes you create.
When you doubt yourself, every choice feels heavy. When you trust yourself, even uncertainties become opportunities instead of obstacles.

Learning to trust your own judgment isn’t instant—but every choice you make builds that trust.

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Your Next Step

If you’ve felt stuck, uncertain, or overwhelmed by choices in your life, know this: decision making is a skill—not a gift. And like any skill, it improves with practice, reflection, and intentional action.

Start small. Embrace trial and error. See decisions as a journey rather than a verdict. And over time, your ability to make meaningful choices will transform not just what you do—but who you become.

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The High Cost of Doing Nothing

Cost is sometimes a difficult term to define. Here, we are not simply discussing cost as it relates to selling price, but rather opportunity cost. The web site, "Mentors, Ventures and Plans" defines opportunity cost as "The loss of the next best alternative whenever a decision is made involving two or more options". "Investing in Options" defines it as "Choosing the best alternative means that you can't choose the next-best alternative. Opportunity cost is the next-best alternative that must be sacrificed in order to get something else you want. Opportunity cost can be thought of as the road not taken." Inactivity, or doing nothing, is usually the highest price paid and is often associated with great opportunity cost. Inaction is usually the worst decision one can make, made from a base of fear.

Many of us freeze when facing decisions. For some reason, decision making becomes complex, paralyzing and even painful for many people. It should not be this way. Making a decision is simply the act of choosing between alternatives. You must learn to weigh the implications of each possible decision and choose the outcome that is best for you and all others involved. For example, when your telephone bill comes due, you may choose to pay it or not. There are real obvious consequences for both actions. The situation becomes more complex however, when our human emotions enter the picture. For instance; you are offered a new job and must decide to leave your current position and move your family to a new location, hundreds of miles away.

What we often fail to realize, is that delaying important decisions or simply not making a decision at all, are actions that often impact us with the highest opportunity costs and worst case scenarios. Inactivity, or the lack of a decision, is actually a decision made, although one seldom made in our best interests. In this case, we unfortunately transfer over control of our lives to external forces and circumstances. We are now positioned to be at the mercy and decision-making of others. This is not your best scenario. There are often unusually high costs associated with doing nothing.

Decision making is actually a skill set that can be learned and refined. Like all skills, entering into a new area as a novice requires practice and application in order to improve. Keep in mind that you will indeed improve! Start small, with less important decisions involving less than crucial outcomes and gradually make more decisions on matters of greater importance. Soon, you will have few if any issues with making decisions. Learn to start small and work your way up, gradually extending your comfort zone in this area. A by-product of learning these new skills is that your confidence will surely improve as well.

Decision making need not be frightening. Think of it as a process that is your own, shedding any external pressure that others may be applying. Take your time, get your facts and choose the outcome that works best for you. Do not allow yourself to fall victim to the high cost of doing nothing.

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