Stepping Out and Over the Edge Into Healing

I will never forget my first experience of abseiling as part of an emergency team training session. It was such a dipolar experience. Stepping over the edge was a gargantuan challenge, yet once I was over the precipice the rest of the exercise was pure technique, not to mention enjoyable.

I remember feeling silly that I had all this protection equipment on, and skilled instructors, and additional belay, yet part of me did not want to climb over that edge. As I did, and I feel for you if you have a fear of heights, I felt my sense of equilibrium tested and stretched. My body was hard and my grip was tight, revealing that I had illogical trust issues that defied what I knew to be true - this system of abseiling could be 100% trusted.

Yet...

in manifold fear, action speaks volumes, as involuntary responses take over.

Once I was over the edge, all of the challenge evaporated, and the rest of the exercise was easy. Indeed, it was one of those experiences you just want to do again and again, having overcome the initial hurdle.

The exercise of abseiling seems to me to be pretty close to the exercise of healing one's inner dialogue of pain and trauma. Of course, this assumes that the therapy is safe, where any risk of fall would be eliminated. The abseiling analogy imagines that the hardest part of plumbing our grief and trauma is stepping over the edge, of trusting our pain to a process, of knowing we will come out intact on the other side.

Stepping out over the edge where we feel we might fall is terrifying. Such a fear needs to be validated, listened to, valued, and addressed.

We don't know if we will be re-traumatised. We don't know how we will respond emotionally, and having unscrewed the lid, we need confidence to know we will be able to contain it. If we haven't experienced it, we are forgiven for having all manner of reservation.

I think the best therapist in these situations is the one who has unexpected levels of compassion, the copious grace of empathic patience, and mastery over their ability to discern. They almost make it too safe. They make their interventions double- and triple-safe. They may even give us the kind of confidence that encourages us to have a go. Indeed, they may offer so much space that we are saying, 'I'm ready to go already!'

As we step over the edge, having been protected from falling into an abyss, we do so holding capable hands. We do so holding the hand of our helper whilst also holding the hand of God.

We step out and over the edge safely and into the destiny of our awaiting future beyond our fears.

As we step over the edge into the new frontier of the expansive life that God is calling us to, we do so trusting the implicit safety we have been given. We step over the edge knowing that the hardest thing is over, and even though there may be more unsafe edges to climb over, having conquered the first edge we are granted courage to know that we can do it.

Overcome a hurdle and the next similar hurdle is no such worry.

God has ordained for each of us this life that we live. It is all we have, so we make the most of the opportunity. If we shrink back now and don't make the most of the days we have, we very well miss what is ours alone to have. Today is the day to step forward into the day's destiny.

So, the opportunity ahead of each of us is to identify which edges we need to step over, and to find safe ways of entering into the healing that God has for each of us.

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Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Demonstration

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWu3rSEddZI Anxiety Solution - Keep Anxiety in check - this is so easy & works. Anxious about a meeting, interview, job, finances etc - this can be done so easily to become calm. Give it a Try... Please feel free to leave your comment below :)

Loving Yourself Can Heal Fear

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I know from my own experiences that what Eleanor Roosevelt said in the above quote is very true.

• I used to be scared to speak up for myself or speak my truth, and now I do it easily.
• I used to be afraid of public speaking or doing radio or TV shows, and now I do these easily.
• I used to be scared to be in my power, and now it's natural for me.
• I used to be afraid of confrontation and conflict, and now I welcome these experiences in order to learn from them.
• I used to be scared that if I opened to learning with my higher guidance, there would be nothing there, and now I know that I'm never alone and am always being guided.
• I used to be afraid of my deeper painful feelings, and now I embrace them with love and compassion and allow them to move through me. I now know that I can lovingly manage them and that they won't overwhelm me.
• I used to be afraid to write, and now writing flows easily.

We can't talk ourselves out of fear, which is what our ego wounded-self tries to do. When we choose to operate as a loving adult with a strong motivation to love ourselves, then we don't put our inner child out there alone to do something we are afraid of doing.

For example, when I first started public speaking and teaching - before Spirit brought us inner work - I was very scared of not knowing what to say or of forgetting what I wanted to say. I was scared that I would get so nervous that I wouldn't be able to talk. After I started to practice inner work, I realized that I had been putting my inner child out there to do the teaching. Of course she was scared! It was not a job for my inner child!

Now, before I speak or teach or do a radio or TV show, I make sure to tell my inner child that this isn't her job - that it's the job of my loving adult allowing my higher self to speak through me. Instead of trying to control what I say, I surrender to my higher guidance and allow her to be the speaker and teacher.

After doing this many times, the fear went away.

Healing Fear Through Loving Yourself

The more my inner child knows that I am here loving myself through fear, the safer she feels with things that used to feel very scary. Healing fear through loving myself means:

• Consistently showing up as a loving adult so that my inner child doesn't feel alone with scary things.
• Being willing to do the scary things over and over until the positive experiences become part of my neural pathways.
• Letting my inner child know that it's okay to make mistakes and to fail, and that my worth and lovability are not attached to outcomes.
• Valuing my willingness to try new and scary things so that my inner child feels valued for the effort rather than for the outcome.
• Being compassionate rather than critical with my feelings when things don't turn out the way I want.
• Letting go of having to know ahead of time whether or not something is best for me and being willing to trust what I want and the information I receive from my guidance regarding what is in my highest good - willing to go with the flow of life rather than trying to control it.

I encourage you to start doing what you want to do rather than allowing fear to stop you, and see what happens!
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Cara Delevingne's Powerful Life Advice on Overcoming Depression and Anxiety

DON'T BE AFRAID TO FAIL

Tips for Thinking Clearly When Facing Difficult Challenges

I'm sure you've had times in your life when you wondered how you were going to get through.

But the fact is, if you are reading this article, you obviously got through whatever challenge was facing you. You may have judgement about how well you handled whatever it was you were stuck on, but you can't deny that you got through!

How did you do it?

How might you have done it better...or at least believe you did it better, so as to generate less judgment within yourself about how you did it?

Understanding how you perceive, process, and respond to crisis, or any challenging situation, is vital to moving forward and being able to handle these types of situations as well as you possibly can.

So, let's take a look.

One thing you may have observed about yourself in crisis is that it's often difficult to think clearly when you're highly challenged by how things are happening around you.

It'd difficult to think clearly when what is happening is different from What you expected or how you wanted things to go.

Perhaps you were busy saying to yourself, "This can't be happening!", or "Oh no, I can't possibly handle this!", or even, "I'm going to die!"

When your brain goes into denial mode, and then moves quickly into survival mode, it's difficult to get a clear picture of what's actually going on in the situation, or what to do about what's happening.

Albert Ellis, noted psychologist, speaker, and author refers to the phenomenon as "awful-izing." It's the Oh-my-god, Oh-my-god, Oh-my-god chatter that goes on in your brain when you're overwhelmed and feeling out of your league in finding a way out of whatever situation you're in.

But this type of thinking mentally gets in your way and interferes with clarity of focus, attention, and problem-solving capability. Once the primal, reptilian brain is activated, the decisions you make are geared toward keeping you safe.

Decisions made out of this mind-set are automatically generated to insure survival and do not involve much conscious thought. They are a knee-jerk reaction to a felt sense that you are in danger. And whether you are actually in danger or not, the behaviors that come from this process are an assumption that there is a real threat to your safety that must be handled...right now!

How can you get around this mechanism?

First, let me be clear that I am not suggesting you ignore truly dangerous situations. The primal reflexes are hard-wired into us for a reason.

There is nothing abnormal or pathological about an initial knee-jerk reaction to something. If there is a real threat to your safety, this mechanism allows you to react without having to think about it first.

That's really important if you might die in the next 5-10 seconds!

And there is no technique in the world that will override that initial survival mechanism. (Try not jerking your leg when the doctor hits the front of your knee with a mallet!)

But, you can refrain from hitting the doctor!

When the first 5-10 seconds have passed and you aren't dead or seriously injured, here are some tips for managing your primal brain and allowing yourself access to the rational, cognitive portion of the brain which is much better suited to assessing (after the immediate gut reaction) whether a challenging situation is truly dangerous to your actual survival and what is ultimately the wisest course of action.

In other words, it will help you assess whether there's a tiger in the room, or whether what you are seeing is merely the shadow of a couch?

First of all, take a deep breath...or two or three...

Breathing is good! It gives you a moment of waiting, as well as providing more oxygen to the brain to help with mental clarity.

Next, take a metaphorical, or actual, step away from the situation. Give yourself some room (and some time) to look at things in a broader scope, to see the whole picture rather than just the part that is scaring the dickens out of you.

Now, count to three, or four, or ten...whatever is required to stop your head from spinning, and to allow you to plant yourself firmly in time and space. Make sure you are sitting in the middle of the present moment in time.

Finally, ask yourself three questions:

1. What will most likely happen if I do nothing?
2. Is it just my feelings that are hurt? Is this perhaps an emotional affront to my sense of who I am and how I believe I deserve to be treated?
3. What other options might there be for handling the situation, rather than fight, flight, or freeze?

Bingo!

That's where using your interpersonal skills of communication, emotional intelligence, collaboration, compromise, working on win/win solutions, etc. come in!

Give it a try!

You'll be amazed how much your relationships will improve and how much closer you can feel to people in you life when you no longer act as if many of them are out to get you, and when your reactions are kept in check sufficiently so that you feel more in charge of how you respond to situations in your life!

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How To Create More Money FAST

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "I know I should be making more money"... and yet it just isn't showing up? There's a level of income you're trying to create, but the universe seems to be on its own slower-than-slow timeline. You wonder whether you're putting blocks in your own path, or exactly what's happening?

Riley Diess is a decorated veteran turned motivational speaker. She has a natural talent for inspiration, and whenever she delivers a keynote speech, people are lined up for blocks to talk to her. With her rave reviews, and stellar referrals, she wonders, "I honestly couldn't work any harder, or any more diligently! But isn't there a way to make this money-thing go faster? Am I somehow blocking my own success?"

A lack of revenue could be for a million reasons... from our marketing message to our advertising budget to the employees we engage. It could also be from outside forces, like the market conditions we experienced back in 2008 and 2009.

If we're freelancing for other companies, a lack of a strong income could be from economic conditions like election years or foreign policy concerns... or it could come from something closer to home like mismanagement or a lack of vision of the company we work for... it could even be that we're under-qualified or over-qualified as compared to other freelancers or competitors.

So a lack of revenue can get down to a number of different reasons. But underneath it all, there's really only one reason we don't have affluence:

It's because we're focused on LACK.

If we're thinking about what we don't have, that vibration of what we don't have creates our reality.

The more we focus on prosperity thinking, the more prosperity will find its way to us. That's about as simple as it gets! This is what Riley started doing quite successfully, and you can too. (In this podcast episode, we'll even learn how to hold on to the "bigness" of a money goal, but not create a vibrational barricade to receiving it.)

Suggestion: When you're feeling stuck, it's never the situation that has you stuck... it's your energy that's become stuck, by the trigger of negative emotions that can come from past situations or events.

In other words, it isn't the pain of the situation; it's the pain of not being connected in the natural energy of who you really are... of being connected to that magical part of you that's a creative vibrational being who can use positive energies to create what you want and bring it into physical manifestation. Part of this process is to allow your manifestations to materialize, and not get stuck in the negative vibrations that block them.

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IT'S POSSIBLE (Les Brown's Greatest Hits)

For your morning inspiration.

Shrink Wrap or Unwrap: The Best Way to Achieve Your Goals

"I can't afford it right now," Laine said in a small voice. I could feel even over the phone how her energy was shrinking, moving away from what she wanted but felt she couldn't have. 

Laine's not alone. Her dilemma is one we all face, over and over again, as we move through this journey as entrepreneurs. 

We want to expand, to grow, to reach out and hold what we so desire, but then the contradictory voices come up. 'I can't afford it', 'I can't do that', 'I don't know enough about that'. Even, 'it's not the right time' can be a message that keeps you from what you really want.

If we listen to those messages, we can hold ourselves back, not fully entering into what we want even if it feels so right. 

It's our natural and healthy wanting that is drawing us to what will serve us best. 

Now I'm not saying to recklessly plunge into every impulse you have. What I'm talking about is a draw towards something you truly want. 

So how do you make the right decision for you and your business when there's something you want, and a shrinking energy comes up? 

First, there's something you should know about doing things differently than you have before. When you're entering into a change, even if you really want it, those contradictory voices will pop up. That's called resistance. It comes from your primal impulse to protect yourself. 

That self-protective impulse against doing something new isn't a bad thing. It can keep you from being reckless. But that impulse against change will come up even if what you'd like to do is the best thing for you. You just have to know how to deal with it. Here's how: 

Rather than dealing with resistance like a whack-a-mole player, trying to get rid of every resistant thought that comes up, you can thank the primal part of your brain, the brain stem, for its message. Then, engage your thinking brain, your cerebral cortex. 

If you feel like Laine, that you can't afford it, look at return on investment. Can I recoup the money I'm about to invest? Will taking this step likely lead to more income than I would otherwise have? 

If you feel you don't know enough about it, then find out. Do some research. Talk to people who've done it. Learn from their experience. 

If you feel you can't do it, or that this isn't the right time, look at why. Is there training or information or resources you need? 

If not, then look to fear as the culprit. There really isn't much you can't do - there's almost always a way. There are mostly things you choose not to do. And a choice away from what you really want, even if it seems like just a delay, is most often fear. 

Ask yourself, what's scary about it? Is it new and unfamiliar? Does it have elements that you veer away from? 

Really take some time to sit with these feelings, move into them as much as you can. They're not trying to be mean, even if they are uncomfortable. They have something valuable to tell you. 

This unwrapping of your 'I can't do it' response provides a wealth of information. It's rich territory. 

What do you believe about money? 

What do you believe about opportunities? 

What do you believe about how deserving you are to have what you want to have? 

Big stuff, I know, that can reach back to recent experiences, or all the way back to childhood. 

The thing is, it's all affecting your business right now, in the present. What you believe about yourself and how the world works is so important in how you make decisions. When you unwrap that, a huge gift is waiting for you inside. 

You don't have to go into the why's and the story behind it. You can usually just unearth the belief, and then choose something different. 

Choosing something new can feel risky. And that's OK. We can never get past the point where there's no risk. Calculated risk, reasonable risk based on what you know and what is likely to happen as a result of your decision, is both helpful and valuable. 

You can't grow without taking risks. Your business can't grow. 

So, like Laine, when you come to a decision point, when something draws you and you feel you want to shrink away from it, look at what might be happening. 

Here's an additional way to approach it: see what's happening in your body. Your body is a wonderful indicator of what is right for you. Does moving towards it feel expansive, freeing? Does moving away from it feel sad, and you feel smaller? That's a good indicator that moving towards is the right choice for you. 

We all want to grow, to expand our experience and our contribution. To do that, you have to choose it and make decisions accordingly. Take reasonable risks. Move in the direction of what is important to you. 

When you are strongly drawn to do something, make a decision. Do you want to shrink wrap, or unwrap? Do you want to pull away from it because it scares you, or do you want to unwrap it so that you can move towards what you so desire? You get to choose! 

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Principles of Performance

I have written several articles that cover the principles of self-development. I am a true believer that self-development is the key to success. Much of success is about taking action. In many cases, principles of performance have a lot to do with what you do and what you are able to encourage others to do. There are many principles that I use on a constant basis and will continue to use them until they are no longer effective. The number one principle that should be addressed if you are wanting to be successful would be to focus, focus, focus. Most people lose their focus and that is why they are not able to complete anything they pursue.

I am a true believer that for anyone to be successful they need to have the right attitude. A negative attitude has never gotten anyone anywhere but rejected and left out. Expect positive things to happen in your life when your attitude is positive. What you put out is what you get back in most cases. It's like looking in a mirror. Your attitude determines your altitude.

Now, the attitude I am writing about is not falsely manufactured to impress or manipulate others. The attitude that I am addressing would be a true positive attitude that resides deep down inside your soul. The positive attitude I am talking about would be the attitude that oozes from your pores when you wake-up in the morning and stays with you all day long. You know the attitude I am talking about; the attitude that is part of who you are at your core.

If you have a bad attitude, this would be a reflection of who you are inside your soul. If you want to change your attitude, you would first have to change what resides deep down in your soul. If your soul is battered, tattered, and torn, you may want to ask the Lord for His assistance. He can heal a broken soul only if you allow Him to. You will want to ask for an Attitude that can support love, kindness, joy, goodness, and corrective discipline. When you are truly thankful and grateful you will find that a positive attitude will flow from you. And I promise you that it will be noticed by everyone you encounter.

Here is a pet-peeve that drives me nuts. People that make promises and don't keep them. Far too many people make promises they can't keep. They may have good intentions when making a promise, but they don't realize by making a promise that they don't keep taints who they are. No matter what happens in your life your words will stand the test of time. People can take all physical possessions from you, but they can't take your knowledge or your word from you. If your word means nothing, you are nothing. No one will take you seriously. If you do make a promise, you will want to make a plan to fulfill it. 

If you make a future commitment, you must grasp how important it is to follow through with your promise. You should be willing to do whatever it takes to complete your obligation. The reason why so many relationships fail would be due to all parties involved not understanding what it takes to have a wonderful relationship. They do not plan for or understand the sacrifices each must make for the relationship to flourish and work.

Let me bring up something positive to share with you. In general, we usually get from others and ourselves what we expect. The law of expectancy is very powerful. If you don't know what you want, 99.9% of the time you will never obtain it. You must take aim at what you want if you expect to hit your target. Blind men and women don't make good knife throwers. I'm sure you would agree. 

A very successful friend of mine shared this with me; "you will either live up to your expectations or fall short of them. If you expect nothing, you usually end up with nothing. You should know that something from nothing leaves nothing. If you expect to be mediocre then don't expect anything more than average. If you expect to feel bad, you will feel bad. It is a fact that you are what you think about all the time. So, with that being said, if you expect to feel wonderful there will be nothing standing in your way of feeling that way. And always know that if it is possible for you to feel that way, it is also possible for others to feel that way.

The difference between mediocre employees and exceptional employees would be the training they receive. The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is to not train them and keep them. That sounds like an axiom I heard many years ago; "what is worse than a person that can't read, that would be a person that can read and won't." When you think of training as practice and preparation, it makes you wonder how people survive that do not practice and prepare. It is a must that people invest in themselves. In essence, people that do not prepare and invest in their ability don't make the grade. If you want to improve and move from good to excellent, you will want to adopt a rigorous training program and stick to it.

Finally, you will want to seek out what you want in life. If you look for the good things in life, you will find them. If you look for opportunities to prosper and grow from, you will find them. If you look for positive and insightful people that will support you and push you to be your best, you will find them. Then again, if you look for ways to swindle and cheat, you will end up doing just that. If you look for ways to justify leaving your spouse, you will find them. If you look for reasons to hate another, you will find them. It is natural for us to justify what we need or want. If you are not living by lawful standards of integrity, honesty, loyalty, love, and faith, you will be drawn to selfish indulgence, and that leads to misery and unfulfilled dreams. Whatever you have will never be enough. Always look for the good and for ways to help others and you will see that positive things will come from such acts.

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