Who are you? “Oh, this is an easy answer”, but is it really? Who are you or who am I really? It’s easy to assume that we have true knowledge of self, but have we really questioned ourselves? I know the answer for most would be an automatic NO. We are all programmed growing up to protect ourselves from discomfort and danger it is only as we become wiser that we realize that is where the most growth lies & if we ever want to achieve great things we have to be brave enough to put our selves on the edge and honest enough to admit that we have a lot to learn about ourselves. My self-discovery has three keys to establishing that foundational self-discovery. Make yourself uncomfortable, educate yourself, be alone and great growth will follow.
Step 1. Self-Education
The first step to self-discovery is educating yourself for yourself. This means that you must remove all tradition and what you’ve learned throughout your entire life. It is time you question all that you were taught and told. You must even question your strongest beliefs and look at everything from many different views. This means that you must read books, have dialogue with strangers, and travel. Reading has done so much for me in my later years. Growing up, reading was the last thing that I would ever want to do and never in life thought it would be the key in my life transformation. I have read many books that have literally help change my life and my views of life. I have traveled to many states, and countries to discover new land and new cultures.
While traveling I have met amazing individuals that I had great conversations to help in my discovery. My trip to Thailand was the most amazing experience. I went to a bar in Bangkok, Thailand and met and older native sitting at the bar. He spoke English and was a practicing Buddhist, which he educated me greatly about Buddhism. I am not a Buddhist, but I now practice certain Buddhist traditions. I also asked my family several questions, why we had certain traditions, why are we Christian, and the why’s went on for hours. Even though I didn’t receive any concrete answers for any of my why’s. I was told “that’s just how things are and what was passed down to us”. I couldn’t accept an answer like that, and me educating myself on my own terms began to create the foundation for new meaning in my life.
Step 2. Removing Comfort
This education that I was getting for myself also created some discomfort. I was learning new things and found out that there is no right or wrong way to look at things in this life. People have made me think that there is only a right way and of course it’s their way. Educating myself has made me uncomfortable with family, friends, and society. I have also made myself uncomfortable with self-challenges.
Challenging what you think is not possible will remove comfort from your life totally. Going to a mosque when you are Christian is a challenge of comfort. Moving to another state or country when you don’t have any family or friends there is a challenge of comfort. Try new foods, new activities, and tackle all physical and mental fears. When you challenge your mental comfort, you will see what you are capable of and possibly discover something you like along the way. You can read about sky-diving and know everything about the activity but it’s nothing compared the physically act of sky-diving. Go ahead and try new things and you will learn more about yourself than ever before.
Step 3. Be Alone
Now while you are educating and removing comfort from your life, no one should be along for this ride. The journey of self-discovery is exactly for the first part “self”. Being alone removes opinions, judgement, and all the other unnecessary distractions. Being alone will help you master your thoughts and meditate to clear your thoughts as well. I want you to know that being alone does not mean you’re lonely. Loneliness is a feeling of insecurity, trauma, and grief, and being alone is self-love, healing, and secure.
I know we confuse the two often and it makes people feel like they always need someone with them on great adventures. This alone time will give you time to develop your thoughts and master your conscious and subconscious. We have full control of our thoughts and it seems that they run amuck when we are alone, but we can control them. We have full control of our minds and bodies, but we must become conscious of that during self-discovery. Meditate, pray, change bad thoughts into great thoughts, and beat positivity into your subconscious by reading, watching, eating, and listening to just positivity. Being alone and deciding of what you want to think is all in your power.
Continue Discovering
This may sound great but true self-discovery is never established because we are forever evolving. You can greatly accelerate you self-discovery but you can never complete it, as it’s a continual process. This start is just the first chapter of your new life. You must understand that you want to create a foundation of your own and not the one that was given to you. This is the epitome of living your own life and being an adult. You must always educate yourself, travel, remove comfort, and value your alone time. Your life’s foundation may change after some time, but the best part of the change is that you are changing it and no-one else is influencing your decisions. Self-discovery is liberating, scary, and exhilarating and should be done by us all as adults. Now go and be yourself and not what someone made you.
