How Seven Questions and Seven Traits Can Create Your Life Design

The Sevens

There are two sets of sevens that helped me create a life design framework for women and men ready to construct their best life. The first is a group of seven questions that I ask women who are planning their lives:

Life Planning

These questions help create a framework or blueprint for you to fill in to create your ideal life.

1. What will my legacy be?

This isn't about finances, although that may be part of your thinking. How do you want to be remembered? Do you want to change the world - or the lives around you - in some way? I will always remember the professor who introduced me to transformative learning as well as my great aunt, who made the world's best apple pie. Both of these people's legacies are part of the life I've created for myself. I help people transform and, although I can't recreate Auntie's pie, I best some of the best cookies around.

2. What meaningful work do I now want to do?

This goes beyond paid employment. For some women, happiness lies in the perfect career; for others, the ideal volunteer activity; for some, a combination of paid and volunteer work. One friend chose a relatively dull job so that her energies were free for her political activities. One woman I interviewed has a high-powered job and still manages to be actively involved in raising prize-winning alpacas. Others have moved into heading non-profit organizations.

3. How can I fulfill my need to nurture?

Some women live for their grandchildren. Some bond with their pets. Some cuddle infants in hospitals and orphanages. Some have wonderful plants. Some mentor. There are many ways to nurture. The two rescue cats that boss me around can tell you that.

4. How can I sustain meaningful relationships in my life?

As we age, our relationships within our families and friendship circles change. Some will move from single to in relationship; some will become parents, grandparents, perhaps great-grandparents; some will lose spouses or life partners. People move away. People die. Interests change. The need for meaningful relationships, though, continues.

5. How can I express myself creatively?

Although we may not all be painters or sculptors or writers, we all need some means of expression. It could be baking or helping friends pick the perfect outfit or gardening. It could be singing in the choir or planning perfect parties. Whatever your outlet, creativity is part of a joyous life.

6. How can I meet my spiritual needs?

Spirituality does not need to be limited to formal religion to be part of a balanced life. In this context, spirituality refers to awareness of something greater than yourself from which you gain meaning. Perhaps you worship regularly. Perhaps you meditate. Perhaps you spend time in nature. Spirituality is about having a regular outlet for self-renewal.

7. What surroundings do I want?

This is about finding the right place for your ideal life. For every woman who moves to a big city later in life, there is another who seeks a simpler, more rural life. Will necessities like medical care or mobility limit your choices? Who will you want to be near? What services do you need? What activities are important to you?

Creating a Vibrant Life

The second seven is a set of characteristics that I found in the women I interviewed. These are the traits that supported creating a satisfying, lives and wild life:

1. Resilience.

Most of us face challenges in life. What's important is having the ability to bounce back; to rise above them; to find an alternate path. Yes, we may initially respond with depression, immobility, grief and that's both understandable and normal. But at some point, it's time to move on. I've interviewed women who have lost children, husbands, parents, friends. I've interviewed women whose businesses collapsed, who got fired or lost jobs, who filed for bankruptcy, who survived floods and fires and rape and abuse and cancer. And they all found a way to learn from tragedy and to rebuild their lives. And they're happy and successful moving forward.

2. Persistence.

If something didn't work the first time, these women tried again. Or tried something slightly different. Or found a whole new path to achieve what they'd wanted from the original goal. They didn't give up or walk away.

3. Curiosity and Restlessness.

So many women are lifelong learners. They are always exploring. Some described themselves as easily bored. It amazed me to find so many women whose attitude was, "been there, done that, loved it." This was always followed by asking what's next. Curiosity keeps us live, aware, exploring, and excited.

4. Openness to New Things.

This is similar to curiosity. Women who create their ideal lives are much more likely to say "why not?" than "why?" If offered the opportunity to create a new business or move to Asia, they're there.

5. Scanning the Environment, Recombining and Synthesizing.

What do you see when you look at the world? This is about being able to take both a broad and narrow view. It's easier to create your ideal life when you see how everything you know or have done can be recombined and synthesized - reused in unexpected ways or brought together in an unusual manner. Many of the most successful women I spoke with were also able to scan the horizon and see emerging trends and possibilities.

6. Dealing with Fear

Many of us may be afraid on a regular basis. What do you do when faced with fear? How do you separate unrealistic fears from realistic ones?

7. Creating a Legacy and Having Fun

According to Jung, the second half of life is about making meaning. What will your legacy be? What will you have contributed to the world. And finally, are you enjoying your life? Fun keeps us vibrant and young. What's fun for you?

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