How Seven Questions and Seven Traits Can Create Your Life Design

The Sevens

There are two sets of sevens that helped me create a life design framework for women and men ready to construct their best life. The first is a group of seven questions that I ask women who are planning their lives:

Life Planning

These questions help create a framework or blueprint for you to fill in to create your ideal life.

1. What will my legacy be?

This isn't about finances, although that may be part of your thinking. How do you want to be remembered? Do you want to change the world - or the lives around you - in some way? I will always remember the professor who introduced me to transformative learning as well as my great aunt, who made the world's best apple pie. Both of these people's legacies are part of the life I've created for myself. I help people transform and, although I can't recreate Auntie's pie, I best some of the best cookies around.

2. What meaningful work do I now want to do?

This goes beyond paid employment. For some women, happiness lies in the perfect career; for others, the ideal volunteer activity; for some, a combination of paid and volunteer work. One friend chose a relatively dull job so that her energies were free for her political activities. One woman I interviewed has a high-powered job and still manages to be actively involved in raising prize-winning alpacas. Others have moved into heading non-profit organizations.

3. How can I fulfill my need to nurture?

Some women live for their grandchildren. Some bond with their pets. Some cuddle infants in hospitals and orphanages. Some have wonderful plants. Some mentor. There are many ways to nurture. The two rescue cats that boss me around can tell you that.

4. How can I sustain meaningful relationships in my life?

As we age, our relationships within our families and friendship circles change. Some will move from single to in relationship; some will become parents, grandparents, perhaps great-grandparents; some will lose spouses or life partners. People move away. People die. Interests change. The need for meaningful relationships, though, continues.

5. How can I express myself creatively?

Although we may not all be painters or sculptors or writers, we all need some means of expression. It could be baking or helping friends pick the perfect outfit or gardening. It could be singing in the choir or planning perfect parties. Whatever your outlet, creativity is part of a joyous life.

6. How can I meet my spiritual needs?

Spirituality does not need to be limited to formal religion to be part of a balanced life. In this context, spirituality refers to awareness of something greater than yourself from which you gain meaning. Perhaps you worship regularly. Perhaps you meditate. Perhaps you spend time in nature. Spirituality is about having a regular outlet for self-renewal.

7. What surroundings do I want?

This is about finding the right place for your ideal life. For every woman who moves to a big city later in life, there is another who seeks a simpler, more rural life. Will necessities like medical care or mobility limit your choices? Who will you want to be near? What services do you need? What activities are important to you?

Creating a Vibrant Life

The second seven is a set of characteristics that I found in the women I interviewed. These are the traits that supported creating a satisfying, lives and wild life:

1. Resilience.

Most of us face challenges in life. What's important is having the ability to bounce back; to rise above them; to find an alternate path. Yes, we may initially respond with depression, immobility, grief and that's both understandable and normal. But at some point, it's time to move on. I've interviewed women who have lost children, husbands, parents, friends. I've interviewed women whose businesses collapsed, who got fired or lost jobs, who filed for bankruptcy, who survived floods and fires and rape and abuse and cancer. And they all found a way to learn from tragedy and to rebuild their lives. And they're happy and successful moving forward.

2. Persistence.

If something didn't work the first time, these women tried again. Or tried something slightly different. Or found a whole new path to achieve what they'd wanted from the original goal. They didn't give up or walk away.

3. Curiosity and Restlessness.

So many women are lifelong learners. They are always exploring. Some described themselves as easily bored. It amazed me to find so many women whose attitude was, "been there, done that, loved it." This was always followed by asking what's next. Curiosity keeps us live, aware, exploring, and excited.

4. Openness to New Things.

This is similar to curiosity. Women who create their ideal lives are much more likely to say "why not?" than "why?" If offered the opportunity to create a new business or move to Asia, they're there.

5. Scanning the Environment, Recombining and Synthesizing.

What do you see when you look at the world? This is about being able to take both a broad and narrow view. It's easier to create your ideal life when you see how everything you know or have done can be recombined and synthesized - reused in unexpected ways or brought together in an unusual manner. Many of the most successful women I spoke with were also able to scan the horizon and see emerging trends and possibilities.

6. Dealing with Fear

Many of us may be afraid on a regular basis. What do you do when faced with fear? How do you separate unrealistic fears from realistic ones?

7. Creating a Legacy and Having Fun

According to Jung, the second half of life is about making meaning. What will your legacy be? What will you have contributed to the world. And finally, are you enjoying your life? Fun keeps us vibrant and young. What's fun for you?

Source

Manifesting Your Soul's Purpose with Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dr Wayne Dyer! Inspirational - what do you think?

Dealing With Anger, Resistance And Pessimism

Tony Robbins: Stop Thinking That I Can't Do It ( Tony Robbins Psychology )

Talking about goals & outcomes. Are you a feather in the wind or do you

know what you want and willing to do what it takes to get it!

Taking A Positive Pursuit Toward Your Desires

Your pursuit towards your desires encourages you towards your own achievement. This drives you toward greater satisfaction in your life lays a new blueprint for more positive experiences.

• Do you have a strategy for staying healthy?
• For staying passionate?
• For living some part of your dream every day?
• What does that look like for you?
• What could it look like if you let it?

We're taught not to be too self-important, not to be conceited or think too highly of yourself. Women particularly are programmed to be hard on themselves and judgmental. We're taught that how you look is more important than what you think. You're taught to put the needs of others before our own.

Whatever you believe intellectually, it can be hard to overcome these stereotypes and break out into what is yours to do and feel good about it. To feel confident and purposeful. That said, it's an 'inside job' one you must do yourself. When in pursuit towards your desires begin with valuing yourself, your contributions, your visions, your goals and your dreams.

Small gratifications in your pursuit towards your desires make up the bigger picture of satisfaction. To build your bold and courageous - and envisioned - future. Create a vision board, write it down, and/or take a picture and keep it in your wallet.

When you train a dog, you do it through a series of positive rewards. Eventually the dog learns that if it does this, it gets that. We use food and treats to create positive reinforcement.

Our mind works very much like the dog in this instance; repetition and positive reinforcement eventually create an outcome you desire. You are creating positive experiences; you're 'racking them up' so you can move further and further in the pursuit of your desires toward success.

In your pursuit towards your desires, act by doing this consistently and repeatedly. This creates new neural pathways, trains and re-trains your brain to get more of you what you desire. Through remembering positive experiences, you develop strategies for driving toward greater satisfaction, for staying healthy and contributing to your being.

However, if in the pursuit of the one thing, you desire the most, you begin to deny yourself any fun or free time, and are feeling constantly insecure, unsuccessful, unimportant, and unsafe, you're living your life in a state of lack, hoping one day that you will have an experience that you do want.

Does this mean that you should just work on your state and ignore what is driving you? Not at all!

Focus on what you want

We often need to clear away the dirt and see clearly and it's often surprising how much easier it is to do when there is guidance. Really, when you stop and think about it, most things are easier when you have help, but you seem to think that when it comes to our personal changes - you should be able to do it alone. When you are in pursuit of your desires, yes, you can do it alone, but sometimes you lose perspective on yourself, having no ability to be objective.

This is like a step by step process of cleaning the window - think of it as the window to your soul, or your inner longings, and it can be a profound journey, possibly the most important one you'll undergo. Once you start to see clearly - you will now have the 'what' identified in many areas of your life.

For some, it is like peeling back the layers of the onion, more and more revealing and less clutter as you peel back. For others, it is like cleaning the dirty window of their mental vision. Suddenly daylight streams in, illuminating all that was there, but lying dormant, unseen. For some the process is very quick, for other it's slower. Either way, it's always an exciting process that has a positive outcome.

Learn to discern what's right for you - know or get clear on what you want and then get out of the way as this makes for a life that's rewarding - a life of purpose, passion and clarity.

In your pursuit towards your desires, these are simple questions, but they can give you some real insight into where you resist and where you're open. Often the ideas you have originating in our growing up years. Even if you've changed radically, you still hold the ideas and beliefs from your family of origin somewhere in our heart or head.

It's good to occasionally shine a light onto your beliefs and see if they still serve you. It's helpful to separate out what comes from your head and what comes from your heart.

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