What Drives You? The Secrets To Motivating Yourself

"Your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing." - Abraham Lincoln

Bianca rose to the sound of pigeons cooing and traffic grumbling on the street below. As she yawned and stretched, she thought about what was waiting for her that day.

She felt her motivation slowly drain away with each deadline and commitment that zipped through her thoughts. As Bianca began to wither and wilt internally, she remembered the motivation pills she had purchased last week from the Good Value Pharmacy.

There were yellow pills labelled 'Money', pink pills labelled 'Pride', green pills labelled 'Family', purple pills labelled 'Respect' and some ugly grey pills labelled 'Nagging Advice'. The chemist had told her as he dispensed the pills that some would work for her and some would not... he could never tell in advance which pills would work for which customers. With that advice in mind and a smile on her lips, Bianca reached for the one she knew would be just right for her...

One of the best things you can do for yourself on your journey of self discovery is to work out what drives you. The first step is to identify your values as they provide the fuel for your motivation and the drive behind everything you do in life. If you value something you will always find the motivation and energy to do it. If you don't value something, you will always struggle to find the motivation and energy to do it.

Values

Your values are what are important to you. They are the broad concepts that guide your decisions in life and form the basis of your character. Your values also determine how you spend your time. For example, if your most important value is health, you will spend your time quite differently from someone whose most important value is career or family.

Values also drive all your motivation. You won't pursue a course of action unless it relates to something you value at some level. Identifying your values allows you to kick-start your own motivation, set goals that are appropriate and spend time on things that are important to you.

How Your Values Are Formed

Your values come from a number of sources including your family, friends, religion, school, teachers, country and the media. They are also shaped at any time in your life by significant emotional events such as natural disasters, emotional abuse, global depression or war.

Your values change as you grow and evolve. When you change your values, you will also change some of your beliefs and the way you live life.

How To Identify Your Personal Values

Identifying your personal values helps you to:

• Understand why some issues are a problem for you;
• See why some things motivate you and others don't; and
• Identify and overcome problem areas of your life.

For example, assume you have weight issues. You determine your personal values and find that health and fitness doesn't even rate a mention within your values. You may have found the reason why you are having weight issues, i.e. health and fitness is not something you value. While this remains the case it will be very difficult for you to lose weight and gain a greater level of health and fitness in your life as you will not have any motivation to do so.

You can identify your values by asking yourself:

• What is important to me in relation to my life, career, relationships etc?
• What would cause me to leave my life, career, relationships, etc?

When you have an understanding of your values, it is useful to see how they affect your motivation.

Motivation

Your values drive your motivation. If you set goals that are aligned with your values, you will have the motivation to help you achieve them. If you set goals that are not in line with your values, it will be an uphill struggle to achieve them.

When you understand your values and their impact on how you are currently motivating yourself you will have a wonderful insight into why you achieve the results that you do in life. You will also know how to motivate yourself more effectively in the future.

Motivation comes either from within you (intrinsic motivation) or from an external source (extrinsic motivation).

Extrinsic motivation is provided by some factor external to you. It can take the form of inducements (rewards) or punishments. The rewards can be tangible or intangible (such as praise).

Intrinsic motivation is evident when you engage in an activity for its own sake without any external incentive. It appears from research done by Albert Bandura that if you have more self efficacy (belief in your own abilities to control your environment) you are more highly intrinsically motivated than other people.

As intrinsic motivation is the only one you can take with you and call upon at any time, it is the most important in terms of self motivation.

Intrinsic motivation can be broken down further into 'towards' motivation and 'away from' motivation. 'Towards' motivation is motivation towards something you want and 'away from' motivation is motivation away from something you don't want.

'Away From' Motivation

'Away from' motivation is driven by pain. Pain motivated performance is not pleasant, produces inconsistent results and disappears when the pain is no longer present.

'Away from motivation' does, however, give you a strong initial motivation to move away from the thing you don't want in your life. A problem with using this type of motivation is that you wait until things are bad before you take action to change them. Another problem is that you don't have a target or goal that you are aiming for (just something you are running from) so you don't tend to achieve results.

Sophia uses 'away from' motivation in relation to her weight. As a result she is the classic yo yo dieter. Her process goes like this. Sophia looks in the mirror and sees that she is overweight. She says to herself, 'I don't want to be fat anymore'. She then goes on a diet to ensure she is no longer fat. (She is moving away from being fat). At some point she looks in the mirror and sees that she looks fantastic and is no longer fat. As she is no longer fat, she has just lost the source of her motivation (to no longer be fat). As there is no longer any motivation, she no longer stays on the diet and discards her exercise regime. She will not be motivated to do whatever she needs to stay fit and healthy. At some point in the future she will look in the mirror and again form the judgment that she is fat and the process will start all over again.

When you are motivated away from something that you don't want in life, you tend to focus upon the very thing you don't want and that is what you attract into your life. As examples:

• If you constantly say to yourself, 'I don't want to be broke', your focus is upon being broke and that is where your unconscious mind will aim.
• If you constantly say to yourself, "I don't want to be single", your focus is upon being single and that is where your unconscious mind will aim.

Motivation away from what you don't want can motivate you, but it doesn't do so for long and you can't be sure what results you will achieve. It can give you a fantastic initial boost of energy, but you can never guarantee where you are going to end up as you don't have a firm direction in mind, just a place you want to get away from. If you use away from motivation in your life, you will tend to create a series of crises to keep yourself motivated.

'Towards' Motivation

If you use 'towards motivation' you will take action to move towards your goal and you will achieve them more often than not.

'Towards' motivation is the best way to motivate yourself. When you are motivated towards what you want, you tend to stay consistently motivated until you achieve your goal (provided you desire it enough).

When you are motivated towards what you want, you constantly set and achieve goals each time stretching yourself further. By using motivation towards what you want you give yourself a far greater chance of achieving what you want out of life.

How Do You Know If The Motivation You Use Is 'Towards' Or 'Away From' Motivation?

We now know that values drive your motivation and that motivation can be either towards what you want or away from what you don't want. Now it is time to review your values to discover whether the underlying motivation for each of your values is:

• towards what you want; or
• away from what you don't want.

To determine whether the underlying motivation for each value is 'towards' or 'away from' ask yourself, "Why is that value important to me?" then listen to your self-talk and note what you say to yourself. The clues to whether you are using towards or away from motivation for that value are:

You are probably using 'towards' motivation if you:

• talk about what you do want
• don't use comparisons in your explanation (better than, worse than, more than)

You are probably using 'away from' motivation if you:

• talk about what you don't want
• make comparisons in your explanation or use words such as 'better than', 'more than', 'less than', 'best' etc. (These show you are unhappy with where you currently are)
• use words such as 'must', 'need', 'have to', 'got to' etc

As an example, assume that 'money' was your highest value in relation to your career. You then ask yourself, "Why is the value 'compensation' important to me in relation to my career?"

If your answer is, "Because I want to make a lot of money and live in luxury", the response would indicate 'towards' motivation for this value.

If your answer is, "Because I don't want to be broke and I have to be able to pay my bills", the response would indicate 'away from' motivation for this value.

Your chances of achieving goals relating to 'money' are much greater if you are using towards motivation.

If you find that you have identified 'away from' motivation in relation to any of your values, you will find:

• This area of your life is one where you will experience the most difficulties;
• You will not be achieving the results in this area of your life that you might wish; and
• There are unresolved issues to be cleared away and healed in relation to this area of your life before you will experience the success you desire.

This is wonderful information to have as it identifies areas of your life for you to focus upon.

Problems With Motivation

We all experience problems with motivation at some point. Those times when you just can't seem to find the desire to do things you know you should. The problems can arise because:

• You are low on energy. There are some easy things I'm sure you do when you are feeling 'low' to get your energy back. Remember too that sometimes in life, you need and deserve a rest.
• The thing you are aiming towards is not something you value. (In this case, question whether you should be exerting your energy in that direction); or
• You have a problem with your motivation strategy (see below).

If it is your motivation strategy that is causing you challenges, identify which part of the strategy is causing the problem and then use one of the following techniques to assist you to change it. If you are not motivated because:

• You feel overwhelmed, break the goal down into smaller steps and do them one at a time.
• You are only using 'away from' motivation, identify where you are aiming and focus upon the positive outcomes of attaining it.
• You feel obliged to pursue the goal, either accept the goal is not for you and let it go or focus upon the positive outcomes you will get from achieving the goal.
• You are scared, identify what could go wrong and what you would do if it did.

In Summary

If you understand your values, you will understand what motivates you and why. If you discover whether you are using towards or away from motivation in different areas of your life, you will have answers for why some parts of your life are successful and others are not. If you use one of the above techniques to overcome common motivation problems... and you take action... you should be on your way to success!

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Mastering Motivation - Lessons in Creating Forever Change

Motivation (a few definitions):

(1) A psychological concept with no single universally accepted definition, but which organisational sociologists believe concerns the determinants of intent, effort and tenacity, factors that push or pull us as individuals to behave in a particular manner.

(2) Feelings that drive someone toward a particular objective.

(3) The push of the mental forces to accomplish an action. Unsatisfied needs motivate. On the biological level basic human needs of food, shelter and survival are powerful motivators. On the psychological level people need to be understood, affirmed, validated and appreciated. On the business level motivation occurs when people perceive a clear business reason for pursuing a transfer of knowledge or practices.

If you look up the word Motivation you'll find many contrasting, and almost contradictory definitions of what it is (I found over fifty in five minutes).
It seems that even those who define it aren't exactly sure what it is.
It is definitely (in my opinion anyway) the most over-used (and mis-understood) word on the personal development landscape.

We all kinda know what it is... but at the same time, we don't.
It seems that motivation is (represented by) different things for different people.

I just asked someone (a random person in the gym) what their definition of motivation was and they said, "something which makes us do stuff".

I said "well fear can make us do stuff... so is fear motivation?"

"Er yeh, guess so."

"Well vanity makes us do stuff... so what about vanity as a motivator?"

"Yeh.. guess so."

"Food, sex?"

"S'pose."

The reality is that we are motivated by many things.
Different things.
And the same things.

But what we're talking about in this post is the motivation that helps us create that forever change, that amazing life, that incredible body, that spectacular relationship, that new and improved reality... not the motivation that sees us standing in front of the fridge an hour after our dinner.

For many people, motivation is an emotional state which helps them get certain things done (for a while).

"I felt motivated to go for a run this morning."

"That experience gave me the motivation (changed my thinking and emotional state) to create new habits."

"Whenever I read Craig's amazing, incredible, insightful, clever, witty, life-changing posts (okay, I over did it), I feel inspired and motivated to turn my life around.

The problem with motivation being (essentially) an emotional state (or a place we get to in our head) is that it's temporary. And when the motivation disappears (which it will because our emotions and mental state fluctuate from day to day and moment to moment), then so do the new-found (desirable) behaviours.

In other words, we lose momentum.
We stop doing what we need to do to create the outcomes (realities) we so desperately desire.

For others, motivation is simply a reason to (have to) do something.

"I've gotta work 'cause I have five kids.... I'm not particularly excited about that... don't love it... just needs to be done."

"I exercise three times a week because I don't want to die from a heart attack like my father did."

The truth is that most of us alternate between can't-be-bothered, kinda-motivated and totally-in-the-zone... for much of our lives. Many of us step in and out of 'motivation' on a daily (if not, hourly) basis.

"I can't be bothered today" is a line I've heard thousands of times in my job.

"Do it anyway" I say.

"But I'm not motivated!"

"So do it... despite your lack of motivation."

"Perhaps in the doing... you'll get motivated!"

"It's not normal... but it is possible."

And the amazing thing about doing 'stuff', the stuff we know we should do (even when we're not 'motivated to do it') is that once it's done, we're SO glad we did it (and we usually discover we actually are legitimately motivated after we've done it)... and then we also discover we've developed some new getting-crap-done-even-when-we-don't-feel-like-it skills!

Good skills to have.
Trust me.

If we only do the things we need to do (to create our desired outcomes and achieve our goals) when we feel like it... then we'll never achieve much because we'll be perpetually starting and stopping.
After all, nobody feels motivated (excited, pumped, positive, focused, in-the-zone) permanently.

Lesson one:

People who succeed are usually the ones who continue to do what they need to... even when their feeling of motivation isn't there.

It is my (not particularly popular) opinion (based on a lifetime of observation) that most people who start most endeavours don't finish them.

Great at starting; crap at finishing.

We don't want to think that we're like that.

We don't want to acknowledge it.

But we are.

Often.

Many of us have a history of starting and stopping all kinds of projects and endeavours... might be academic stuff, might be some short-lived, self-improvement journey, might be a potential business or money-making venture, could be a diet or an exercise program or it could be dealing with (or not dealing with) some undesirable habit.

Or a million other things.

You know what they are (for you personally).

We start reading books, we get to chapter two.

We join a gym, we go four times.

We change our eating habits... for three days.

We plan our 'new' business venture.... for ten years!

We get pumped... we lose focus.

And while there are always a range of 'reasons' why we never finish what we start (some of them legitimate, some not), the truth is, we spend far too much time rationalising, explaining and justifying to ourselves and others why we never get the job done.

Lesson two:

Motivation needs to be a commitment, a philosophy and a choice, not an emotional state.

I consider myself to be a highly-motivated person... but I often don't 'feel' motivated.

I have made the choice to be a motivated individual.

I walk into a room (to do a presentation) and I have already made a commitment and a decision to be (personally) motivated and (publicly) motivating.

This is how it works for me:

(1) I choose to be motivated.

(2) I 'behave' motivated... even if I don't 'feel' like it (body language, communication, energy, attitude).

(3) Usually within a short period of time I start to feel genuinely different (excited, positive, happier)

(4) Not only am I 'behaving' motivated but now I'm actually feeling motivated.

Tony Robbins calls this 'changing state'.
It's called different things by the various 'experts', but my experience is that if people genuinely make the effort to do this, it works.

Not everyone agrees with my thoughts on this subject.
That's okay.
I know what works for me and many others I've worked with, so I teach what I know to be true.
Some people believe I over-simplify complex issues.

I believe some people over-complicate simple issues.

Wanna be motivated?
Then behave like you're motivated.
Talk like you're motivated.
And make the decision to be motivated, irrespective of how you're feeling.

Doesn't mean you can't have a bad day or be down... it simply means that most of the time, you're doing what most people won't.
By choice.

Lesson three:

Don't make emotional (or reactive) decisions (when it comes to creating forever results).
Spur of the moment, reactive, emotion-based decisions rarely result in life-long change.
Make sure your motivation, your passion and your emotion are all attached to a sensible and logical plan which factors in the frailties of the human condition (that is, our ability to run hot and cold).

So while some people consider motivation to be something that's almost beyond our control; we either have it, or we don't (on a given day).... I believe it's something we (can) have complete control over.

For me motivation is choice.

I choose to be motivated.

I choose to be a motivator.

I choose to create my own (internal) reality.

I choose to be motivated, even on the bad days.

I choose to keep 'doing' even when I don't 'feel' like it.

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