CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR BRAIN BY THINKING DIFFERENTLY?

Current neuro-scientific theory tells us that the brain is organized to reflect everything we know in our environment. The different relationships with people we have met, the variety of things we own and are familiar with, the cumulative places we have visited and have lived in, and the myriad of experiences we have embraced throughout our years are all configured in the soft plastic tissues of the brain. Even the vast array of actions and behaviors that we’ve repeatedly performed throughout our lifetime is also tattooed in the intricate folds of our gray matter. For the most part, our brain is equal to our environment.

In a normal day, as we respond to familiar people, as we encounter common things in known places at predictable times, and as we experience recurring conditions in our personal world, we will more than likely think and behave in automatic memorized ways. To change, then, is to think and act greater than our present circumstances. It is to think greater than our environment.

We have been told that our brains are essentially hardwired with unchangeable circuitry— that we possess or, better put, are possessed by a kind of neurorigidity that is reflected in the type of inflexible and habitual behavior we often see exhibited. The truth is that we are marvels of flexibility, adaptability, and a neuroplasticity that allows us to reformulate and re-pattern our neural connections to produce the kind of behaviors that we want. We have far more power to alter our own brains, our behaviors, our personalities, and ultimately our reality than previously thought possible. Consider those individuals in history who have risen above their present circumstances, stood up to the onslaught of reality as it presented itself to them, and made significant changes.

For example, the Civil Rights Movement would not have had its far-reaching effects if someone like Martin Luther King, Jr., had not, despite all the evidence around him (Jim Crow laws, separate but equal accommodations, snarling attack dogs, and powerful fire hoses), believed in the possibility of another reality. Though Dr. King phrased it in his famous speech as a “dream,” what he was really promoting and living was a better world where everyone was equal. How was he able to do that? Simply put, he saw, felt, heard, lived and breathed a different reality in his mind than most other people at that time. It was the power of his vision that convinced millions of the justness of his cause. The world has changed because of his ability to think and act greater than conventional beliefs.

Not only did King consistently keep his dream alive in his mind, he lived his life as if his dream was already unfolding. The idea was so alive in his mind that there was a good possibility that his brain “looked as if the experience had already happened.”

Neuroscience has proven that we can change our brains just by thinking differently. Through the concept of mental rehearsal (to repeatedly imagine performing an action), the circuits in our brains can reorganize themselves to reflect our very intentions. In one study, people who mentally rehearsed one-handed finger exercises two hours a day for five days demonstrated the same brain changes as people who physically performed the same movements.1 To put this into perspective, when we are truly focused and single minded, the brain does not distinguish between the internal world of the mind and the external environment.

This type of internal processing allows us to become so involved in our dreams and internal representations that the brain will modify its wiring without having had experienced the actual event. When we change our minds independent of environmental cues and then steadfastly insist on

an ideal with sustained concentration, the brain will be ahead of the actual external experience. In other words, the brain will function as if the experience has already happened. As we embrace the very circumstances that challenge our mind, we will have put the appropriate circuits in place to allow us to behave consistently with our intentions. Simply said, the hardware will have been installed so that we can handle the challenge. When we change our mind, our brain changes, and when we change our brain, our mind changes.

What made Dr. King—or any great leader, for that matter—unique was that his mind and body were united to the same cause. In other words, he did not think one thing and then behave contrary to his intentions. His thoughts and actions were completely aligned to the same outcome. This is not a bad working definition for true leadership. When we can focus our mind on a desired goal and then discipline the body to consistently act in alignment with that end, we are demonstrating greatness. We are literally living in the future, and our body will begin to change in order to prepare us for the new experience. In one study, men who mentally rehearsed doing bicep curls with dumbbells for a short period of time every day showed (on the average) a 13 percent increase in muscle size without ever touching the weights. Their bodies changed to match their intentions.2

So when the time comes to demonstrate a vision contrary to the environmental conditions at hand, it is quite possible for us to be already prepared to think and act, with a conviction that is steadfast and unwavering. In fact, the more we think about or formulate an image of our behavior in a future event, the easier it will be for us to execute a new way of being because the mind and body are unified to that end.

So what is it then that talks us out of true change? The answer is: our feelings and our emotions. Feelings and emotions are the end-products of an experience. When we are in the midst of any experience, all of our five senses are gathering sensory data and a rush of information is sent back to the brain through those five different pathways. As this occurs, gangs of neurons will string into place and organize themselves to reflect that event. The moment that these jungles of nerve cells become patterned into networks, they will fire into place and release chemicals. Those chemicals that are released are called emotions.

Emotions and feelings, then, are neuro-chemical memories of past events. We can remember experiences better when we can recall how they felt. For example, do you remember where you were on 9/11? You probably can clearly recall where you were that day, at that exact time, because you can remember the novel feeling that woke you up enough to pay full attention. More than likely, it was a different feeling than you’d had in a long time.

Back to the concept of change. If emotions brand experiences into long-term memory, then when we are faced with current obstacles in our life that require thinking and acting in new ways, and we use familiar feelings as a barometer for change, we will most certainly talk ourselves out of our ideal. Think about this. Our feelings reflect the past. But to change is to abandon past ways of thinking, acting and feeling so that we can move into the future with a new outcome. To change is to think (and act) greater than how we feel. Emotions like fear, worry, frustration, greed, and self- importance are familiar feelings that, even in the midst of transformation, if we decide to succumb to, will surely point us in the wrong direction.

Can we then begin to contemplate change for ourselves? To learn to think independently of the barrage of environmental stimuli is a skill that, when properly executed, will change the brain, the mind, and the body to prepare us for the future. The art of self-refection may seem as if it is dying in a technological culture that saturates us with so much information that we become

addicted to the external world to stimulate our own thinking. How free are we? Most are lost without the thrill of entertainment, text messaging, phone calls, and the Internet. To make the time to meditate, to plan our future, to mentally rehearse the behaviors we want to change and to think about new ways of being will surely advance us beyond our predictable genetic destiny.

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Finding My Wings

FINDING MY WINGS.

I’m probably going to get fired if I send this text,” I said to my husband, Mike.

“That’s never stopped you before,” he replied.

“You’re right,” I responded and hit send without hesitation.

You see, growing up, I was always an incredibly optimistic person with big dreams to make a huge difference in the world, and nothing ever stopped me. Yes, I realize many people feel this way, but for me it was an overwhelming driving force, dictating and controlling every life decision I made. I felt I had a great destiny, which granted me tremendous confidence and an unwavering need to follow my heart. I always fight for what’s right no matter the consequences.

I’ve abandoned incredibly successful careers, moved cities, spent hundreds of hours learning new skills, and held more new titles than I have fingers, never backing down and never regretting a decision—all in pursuit of my great destiny. The problem was that I had no idea what my destiny actually was.

Time passed and I was working as a fashion makeover producer on a popular television show. I loved my job, but I didn’t always agree with their work ethic. Most of the time, I could tolerate and justify it—the trade-off was that I was making a massive difference in women’s lives. Yet, when I was asked to turn a blind eye to something incredibly questionable, I couldn’t just stand idly by anymore and accept it. However, my protest fell on deaf ears.

Not willing to let it go, I made a final appeal via the fateful text. It was a miracle I wasn’t fired. Instead, a fair and right decision was made. I had won the battle, yet somehow, I had lost the war. Any enthusiasm I previously had for the production seemed to disappear after this day. I was no longer able to look the other way. My rose-colored glasses were lost, and it was time for me to move on.

Still in love with the idea of working in television, I felt my only option was to set my sights even higher: Oprah Winfrey higher. Go big or go home, I thought. Determined to get her attention and a job working for her, I wrote the most awe-inspiring cover letter I’d ever written, meticulously choosing every word to prove I was unmistakably an obvious choice.

Feeling proud of my work of art, I printed the letter to make one final check for mistakes. I couldn’t risk going unnoticed by a simple spelling error. Yet, the moment I held the letter, an uneasy, anxious feeling swept over me—a hesitation I’d never encountered before. I actually wondered if the confusing feelings were self-doubt. Didn’t I think I could get the job? I thought.

No way . . . you’re a self-professed Type A personality on overdrive, and you’ve never failed at anything you wanted, I bragged to myself.

Then why am I hesitating? Don’t I want the job? I apprehensively questioned. I sat for a few minutes and then an overwhelming rush of emotions came over, “OMG—I don’t!” I gasped aloud.

It was just that fast. In one split second, my overconfident swagger had quickly turned into devastating clarity. It was an unnerving and confusing feeling. If I didn’t want to work for Oprah, but I also unquestionably knew I couldn’t continue working where I was, what was I supposed to do now? More importantly, who was I supposed to be?

For the first time in my life, I didn’t have the answers and felt like a complete failure. It crushed me. In the months that followed, I began to isolate myself. I didn’t eat, I hardly slept, and I cried continuously. I had spiraled into a black hole and didn’t know how to find my way out. Then like a beacon of hope, an unexpected email hit my inbox. An old friend and mentor I hadn’t heard from in years asked to see me.

I was happy to hear from her but felt too depressed to meet. I decided to reply with a dismissive excuse. However, her persistent emails would eventually sway me, and I agreed to meet at her home. The moment she saw me, she knew something was wrong—even with my best attempt to hide my pain.

Before I knew it, I was confessing everything to her: the fateful text, the unsent cover letter, the devastating discovery, confusion, and sheer depression. She just listened.

Three emotional hours later, my friend decided it was my turn to listen. Compassionately, she acknowledged my pain. She told me she admired my determination and tenacity and had enjoyed watching me move from one successful career to the next, always in search of my great destiny, yet never finding it. Then very directly, she admitted she always felt like I’d missed looking in one very important place.

“Where?” I asked, completely oblivious to what she was referring to.

“Inside your heart,” she answered. “You’ve never stopped to ask yourself what you want or what your true passion is.”

“This breakdown, Heidi, is no more than a gift for you to finally discover what you’ve always been looking for,” she explained.

“I wouldn’t call what I’m going through a gift,” I wept, feeling very sorry for myself and deflated by her response. I also insisted I didn’t even know where to start.

“Give me a minute,” she answered and left the room. When she returned, she handed me a pad of paper and two blue pencils. Puzzled by the items, I asked what she expected me to do with them. “Start by getting to know yourself a little better. Make you a priority and schedule a meeting with yourself every week,” she explained.

I had journaled in the past, but I was unsure of my friend’s meeting advice. Yet, so desperate to feel better, I agreed to try it. The following Wednesday I met with myself for the first time. I actually wrote non-stop for an hour. My words were raw, painful, and incredibly vulnerable. I wrote about how angry I was at myself, my job, my life, and the overwhelming pressure I felt to make a difference. I questioned my confidence, my decisions, and most of all, I questioned Why me?

How is this supposed to be helping me? I cried to myself. The meeting had felt more like torture.

The following week, to avoid the same torment, I decided to eliminate any and all emotional thought. I was determined to keep it extremely professional. I created several pro/con lists, wrote about my likes and dislikes, and set numerous goals. It was a left-brain fiesta party that even my emotionally-driven right- brain enjoyed.

Huh. Maybe this could work, I smugly thought.

For weeks I continued the meetings. For some, I was able to keep them super organized, whereas others still fell off track and left me feeling emotionally weak again. Yet, something was changing. I started to notice that random conversations and opportunities began feeling more like coincidental messages, each one guiding me like signposts to understand who I was and what I was meant to do.

Then, as if the answer had always been there, I knew what I was supposed to do. It was unbelievably clear, and I couldn’t wait to tell someone.

“I feel I’m supposed to start a blog,” I confessed to my husband.

“Really?” A blog about what?” he asked, a little surprised by my announcement.

“I believe I’m meant to share my stories,” I answered, feeling really sure about my path.

“Cool! You have amazing stories. What are you going to call it?” he questioned, always being my biggest fan and supporter.

“I hadn’t really thought of a name,” I answered and looked down at my notepad for clues.

Surprisingly, three words immediately stood out like neon signs from random places on the paper. As I wrote the words on the bottom of the page, I said the name aloud, “Positive People Army.”

My husband chuckled, “Well, I didn’t expect to hear that. What’s the Positive People Army?”

As I stared at the words, an overwhelming rush of both fear and excitement took my breath away and made my skin tingle.

“Heidi, did you hear me? What’s the Positive People Army?” he asked again, trying to get my attention.

When I finally exhaled, I felt like I’d let go of a lifetime of holding my breath. It was unbelievably powerful and exhilarating. I felt awake.

“Are you okay?” Mike asked, looking a little confused by my reaction.

When I finally composed myself, I admitted to Mike I’d never been better. A few weeks later, I launched the Positive People Army blog with its first story. I still didn’t understand what the PPA was, but I had faith the answers would come.

In the coming months, hundreds of people found the website. It felt amazing to connect with so many people and to make a positive difference together. I felt alive. What I’ve come to learn is we are not born with a perfectly clear answer as to what our purpose is. It’s a struggle almost every person goes through—a struggle because we become so distracted by work, daily commitments, goals, and other people’s opinions. Our awareness of our unique life purpose is easily dimmed, leaving us feeling lost, lonely, unfulfilled, and depressed.

No matter how noisy the world gets or how hard the darkness seems, we need to remember there is always a small voice whispering. That voice is you, waiting to be heard and acknowledged. Just like Glenda, the Good Witch told Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, “You’ve always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”

I did eventually leave my job, and the Positive People Army has grown into an incredible positive movement. All because I chose to listen to my heart and my purpose, my destiny appeared. So, I ask all of you, are you ready to listen to that voice inside you? The world is waiting to hear.

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Getting stuck in the negatives (and how to get unstuck) | Alison Ledgerwood

Great insight on negative thinking and how to change it.. :)

Who is in charge of your emotions?

Everyone wants to enhance their quality of life. Everyone wants to be more fulfilled. But almost all of us get stuck at times in our limiting beliefs and emotional patterns. We make habits out of feeling frustrated, worried, sad or overwhelmed. But it is these disempowering habits that prevent us from doing what we are really capable of – even if that something is just being happy. 


While we cannot control the events that happen in our lives, we can master how we experience these events. People are always going to encounter stressful times. It could be losing a job, losing your health or even losing a loved one. Something happens that is outside our control, and it knocks us down. But stress, anger, sadness – these feelings don’t come from the facts, they come from the meaning that we give the facts. Of course, the terrible things that happen are real. But the question is, how are you going to allow that to shape your life? Are you going to let it tear you down, or are you going to use it to empower and enlighten the way you go through life?

It’s all about the meaning that you give the events and experiences of your life. Because when you come up with a new meaning, you can get a new perspective, and, ultimately, a new life.

THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES

We unconsciously decide what events and experiences in our life mean; we do it all the time, but may not be aware of it.

Take a downturn in the economy, for example. One person could interpret that as, “I’m going to be broke.” Another person, though, might say, “This means I’m going to work harder and I’m going to be more creative about saving.”

What do you think the outcome of this thought pattern will be for each of these individuals? Pretty different, right? Is it apparent why each will have very different approaches to life, and why each will experience very different emotions? That all comes from the meaning each person assigned to the event.

Now, let’s move to something a little more personal. Consider a woman who had been adopted as a baby. One path she could take is to devalue herself, to believe that because she was adopted, that she wasn’t good enough to be loved. She could also take the opposite approach, and consider the fact that someone chose her and chose to love her. What’s the significance of her decisions over what story to choose? How will this impact her decisions in her daily life? How will it affect her bigger decisions?

The former story creates a sense of loss, while the latter celebrates her life and her worth. And the story she chooses will impact her whole life – because the decisions that control us are the decisions about meaning, and meaning equals emotion.

TRADE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR APPRECIATION

If choosing the disempowering story sounds familiar, you aren’t alone. We all tell ourselves stories that make us miserable when we could be feeling joy. We make ourselves feel sad, worried, anxious, shameful, guilty, fearful and enraged on a consistent basis. Why? Because we are wired that way.

The human mind is always looking for what you could lose, what you could have less of or what you could never have. It might seem counterintuitive, but it’s a matter of survival and of protection. You are biologically wired to prepare yourself for the worst at all times. That is why it is up to you to take conscious control over the stories you tell yourself and the resulting emotions you experience.

The secret to doing this is to trade your expectations for appreciation. If you do this, your whole life will change in that moment. And if you keep doing it, your life will change forever.

Go back to the woman who was adopted. She had an expectation that her biological mother and father should have kept her. And that expectation could have tainted her entire life. But if she shifted her expectations to appreciation that somebody picked her consciously and loved her, without the obligation or the biological imperative to do so, her entire life would change. This is the power of trading expectations for appreciation.

TAKING BACK CONTROL

The choice is yours. What are you going to focus on? What story are you going to let guide your life? You get to choose what meaning to assign. This is the one power that you have right now in this moment that can change everything.

The only thing keeping you from getting what you want is yourself. The only thing keeping you from the joy you deserve is the disempowering story you keep telling yourself. But what if you decided right now to offer yourself a new core of belief? What if everything in your life, including the most painful and traumatic events, was happening for you, not to you? What if everything was designed for you to actually have a greater life and have more to give and more to enjoy?

If you want real freedom in your life, you must make a decision to stop allowing external events to shape your happiness. And that is only done by becoming the master of meaning and finding the empowering meaning in anything and everything that comes your way.

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