How To Prevent The Ageing Effects Of Stress...

Experiencing high levels of stress can make you age prematurely.

You probably know at least a few individuals who have experienced what they imagine to be highly stressful events – maybe a divorce, the loss of a loved one, a reduction in income, debt or the discovery of a serious health issue – that has accelerated their ageing processes quite rapidly.

“I remember a young man who found out that his mother had metastatic cancer. Within a few weeks he began growing a patch of white hair. It was quite amazing how quickly he went grey. I watched a 20-year-old girl find out she was pregnant, without knowing who the father was, and saw how she felt the pressure of the social and financial implications.”

There are a few sensible actions you can take to cope.

Coping with stress

So what can you do if you find yourself experiencing circumstances that feel emotionally distressing?

• Having a close friend or a professional to communicate with would be ideal.
• Meditation and stilling your mind to enable your inner solutions to arise can also assist. Exercising to channel off some extra tension will maybe assist temporarily.
• Making sure you eat quality, nutritious food during such times is certainly wise.

Also, ask yourself how your perceived stressful situation could serve or benefit you now and in the future?

To perceive only the negative side of the emotional equation and not even attempt to search for the accompanying positive side can further exacerbate the stress and keep you forever bound to the source of your stress.

Balance your perceptions

Balancing the equation can help dissolve this concentrated stress.

A balanced mind – seeing both the positive and negative side of things – offers the solution.

Ask yourself what the drawbacks would be if this emotionally stressful event had not occurred?

Sometimes we assume that our life would have been much
better if things would have turned out differently.

Sometimes people compare their present realities to falsely optimistic fantasies.

“Having unrealistic expectations about the world or yourself can add to your stress perceptions when life doesn’t match your ideal fantasy. Be sure your life expectations are balanced and realistic. Life offers a balance. One-sided events don’t occur.”

Since many stressful situations involve personal interactions with others, it’s wise to ask where and when you have participated in such an interaction with someone else who perceived you as being the source of their stress.

This question can humble you and make you think twice about unwisely judging others, since a lot of stress involves exaggerated judgments about others. Self-reflection is wise and honest introspection often reveals humbling histories. When you become reflective your expectations often become more realistic.

If someone is criticising or rejecting you, ask yourself where someone is simultaneously praising or accepting you, although maybe not within the same location.

This takes deep introspection, but it is worth it.

A great discovery is revealed when you take the time to honestly probe the initially unseen world that balances every event.

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Do Other People Make Us Feel Stressed?

Earlier on, whilst I was out in a populated area, I overheard someone say to another person that they "stressed them out". I had no idea why they said this to them, but there must have been a reason for it.

It would be easy to conclude that the other person was behaving in a way that was causing them to suffer. Based on this, the other person would need to change in order for them to feel more at peace

Powerless

So, unless the other person changes their behaviour in some way, their life is not going to change. There is then a strong chance that their life will end up getting even worse, causing them to experience even more stress.

It could be said that they will be a victim and the other person will be a perpetrator - one of them won't have any control, while the other one will. So, this is going to be something that is black and white.

The Norm

I don't know anything about this person, of course, but it is unlikely that there isn't anything that they can do to change what is going on. However, even though this is the case, it is not as if it is uncommon for someone to have this outlook in today's world.

This can be seen as what happens when someone has an external locust of control, which would cause them to believe that they have no control over their life. If, on the other hand, someone has an internal locust of control, they would believe that they have control over their life.

A Choice

Someone like this would look into why they feel stressed, allowing them to do something about it. They might see that what is taking place in their mind is causing them to feel stressed.

Therefore, by changing how they think about what is taking place, it will give them the chance to feel more at peace. Along with this, they may see that their behaviour is playing a par, too.

A Different Identity

When someone responds in this way when they feel stressed, they are unlikely to see themselves a victim. They will be able to see that they can act like a victim, but that this is just a role.

The view that they have of themselves will be what allows them to take responsibility for their life, as opposed to blaming other people for what they experience. Being this way is going to be far better for their health and overall fulfilment.

Final Thoughts

The main point here is that if someone feels stressed, it will be vital for them to look into what they can do to settle themselves down. Staying as they are and blaming someone or something else is not going to solve anything.

What they need to do will depend on what is going on for them - it might be case of changing their thinking or no longer spending time with someone. Meditating on a regular basis may also help.

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12 Steps to Tranquility in a Rapidly Changing World

Make sure you do "me time" on a regular basis. Go ahead and be a bit selfish to love yourself enough to award you ten minutes to an hour a day. Engage in an activity you enjoy that takes your mind of work or any other stressors that may be present in your life. Your sanity will thank you... profusely!

Stay organized as often as possible. Try to maintain an organized work area. Trying to sift through mounds of documents in an instant is stressful. Lost or misplaced items contribute to emotional stress when you need them right away.

Change your environment. Ambiance is everything! Get away from people or situations that bring stress to your day. A few moments walking in the park can do wonders for those seeking relief from stress.

Read! It's free so pick up a magazine, crossword puzzle or newspaper and find an article that captivates you.

Give yourself a tasty treat! It's OK to take solace in a sweet treat. Indulging yourself every so often. I call these a "stress be gone" moment. A hot cup of tea, cocoa or an ice cream sundae on occasion can do wonders! So help yourself to a sweet treat!

Find a hobby. Whether you like to do jigsaw puzzles, put together model planes or collect antiques, a hobby does wonders to combat stress. It's a great way to relax while learning more about the things that interest you.

Embrace Your Spirituality. A study published on WebMD.com revealed that people who engage in religious activity (such as prayer or scripture reading) had a positive effect on the participants by lowering their blood pressure. 

GET ENOUGH SLEEP! When you're exhausted you will not be able to combat stress... period. In addition, nobody wants to be around you if you're grumpy.

Eat right. If you starve your body of proper nutrients, over time your brain doesn't function efficiently and for those of you who are not aware of this coffee is NOT a major food group. Give yourself the chance to operate at one hundred percent capacity everyday.

Work out. Endorphins are released when you exercise. They create feelings of euphoria while lowering stress. It's like nature's natural high!

Turn off the electronics! You don't have to be on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn twenty-four hours a day. Amazing as this may seem, the social media machine can survive without you for awhile. Turn off your laptop, phone, tablet or desktop pc and embrace an atmosphere of tranquility. I usually do this after dinner and leave them off until the next morning.

Bonus step. What is the bonus step? The bonus step is that you'll feel brand new if you habitually implement the first eleven which makes the entire list worth it!

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Do You Always Procrastinate? This Trick Will End That Habit Once And For All.

Love this. Great advice and insight on procrastination and how to beat it!

Who is in charge of your emotions?

Everyone wants to enhance their quality of life. Everyone wants to be more fulfilled. But almost all of us get stuck at times in our limiting beliefs and emotional patterns. We make habits out of feeling frustrated, worried, sad or overwhelmed. But it is these disempowering habits that prevent us from doing what we are really capable of – even if that something is just being happy. 


While we cannot control the events that happen in our lives, we can master how we experience these events. People are always going to encounter stressful times. It could be losing a job, losing your health or even losing a loved one. Something happens that is outside our control, and it knocks us down. But stress, anger, sadness – these feelings don’t come from the facts, they come from the meaning that we give the facts. Of course, the terrible things that happen are real. But the question is, how are you going to allow that to shape your life? Are you going to let it tear you down, or are you going to use it to empower and enlighten the way you go through life?

It’s all about the meaning that you give the events and experiences of your life. Because when you come up with a new meaning, you can get a new perspective, and, ultimately, a new life.

THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES

We unconsciously decide what events and experiences in our life mean; we do it all the time, but may not be aware of it.

Take a downturn in the economy, for example. One person could interpret that as, “I’m going to be broke.” Another person, though, might say, “This means I’m going to work harder and I’m going to be more creative about saving.”

What do you think the outcome of this thought pattern will be for each of these individuals? Pretty different, right? Is it apparent why each will have very different approaches to life, and why each will experience very different emotions? That all comes from the meaning each person assigned to the event.

Now, let’s move to something a little more personal. Consider a woman who had been adopted as a baby. One path she could take is to devalue herself, to believe that because she was adopted, that she wasn’t good enough to be loved. She could also take the opposite approach, and consider the fact that someone chose her and chose to love her. What’s the significance of her decisions over what story to choose? How will this impact her decisions in her daily life? How will it affect her bigger decisions?

The former story creates a sense of loss, while the latter celebrates her life and her worth. And the story she chooses will impact her whole life – because the decisions that control us are the decisions about meaning, and meaning equals emotion.

TRADE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR APPRECIATION

If choosing the disempowering story sounds familiar, you aren’t alone. We all tell ourselves stories that make us miserable when we could be feeling joy. We make ourselves feel sad, worried, anxious, shameful, guilty, fearful and enraged on a consistent basis. Why? Because we are wired that way.

The human mind is always looking for what you could lose, what you could have less of or what you could never have. It might seem counterintuitive, but it’s a matter of survival and of protection. You are biologically wired to prepare yourself for the worst at all times. That is why it is up to you to take conscious control over the stories you tell yourself and the resulting emotions you experience.

The secret to doing this is to trade your expectations for appreciation. If you do this, your whole life will change in that moment. And if you keep doing it, your life will change forever.

Go back to the woman who was adopted. She had an expectation that her biological mother and father should have kept her. And that expectation could have tainted her entire life. But if she shifted her expectations to appreciation that somebody picked her consciously and loved her, without the obligation or the biological imperative to do so, her entire life would change. This is the power of trading expectations for appreciation.

TAKING BACK CONTROL

The choice is yours. What are you going to focus on? What story are you going to let guide your life? You get to choose what meaning to assign. This is the one power that you have right now in this moment that can change everything.

The only thing keeping you from getting what you want is yourself. The only thing keeping you from the joy you deserve is the disempowering story you keep telling yourself. But what if you decided right now to offer yourself a new core of belief? What if everything in your life, including the most painful and traumatic events, was happening for you, not to you? What if everything was designed for you to actually have a greater life and have more to give and more to enjoy?

If you want real freedom in your life, you must make a decision to stop allowing external events to shape your happiness. And that is only done by becoming the master of meaning and finding the empowering meaning in anything and everything that comes your way.

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The Most Important Question to Always Ask: Does It Help Me Achieve My Goals?

Why do so many people not get what they want out of life?

Why do so many people find themselves falling into jobs they don't really want? Or living places that don't make them happy? Or with lifestyles that they find stressful?

How does someone go from dreaming of being a rock star, to being locked in an office to enter data onto a spreadsheet?

Well, there are many factors. But it usually starts by not clearly defining your goals or what you want. Because until you know exactly what it is you actually want, how can you possibly expect to get it?

That means it isn't good enough to decide you want to be 'rich', you need to know what you want to do to become rich. What kind of work you enjoy, how many hours you're willing to work etc.

Likewise, if you hope to become a rock star, then you might want to think about how you actually intend to make that happen. What does being a 'rock star' entail for you and how are you going to make it happen? What would you settle for?

And when you make all these decisions, you need to ensure that this is truly what you're passionate about - that your intended goal is something that you enjoy thinking about, enjoy working on and can't wait to make a reality.

The Simple Way to Make Decisions

The reason this is all so important, is that it will then allow you to make all your future decisions that much more easily. This is going to act like your barometer and your road map, to help you to get to the end destination that you want.

Now, whenever you find yourself making a decision, the question to ask is: does it help you achieve your goals?

So for instance, if you're umming and ahing over buying an expensive piece of equipment, then the simplest way to decide if it is a good idea or not is to ask if it will help you to accomplish your goals. Likewise, if you're unsure about where to live, or whether you should take a particular job opportunity, ask whether the decision is going to take you nearer or further from your goals.

The problem with many people who aren't quite sure what they want, is that their objectives end up on a kind of back burner and that other things seem to start getting in the way.

But if you really want to achieve something amazing - if you have a dream business idea that you really want to make happen - then you need to make this your priority and you need to change the way you think about everything else.

And it shouldn't feel like a sacrifice either. Because if you really love what you're working toward then it will mean fully embracing the thing you really want to be doing anyway. You just need to find what that passion is...

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Busting the Myth of Multitasking

How to become more productive at work without burning out

Do you feel like you’re constantly busy at work? Do you spend all day completing tasks but still leave the office feeling that you haven’t accomplished anything? As Tony Robbins says, “Most people mistake movement for achievement.”

Instead of being obsessed with filling your calendar with activities, you must begin focusing on your desired outcomes at work and going after those goals in an effective, productive way. Adapt these dynamic solutions into your everyday routine, and you’ll accomplish more in the office and feel more fulfilled in your career.

Focus on what’s important

How many times each day are you interrupted at work? Some of these interruptions come from your own boredom — that’s why you’re browsing the Internet and checking your social media accounts. But there are other distractions that you have less control over, like responding to emails and attending meetings. One way to combat the seemingly endless stream of distractions you face at work is to focus each morning on what you can achieve that day. You can calculate your productivity by writing out what you did the previous day with an estimate on how long the task took. Include everything from when you woke up, what you did at work (including any distraction breaks) and what you did after work. This will give you a clear picture regarding what your day typically looks like. Look for items that carry into the next day, as well as any surprise items someone else asked you to do.

Once you realize which tasks needs to be done, think about why they need to be worked on, or what purpose they have in the overall scheme of things. You want to move ahead at your company. You also know you have a big presentation for a client coming up. What’s the outcome of delivering a great presentation? You’ll show your boss you are an ambitious, knowledgeable team member, and you’ll potentially win over a new client, which could ultimately lead to a promotion.

Then, cut down on the distractions you have control over. If you know you need to spend an hour working on your presentation, then you can’t spend 30 minutes browsing Facebook. Thinking about what drives your work will enable you to feel more focused on the things you need to accomplish.

Use effective time management solutions

There are productivity tools and resources that will enable you to become a master of your schedule.  Chunking is one effective method that can help you improve productivity. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by the many tasks currently on your agenda, look at your schedule and see which items can be grouped together based on similar desired outcomes. Group together the items that will yield similar results. By sorting your activities into more actionable items, you minimize the length of your to-do list and makes the day ahead feel less overwhelming.

For instance, if you know you have to draft and respond to multiple emails to your colleagues and also set up a meeting with your manager via Outlook, chunk these items together. If there are things you need to handle after work, like picking up your dry cleaning, going to the grocery store, feeding your kids dinner and getting some exercise in, see if there’s a way you can put tasks together. Can you pick up a ready-to-eat dinner at the store while you get your groceries? Can you ride your bike to the dry cleaner in order to achieve your fitness goals? Categorizing tasks based on outcome and dealing with them all at once will make you feel more organized and help improve productivity.

Know when to say “no”

The most successful people in the world aren’t the ones who try to take on everything — they’re masters of time management who know what they should be investing their time in. You want to be viewed as helpful and productive at work, so you often say “Yes” to whatever’s asked of you. But over time, you’ll find you have too much on your plate. This creates stress and takes your focus away from the things you could be working on. Learn how to say “No” when a task doesn’t fit into your schedule.

Additionally, identify tasks that are necessary but aren’t helping you grow. Can you delegate these tasks to someone else at the office? By taking control of your time and dedicating it to essential items, you’ll learn how to cultivate productivity.

Build better habits

Lastly, it’s important to identify bad habits and work to build positive ones. If you know that you work better in the evenings, sleep longer in the mornings and stay at the office longer at night. Do you find that your brain functions better after exercising? Set your alarm early and hit the gym before heading into work. When you know what it takes for you to feel fulfilled and productive at work, try to cultivate the habits that allow you to feel that way. Identify the activities that make you feel powerful and productive, and allow yourself to do them as often as possible. Part of building good habits also includes taking breaks when needed. As much as you’d like to stay at the office all day, you can’t effectively work without regularly resting and recharging.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed at work and stressed out by the sheer number of tasks on your plate, it’s time for a change. You can start by asking yourself the following question.

“How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?”  
Then, assess which habits enable you to increase your output while not overloading your schedule and keep working toward your goals.

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