You Can Oppose What You're Experiencing or Create a Better Outcome

Create Space Between Your Problems And Your Thoughts

What is troubling you in your life right now? Has it been occupying your time and energy? Sometimes, no sooner than we have dealt with an issue, another one emerges and we wonder when it will ever end. What is going on that we keep experiencing problems and resistance? Are they real problems or an opportunity to heal aspects of our life that need attention? I realise these questions may be difficult to answer in the short space of this article, however if we don't make time to examine our lives, we're likely to be drawn into the chaos and drama. There are many reasons problems occur. Some of them relate to childhood wounds, while other times problems arise because of other people's actions imposed upon us. Whether it is intrinsic or extrinsic forces, problems force us to pay attention to what is taking place within us.

Do you believe challenges occur for no clear reason or because there are greater lessons embedded in the experience? Your answer will dictate whether you stay mired in your problems or see them as vital clues to your life's purpose. Often, our first impressions are not truthful because we're responding to the chaos instead of what needs to be attended to. Have you noticed this before? For example, I've observed this theme in my life and now wait for a clearer picture to unfold before overreacting. Most times, what I believed was a problem turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Can you relate to this with a recent experience? What we're responding to is what psychologists call catastrophising, depicted in our response when we receive a speeding ticket. However, if we step back from the drama, we might realise we were rushing about our lives and need to slow down to the speed of life.

What we need is to create space between our problems and our thoughts. It's hard to distance ourselves because fear and other disempowering emotions have a way of convincing us things are worse off than they seem. As you know, this is one way of looking at it but it is not what is taking place. It might be helpful to consult with those you trust such as loved ones and ask for an unbiased perspective. It's easy to get caught up in our problems and soon enough we're seized by it, without solving it. Nowadays, when problems emerge, I will consult a few close friends whom I trust with their opinion. I reflect upon their advice and allow myself some space to consider the problem from a different perspective. This allows me to engage my creative brain to find a perfect solution when I least expect it.

Take Consistent Action, Even The Smallest One

Have you experienced this: where you forgot about a pressing issue and while taking a shower or during a walk, the perfect solution emerged? This is testament that opposing our problems seldom yields a solution. This is because opposing and reacting to something limits our potential to solve the problem. We perceive it through one lens instead of a multitude of possibilities. There are infinite possibilities to solve your problems and I know you may find it hard to believe, especially when the problem is consuming you. Distancing yourself from it will help you gain a greater perspective of what action you need to take. Are you feeling better about this? Can you see how when problems arise we may not need to take any action unless it is warranted? Perhaps the issue relates to our own thinking and we must clear out our thoughts before attending to the problem itself. Consider the advice of author and Jungian analyst James Hollis who writes in What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life: "Ask yourself of every dilemma, every choice, every relationship, every commitment, or every failure to commit, "Does this choice diminish me, or enlarge me?" That is, are your choices empowering you or contracting you?

Finally, we ought to focus on small improvements when faced with problems since this is the gateway to greater solutions. For example, you may find you gained weight over the Christmas holidays and find it difficult to get back to your routine of healthy eating and exercise. Subsequently, the more you focus on it, the angrier you become. What if you made the tiniest of improvements every day such as walking around the block or eating half a candy bar instead of a full one? What I'm alluding to, is that taking consistent action, however small, creates waves of momentum to overcome our inertia. Considering this, reflect on the problem I asked you about earlier and come up with three strategies to tackle it. Don't think big, think small. What is the smallest action you can take every day to solve it? Once you've come up with three solutions, choose one you can commit to and begin it at once. Doing something small can help us feel better than trying to find a grand solution that may take weeks or months. After all, if we continue to resist our problems, we leave little room for an improved outcome, when all along it may have been staring us in the face.

Source

HEAL: The Feeling Creates the Healing w/ Dr Joe Dispenza

What Is "Prosperity" Thinking and How Do I Think That Way?

The Google dictionary definition of prosperity is "the state of being prosperous". Synonyms listed with the definition include profitability, affluence, wealth, opulence, luxury, the good life, milk, and honey, (good) fortune, ease, plenty, comfort, security, well-being, for example, "she deserves all the prosperity she now enjoys."

While the definitions and many in society use "prosperity" as a reference to financial riches and gains. There is a related school of thought that widens the framework of prosperity to not just be "prosperous" financially, but to include a way of being, called "prosperity thinking or mindset". This is talking about the ability to view your whole life through a lens of prosperity in your thinking. This is significant because research has shown a great majority of a humans thought is negative, which is the opposite of prosperity thinking. There is a variety of research showing negative thinking is more natural to the human being, which would mean prosperity/positive thinking and thought is not natural to the human being.

- 80% human thoughts per day are negative (2)
- our attitudes are more heavily influenced by bad news than good news (3)
- in the English dictionary, 62% are negative emotional words vs. only 32% positive words (4)
- 75-98% of mental and physical illnesses come from our thought life! (1)

In my years of study, learning and working in personal growth and development, psychology, counselling and coaching, there are a few concepts that come to the top to help you shift your thinking to a more prosperous mind. The value of this is not only positive to your mood and inner wellbeing but affects you physically and ripples into the rest of your life (actions and attraction). Some might find the topic of positive psychology to feel "fluffy", "rosy thinking" or unrealistic, however, when people find themselves surrounded by negativity, depressed, stuck and constantly fighting "funks", these simple practices can change their life.

While simple, on one hand, these are multifaceted "practices" to develop and master in your life. There are books that dive deeper into the topic, but for the sake of introduction, here are three components I have found to be key to developing and growing your prosperous mind.

1. Growth or Fixed Thinking. To have a prosperous mind - you want to have GROWTH THINKING vs. FIXED THINKING. This concept is more commonly taught in the academic and education world, however, it is a foundation of learning and a core way of thinking, learning and growing that applies to our entire life. Mindsetworks is a site that explains the origin of this concept. Dr. Carol Dweck, a Stanford professor, studied thousands of children and coined the term "fixed" and "growth" mindset to describe the underlying beliefs people have about learning and intelligence. When students were encouraged in growth thinking ("learning is my goal" "effort makes me stronger") their scores and results improved. In contrast, those who have fixed thinking, focus on their limitations and can even be a victim of the skills and talents they believe they do or do not have without any control to make themselves better. This is a great YouTube to explain how it works:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75GFzikmRY0

2. Abundance vs. Scarcity. To have a Prosperity Mindset, look at what IS POSSIBLE vs. what IS NOT POSSIBLE. Abundance says there is enough and there is plenty, it trusts that whatever is has perfection to it. It creates contentment and confidence of acceptance to see the value and benefit of what is. Scarcity focuses on what we do not have and that there is not enough. It creates a fear of the lack and generates a panic to take or get because there will not be enough or I might not have enough. Because of our negative natural human wiring, it is natural to see the world and life from a sacristy perspective. For example, two children are sharing and think, if I don't get the toy I want now, I might not get it. As an adult, if you don't get a job you apply for, scarcity worries, I won't get a job or did poorly. The difference is an abundance mindset, which has similarities or overlaps with the growth mindset sees it differently. Abundance knows I will have time with the toy sometime. Abundance knows if I keep trying I will get the right job at the right time. To me, abundance vs scarcity is about trust vs. fear.

3. Unattachment vs. attachment. Lastly, unattachment is the ability to let something go and if it is meant to be it will come back. Attachment is one way of seeing, thinking and doing something. Usually, attachment is being attached to my way. I have a preconceived idea of how it has to go and look and if it does not happen that way, I see it as failure. Unattachment sets goals and has visions but is open to how things might evolve or unfold. That does not mean getting off course or ten directions, it just means being flexible to possibilities and opportunities as they present themselves and being open enough to recognize them even though they might not have been what you expected. For example, you really want a job at Apple, but do not get it. You are given the opportunity to volunteer at the high school and help with the tech club, which would be an opportunity to do something connected to your goal and create connections that would help you achieve your goal in the future. Often even better opportunities than we can imagine present themselves. This is about your attitude.

Prosperity Thinking = Growth Mindset + Prosperity Perspective + Unattachment (what can I learn and how can I grow + what is possible and what can I do + open to what happens without rules, limits or demands on how that evolves).

A good way to test your thinking is to write your goals and then 5 thoughts about your goals. Put them through the filter and make sure they are growth-minded, have a prosperity perspective and surrender attachments. If the thoughts are more fixed, scarcity and attached, make a T chart and write the positive perspective on the other side. You can begin to train your thinking and shift the way you believe, think and respond to the world. The benefits will not only bring more joy and energy to your life, but the impact you have on others will be noticeable and significant as well.

____

1. There is brain research in how our thinking affects our behavior, in fact, Dr. Leaf, a leader in human brain research says, "You Are What You Think: 75-98% of Mental and Physical Illnesses Come from our Thought Life!" https://drleaf.com/blog/you-are-what-you-think-75-98-of-mental-and-physical-illnesses-come-from-our-thought-life/

2. "In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article regarding research about human thoughts per day. The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before and about 80% are negative." By Faith, Hope & Psychology "80 of Thoughts Are Negative... 95 Are Repetitive"

3. & 4. "Paul Rozin and Edward Royzman showed in their research that the negative perspective is more contagious than the positive perspective. A study by John Cacioppo and his colleagues showed that our attitudes are more heavily influenced by bad news than good news. Other researchers analyzed language to study negativity bias. For example, there are more negative emotional words (62 percent) than positive words (32 percent) in the English dictionary." (Psychology Today, "Are We Hardwired To Be Positive or Negative")

Source

Tony Robbins: How to Control Your Mind (very motivational)

One to keep on the playlist?

Who is in charge of your emotions?

Everyone wants to enhance their quality of life. Everyone wants to be more fulfilled. But almost all of us get stuck at times in our limiting beliefs and emotional patterns. We make habits out of feeling frustrated, worried, sad or overwhelmed. But it is these disempowering habits that prevent us from doing what we are really capable of – even if that something is just being happy. 


While we cannot control the events that happen in our lives, we can master how we experience these events. People are always going to encounter stressful times. It could be losing a job, losing your health or even losing a loved one. Something happens that is outside our control, and it knocks us down. But stress, anger, sadness – these feelings don’t come from the facts, they come from the meaning that we give the facts. Of course, the terrible things that happen are real. But the question is, how are you going to allow that to shape your life? Are you going to let it tear you down, or are you going to use it to empower and enlighten the way you go through life?

It’s all about the meaning that you give the events and experiences of your life. Because when you come up with a new meaning, you can get a new perspective, and, ultimately, a new life.

THE STORIES WE TELL OURSELVES

We unconsciously decide what events and experiences in our life mean; we do it all the time, but may not be aware of it.

Take a downturn in the economy, for example. One person could interpret that as, “I’m going to be broke.” Another person, though, might say, “This means I’m going to work harder and I’m going to be more creative about saving.”

What do you think the outcome of this thought pattern will be for each of these individuals? Pretty different, right? Is it apparent why each will have very different approaches to life, and why each will experience very different emotions? That all comes from the meaning each person assigned to the event.

Now, let’s move to something a little more personal. Consider a woman who had been adopted as a baby. One path she could take is to devalue herself, to believe that because she was adopted, that she wasn’t good enough to be loved. She could also take the opposite approach, and consider the fact that someone chose her and chose to love her. What’s the significance of her decisions over what story to choose? How will this impact her decisions in her daily life? How will it affect her bigger decisions?

The former story creates a sense of loss, while the latter celebrates her life and her worth. And the story she chooses will impact her whole life – because the decisions that control us are the decisions about meaning, and meaning equals emotion.

TRADE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR APPRECIATION

If choosing the disempowering story sounds familiar, you aren’t alone. We all tell ourselves stories that make us miserable when we could be feeling joy. We make ourselves feel sad, worried, anxious, shameful, guilty, fearful and enraged on a consistent basis. Why? Because we are wired that way.

The human mind is always looking for what you could lose, what you could have less of or what you could never have. It might seem counterintuitive, but it’s a matter of survival and of protection. You are biologically wired to prepare yourself for the worst at all times. That is why it is up to you to take conscious control over the stories you tell yourself and the resulting emotions you experience.

The secret to doing this is to trade your expectations for appreciation. If you do this, your whole life will change in that moment. And if you keep doing it, your life will change forever.

Go back to the woman who was adopted. She had an expectation that her biological mother and father should have kept her. And that expectation could have tainted her entire life. But if she shifted her expectations to appreciation that somebody picked her consciously and loved her, without the obligation or the biological imperative to do so, her entire life would change. This is the power of trading expectations for appreciation.

TAKING BACK CONTROL

The choice is yours. What are you going to focus on? What story are you going to let guide your life? You get to choose what meaning to assign. This is the one power that you have right now in this moment that can change everything.

The only thing keeping you from getting what you want is yourself. The only thing keeping you from the joy you deserve is the disempowering story you keep telling yourself. But what if you decided right now to offer yourself a new core of belief? What if everything in your life, including the most painful and traumatic events, was happening for you, not to you? What if everything was designed for you to actually have a greater life and have more to give and more to enjoy?

If you want real freedom in your life, you must make a decision to stop allowing external events to shape your happiness. And that is only done by becoming the master of meaning and finding the empowering meaning in anything and everything that comes your way.

Source