The Surprisingly Simple Way To Fix Self-Doubt According To UK’s #1 Therapist

Legendary transformational hypnotherapist, Marisa Peer, shares three powerful words that have literally changed the lives of tens of thousands of the Mindvalley tribe.

Her past clients include Royalty, Olympic Athletes, Hollywood A-Listers and CEOs of huge companies, but her vision isn’t exclusive to just celebrities.

According to Marisa, named the Best British therapist by Tatler and Men’s Health magazines, all our trauma and difficulties can be boiled down to the belief that we’re not enough.

And all it takes to remove that belief is three simple words.

When Marisa first spoke at Mindvalley’s A-Fest, these three words started a viral movement within our community. People started writing them in lipstick on their mirrors, they wrote them on sticky notes around the house, set them as screensavers on their phones and laptops, some even tattooed them on their bodies!

The words?

I Am Enough.

By constantly reminding yourself of these three words, and consistently programming them into your subconscious, you will see dramatic improvements in your self-esteem and outlook on life.


Source

Have a Little Faith in Yourself - Transforming "I Can't" Into "I CAN"

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Have you ever actually heard yourself complaining about how you can't do something?

I have... and it wasn't pretty. But it certainly made for a funny story!

In fact, I created a presentation based on said funny story and delivered it recently at a women's networking event. The talk was well-received (and everybody laughed at the funny part) but I rather surprised myself in the question and answer period afterwards.

My presentation was called, "The Electric Jello Story - Turning I Can't Into I Can... and I Will."

The first part of my talk was a rather sordid tale from my party days about a bachelorette gone awry. I had overindulged in some electric jello shooters and had been sent home from the bar early. But when the girls tried to awaken me from my drunken slumber in the wee hours of the morning (so that I could buzz them up to the apartment) I wanted no part of being woken up, thank you very much.

Nor could I seem to figure out which button to push on the silly intercom to let them in the foyer.

Unfortunately, my repeated wails of "I can't" (in the most whining and pathetic tone imaginable) was recorded on the answering machine. Much to my chagrin, the girls played the tape back to me the next morning.

It was awful. But to this day, I can still hear how dreadful I sounded!

Anyway, in the second part of my presentation, I told the story of the conversation I'd had with my husband the day before he died. I'd said to him: "I am so scared I am going to wake up 20 years from now and still not have finished writing a book."

To which he'd responded: "You're probably right about that... just as long as you know that will have been your choice."

Tough words, yes. But in all fairness, after 12 years of being together, I think the poor guy had run out of patience listening to me whine and complain about not having the time or money to write. For more than a decade, I'd used every excuse in the book as to why I couldn't make my writing a priority.

"I'll show him!" I'd said to myself, after dropping him off at work that night. I promised myself I would wake up early the next morning and do an hour of writing before going into work at my clerical job.

But when the alarm clock went off the next morning, what did I do? I pushed snooze. "I can't get up," I told myself (in a whiny, pathetic voice). "I'm too tired to write."

When I finally hauled my butt out of bed, after pushing the snooze button multiple times, there wasn't any time to write. In fact, there was barely time for me to get to work.

And when I did arrive at work, my whole life changed in an instant. John died that day. And I got the wake-up call of all wake-up calls about the danger of waiting for a tragedy to awaken us to the importance of achieving our dreams.

Two weeks after his death, I started writing what would become my book, A Widow's Awakening. It took me 8 years to get it - and me - where it needed to be. But I did it.

After I finished my presentation at the women's networking event, we had an impromptu Q&A, and the host asked me this question:

"If there was just one word to describe what you think is THE most important thing in terms of transforming "I can't" into "I can," what would it be?"

I thought about this for a moment and then a single word popped into my mind.

"Faith," I heard myself say to the group. "But not faith in the traditional way we often think of faith, as in having faith in some sort of divine guidance or a religious belief."

"I'm talking about faith in one's self." I continued. "I think it is absolutely imperative that we have faith in ourselves and our ability to achieve what it is we really want to achieve. Because if we don't have that, then all the divine help and spiritual guidance in the world can't help us."

Likewise with our mortal supporters.

John believed in my potential as a writer and did everything he could to encourage me to take concrete action towards meeting my goals i.e. get my butt in the chair and WRITE.

But at the end of the day, taking action was my responsibility. That was a very difficult life lesson to learn in the wake of such an immense loss.

If we don't have faith in ourselves that we can - and will - step up to the plate, each and every day, and do the work that needs to be done, then the support and encouragement of our loved ones, as well as any sort of divine guidance we may believe is available to us, won't be of much use.

And for the record, I DO believe there is a tremendous amount of spiritual assistance just waiting in the wings to help guide us... sending us all sorts of signs and signals. We just need to a) pay attention and b) take action. I suspect, however, that those other forces don't require our faith.

Source

Okay, so you messed up. Now what?

Okay. So you did something wrong. Maybe you made a social blunder; maybe you carried out some task and failed. In short: You messed up.

For people with low confidence, failure can be downright devastating.

I know. Because I used to be ashamed of things I did or said. All the time.

And I’m not talking about calmly realizing one’s wrongdoing and immediately learning from it. I’m talking an involuntary panic-anxiety-attack-like-muscle-spasms-complete-with-grinding-teeth-and-making-noises sorta sensation.

With an inner voice going like: "Screw you! You messed up, and you're useless! You're unable to do anything right, and you should be locked away! You messed up, and that's all you're ever gonna do!"

Every day, several times.

And it doesn’t even have to be something big. It could be a misused word, a social faux pas… anything.

When non-fident people react drastically to making any kind of mistake, it’s because non-fidence is often accompanied by low self-esteem, perfectionism, and insecurity.

When we have low self-esteem, we tend to judge ourselves more vigorously than we would our peers. If we don’t like ourselves, we’re hard on ourselves. Simple as that.

But moreover, if we don’t allow for ourselves to make mistakes, we develop perfectionism. Which, in turn, makes it seem so much worse to us when we do make a mistake. — Or even do something in a manner less than "perfect". (Which, as I’ve written about before, is a BS notion.)

And then there’s the insecurity, which doesn’t allow for much space for mistakes, nor for even trying. This is governed by the amygdala — the reptilian part of our brain — most commonly known for our "fight or flight" mechanism.

See, amongst our primitive ancestors, social identity was way more important than today. Dangers were all around. If you messed up something, it could get you expelled from your tribe and thrown out into the wilderness on your own.

All of this perfectly illustrates the dangerous downward spiral of non-fidence. If we have low regard for ourselves we make less space for ourselves to make mistakes. This, in turn, causes making mistakes to be even more likely, which, then, will only lead to much more self-loathing and shame.

Because we DO make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. We know this perfectly well, yet tend to act like we’re the only flawed person alive.

But here’s the kicker:
Confident people make WAY many more mistakes than less confident people.

The more confident you are, the less regard you give to other people’s opinion about you. The higher you think of yourself, the less you worry about making mistakes. You know perfectly well that your rights outnumber your wrongs. You know perfectly well that you’re able to learn from your mistakes.

Indeed, if you don’t make mistakes, you can never learn. And if you don’t learn, you don’t grow.

In other words:
For every time you messed up something in life, you had the opportunity to learn, grow, and prevent yourself from making the same mistake again.

So get out there and mess up. Badly. Learn, improve, repeat. And as you learn and grow, watch as your confidence grows with you.

ACTION ITEM:

The next time you're embarrassed about something, use the following method:

- Stop what you're doing.
- Breathe. Ten long, deep breaths.
- Think. Realize that whatever negative response on your part are merely thoughts, and that they're not necessarily true, constructive or favourable.
- Choose how you want to feel about what happened. Do you genuinely want to be ashamed? Or would you rather accept, learn, and grow?

The choice is yours.
Source

What's Stopping You? Getting Rid of the Barriers

Often people tell me of unfulfilled dreams that they wish could have been realized. My first response is that it is never too late to chase a goal. My second response is to try to find out what has been and continues to stop them!

What would you tell me about you? Are you:
1. Insecure - People who are afraid rarely start anything because they figure that they will fail. In fact, they are defeated before they even get to the starting blocks. Old messages from childhood can interfere with their confidence and immobilize their actions. If you are feeling insecure, find a mentor who has found success in the field where you wish to achieve. Take time to gain knowledge. Soon you will be ready to take a step forward.

2. Overwhelmed - Sometimes life seems too difficult and instead of taking action, people freeze. A project can seem to be so big that there is no end in sight. Start by breaking the task down into small, manageable pieces. Do you want to downsize? Try removing one item from the house every day. In thirty days you have removed thirty items. After a year there will be three hundred and sixty-five less things in your surroundings.

3. Lazy - Those who focus on luxuriating, live with negative consequences in the long-run. When you neglect your career, family, friends and home, you will lose your support and security over time. Begin by making a list of all the things that you value and beside each write at least one thing that you need to do this week to protect them.

4. Hurting - Every person on earth has had at least one deep hurt in life. Some people give up and become victims who are not willing to do anything positive to heal to move forward. Others use their pain to help other people. I have heard some people say that time heals. I really don't believe that. Some people hold onto their trauma for decades and never let go! Get professional help when you are stuck!

5. Procrastinating - Do you have great ideas that you never germinate? Are you the person who has advise for other people that you never follow yourself? You likely know the answers to the situation that you are facing but tend to put off enacting them. No one will do the work for you, so it is time to get started. All talk and no action mean you are dead in the water when it comes to progress.

6. Committed - Do you have a goal and a plan to help you achieve it? Are you willing to try even if you don't succeed at first? Would you be willing to study in order to learn strategies that will bring good results? Who do you know who would be willing to encourage and teach you?

Here's the good news. No matter where you fall on the list, you can change and soon you will be able to replace your regret with success!

Source