Don't Allow Your Life To Be Controlled By These 5 Things

Tony Robbins Tips On Changing The Way You Feel

What's Stopping You? Getting Rid of the Barriers

Often people tell me of unfulfilled dreams that they wish could have been realized. My first response is that it is never too late to chase a goal. My second response is to try to find out what has been and continues to stop them!

What would you tell me about you? Are you:
1. Insecure - People who are afraid rarely start anything because they figure that they will fail. In fact, they are defeated before they even get to the starting blocks. Old messages from childhood can interfere with their confidence and immobilize their actions. If you are feeling insecure, find a mentor who has found success in the field where you wish to achieve. Take time to gain knowledge. Soon you will be ready to take a step forward.

2. Overwhelmed - Sometimes life seems too difficult and instead of taking action, people freeze. A project can seem to be so big that there is no end in sight. Start by breaking the task down into small, manageable pieces. Do you want to downsize? Try removing one item from the house every day. In thirty days you have removed thirty items. After a year there will be three hundred and sixty-five less things in your surroundings.

3. Lazy - Those who focus on luxuriating, live with negative consequences in the long-run. When you neglect your career, family, friends and home, you will lose your support and security over time. Begin by making a list of all the things that you value and beside each write at least one thing that you need to do this week to protect them.

4. Hurting - Every person on earth has had at least one deep hurt in life. Some people give up and become victims who are not willing to do anything positive to heal to move forward. Others use their pain to help other people. I have heard some people say that time heals. I really don't believe that. Some people hold onto their trauma for decades and never let go! Get professional help when you are stuck!

5. Procrastinating - Do you have great ideas that you never germinate? Are you the person who has advise for other people that you never follow yourself? You likely know the answers to the situation that you are facing but tend to put off enacting them. No one will do the work for you, so it is time to get started. All talk and no action mean you are dead in the water when it comes to progress.

6. Committed - Do you have a goal and a plan to help you achieve it? Are you willing to try even if you don't succeed at first? Would you be willing to study in order to learn strategies that will bring good results? Who do you know who would be willing to encourage and teach you?

Here's the good news. No matter where you fall on the list, you can change and soon you will be able to replace your regret with success!

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Tips For Letting Go of Anger And Resentment

The Power & Presence of Forgiveness: Letting Go

Such a big topic, isn't it? Forgiveness.

I've written about it in various contexts before, and it came up again recently. A subscriber wrote about "a family situation where there has been a lot of hurt," tracing back to growing up without learning how to share feelings or manage conflict well. He asked me for advice on how to practice forgiveness and offer an apology when they might not be reciprocated.

"I know that I've hurt them, too," he said. "But I'm not sure how to forgive when I haven't received an apology. And I don't want to appear to be the one giving in, though I know that's not the most sacred approach."

I was touched by the writer's honesty and grabbed once again by the questions surrounding forgiveness. When I think of forgiving my own difficult people, I have similar questions:

• What's standing in the way?
• Who would I have to be to forgive them?
• What do I need from them to forgive them, and am I likely to get it?
• If I don't get what I need, can I forgive them anyway?
• Where does the power to forgive come from?
• Is this power dependent on external circumstances? If yes, what are they?

It's an inner conflict, isn't it? Like most conflicts, the answers start with a conversation with myself.

My own experience tells me that unless we forgive, we carry a weight around with us that gets heavier with time. If you do an online search for "unforgiveness" you'll find a lot of hits that also include the words anxiety, poison, toxicity, and burden. According to author Anne Lamott: "Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die." Others disagree and say that forgiveness is not a choice but dependent on certain conditions.

Personally, I think that waiting and hoping for someone else to say they're sorry first, and to mean it, is disempowering, as if my happiness depends on an outcome I have no control over. For me it's a choice, and most of the time I can make it.

And maybe I can forgive without saying I'm sorry. Maybe forgiveness is an inside job. When I change my mindset, I lighten up, and who knows what I might be able to say and do, once I've had the conversation with myself.

My dear friend and hugely talented singer/songwriter, Ellen Stapenhorst, says it in her song, One Moment More, also the subject of a former post.

And sometimes I have to forgive myself: for doing something I'd like to take back; for creating unintentional harm; and--perhaps--for not being able to completely forgive someone else, just yet, though I'm working on it. I have to tame the inner critic and let go of the conflict, the subject of this Ki Moments post from 2009.

It all comes back to one of my favorite quotes from the founder of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba:

Opponents confront us continually, but actually there is no opponent there.

And one of my own:

You have more power than you think. When you change, everything changes.

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