Here's How Your Life Changes In 1-2-3

Get Real.

Here's how your life changes in 1,2,3.

Pull the veil back. This takes 3 minutes. And if you let it? This will change your life today.

1. Get real. First off this is the most important bit because I'm asking you to get real with what's not working in your life. Take a breath - is it your sex life? Men? Money? Job? House? Where you live? How you live? Kids? Not having kids? Illness? Death? Trouble? Yes this is the get real bit. What's been happening for you these past few days? What got you down? What's getting you down now? Say it out loud to me and then write it down, just jot it down now on a bit of paper. See? This is you getting real - Goddess it suits you!

When you're honest with yourself you can only make good decisions

You deserve to - so take a breath and ask yourself:

2. How long have I been putting up with this? Dealing with this? Trying to make it work? Has my approach worked? Again - time for you to get real. It's OK, this is where you get real honest with yourself and it's OK if your answer is no. Truly.

Acknowledging the truth to yourself lightens the load.

Excuses and fakeness weigh real heavy when you believe in them

So you've heard yourself say what's really bothering you and whether or not your approach has been helping, so...

3. What action can you take that will alter your life? Remember baby steps make the big steps! Allow yourself to hear it - what action naturally springs to mind when you're honest about your situation? And here's the thing - there's usually something in the way or you would be doing this action already - right? So if you're not doing this action this minute - what thought is in your way?

Here are some of the gems I've picked up along the way from coaching clients and from the inside of my head - and they seem very real at the time:

It's OK, it will work out, it's all good! It will get better. I'll do it soon. It's up to them, not me. It's out of my hands. Who am I to do this? They won't believe me. They don't listen to me so what's the point? I can't handle that right now, it scares me. It's not the right time. I'm not good enough. I'll lose everything. That it's unchangeable.

What thought do you need to DROP this minute? Tell me out loud as you jot it down. Because this thought - is what keeps you going round in circles and not up and outta here!

So to take the action you need to and to feel better right now - what story can you begin telling yourself right now?

That you always win? That you're the STAR of your own story and the heroine (that's you) had to get real to realise she was short changing herself? In accepting a life that didn't fit her anymore? Because she was worth more than that and so today she's going to tell herself that she can have this situation exactly as she wants it and so she's going to take action right now on it which makes her feel like a million dollars... and so... and so... how does the story end?

I'm all ears! (Tell me in the comments below.)

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Shrink Wrap or Unwrap: The Best Way to Achieve Your Goals

"I can't afford it right now," Laine said in a small voice. I could feel even over the phone how her energy was shrinking, moving away from what she wanted but felt she couldn't have. 

Laine's not alone. Her dilemma is one we all face, over and over again, as we move through this journey as entrepreneurs. 

We want to expand, to grow, to reach out and hold what we so desire, but then the contradictory voices come up. 'I can't afford it', 'I can't do that', 'I don't know enough about that'. Even, 'it's not the right time' can be a message that keeps you from what you really want.

If we listen to those messages, we can hold ourselves back, not fully entering into what we want even if it feels so right. 

It's our natural and healthy wanting that is drawing us to what will serve us best. 

Now I'm not saying to recklessly plunge into every impulse you have. What I'm talking about is a draw towards something you truly want. 

So how do you make the right decision for you and your business when there's something you want, and a shrinking energy comes up? 

First, there's something you should know about doing things differently than you have before. When you're entering into a change, even if you really want it, those contradictory voices will pop up. That's called resistance. It comes from your primal impulse to protect yourself. 

That self-protective impulse against doing something new isn't a bad thing. It can keep you from being reckless. But that impulse against change will come up even if what you'd like to do is the best thing for you. You just have to know how to deal with it. Here's how: 

Rather than dealing with resistance like a whack-a-mole player, trying to get rid of every resistant thought that comes up, you can thank the primal part of your brain, the brain stem, for its message. Then, engage your thinking brain, your cerebral cortex. 

If you feel like Laine, that you can't afford it, look at return on investment. Can I recoup the money I'm about to invest? Will taking this step likely lead to more income than I would otherwise have? 

If you feel you don't know enough about it, then find out. Do some research. Talk to people who've done it. Learn from their experience. 

If you feel you can't do it, or that this isn't the right time, look at why. Is there training or information or resources you need? 

If not, then look to fear as the culprit. There really isn't much you can't do - there's almost always a way. There are mostly things you choose not to do. And a choice away from what you really want, even if it seems like just a delay, is most often fear. 

Ask yourself, what's scary about it? Is it new and unfamiliar? Does it have elements that you veer away from? 

Really take some time to sit with these feelings, move into them as much as you can. They're not trying to be mean, even if they are uncomfortable. They have something valuable to tell you. 

This unwrapping of your 'I can't do it' response provides a wealth of information. It's rich territory. 

What do you believe about money? 

What do you believe about opportunities? 

What do you believe about how deserving you are to have what you want to have? 

Big stuff, I know, that can reach back to recent experiences, or all the way back to childhood. 

The thing is, it's all affecting your business right now, in the present. What you believe about yourself and how the world works is so important in how you make decisions. When you unwrap that, a huge gift is waiting for you inside. 

You don't have to go into the why's and the story behind it. You can usually just unearth the belief, and then choose something different. 

Choosing something new can feel risky. And that's OK. We can never get past the point where there's no risk. Calculated risk, reasonable risk based on what you know and what is likely to happen as a result of your decision, is both helpful and valuable. 

You can't grow without taking risks. Your business can't grow. 

So, like Laine, when you come to a decision point, when something draws you and you feel you want to shrink away from it, look at what might be happening. 

Here's an additional way to approach it: see what's happening in your body. Your body is a wonderful indicator of what is right for you. Does moving towards it feel expansive, freeing? Does moving away from it feel sad, and you feel smaller? That's a good indicator that moving towards is the right choice for you. 

We all want to grow, to expand our experience and our contribution. To do that, you have to choose it and make decisions accordingly. Take reasonable risks. Move in the direction of what is important to you. 

When you are strongly drawn to do something, make a decision. Do you want to shrink wrap, or unwrap? Do you want to pull away from it because it scares you, or do you want to unwrap it so that you can move towards what you so desire? You get to choose! 

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Six Minutes to Success #1

Very powerful from the wonderful Bob Procter

What's Stopping You? Getting Rid of the Barriers

Often people tell me of unfulfilled dreams that they wish could have been realized. My first response is that it is never too late to chase a goal. My second response is to try to find out what has been and continues to stop them!

What would you tell me about you? Are you:
1. Insecure - People who are afraid rarely start anything because they figure that they will fail. In fact, they are defeated before they even get to the starting blocks. Old messages from childhood can interfere with their confidence and immobilize their actions. If you are feeling insecure, find a mentor who has found success in the field where you wish to achieve. Take time to gain knowledge. Soon you will be ready to take a step forward.

2. Overwhelmed - Sometimes life seems too difficult and instead of taking action, people freeze. A project can seem to be so big that there is no end in sight. Start by breaking the task down into small, manageable pieces. Do you want to downsize? Try removing one item from the house every day. In thirty days you have removed thirty items. After a year there will be three hundred and sixty-five less things in your surroundings.

3. Lazy - Those who focus on luxuriating, live with negative consequences in the long-run. When you neglect your career, family, friends and home, you will lose your support and security over time. Begin by making a list of all the things that you value and beside each write at least one thing that you need to do this week to protect them.

4. Hurting - Every person on earth has had at least one deep hurt in life. Some people give up and become victims who are not willing to do anything positive to heal to move forward. Others use their pain to help other people. I have heard some people say that time heals. I really don't believe that. Some people hold onto their trauma for decades and never let go! Get professional help when you are stuck!

5. Procrastinating - Do you have great ideas that you never germinate? Are you the person who has advise for other people that you never follow yourself? You likely know the answers to the situation that you are facing but tend to put off enacting them. No one will do the work for you, so it is time to get started. All talk and no action mean you are dead in the water when it comes to progress.

6. Committed - Do you have a goal and a plan to help you achieve it? Are you willing to try even if you don't succeed at first? Would you be willing to study in order to learn strategies that will bring good results? Who do you know who would be willing to encourage and teach you?

Here's the good news. No matter where you fall on the list, you can change and soon you will be able to replace your regret with success!

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