Women's Intuition, More Than Just Folklore

Modern women are intelligent, up to date with the latest technical trends and financial markets. They know how to balance work with family and they have mastered the art of promoting business through what some males refer to as, 'women's gossip' or social media. They follow the financial trends and consumer buying habits and wait for a gap in the market to launch a new product or service. With all of this know-how, many still question their initial thoughts or give away their personal power by listening to the doom and gloom news. In the end, all of this leads to second guessing the missed opportunities. WHY?

For thousands of years, women have held families together, healed the sick, managed the budgets, made three meals a day and often with very little ingredients. Women are no doubt creative, intelligent and every bit alluring when it comes to being in power. So was there ever any doubt that one day they would want to run a successful business? Is there something that has been forgotten? Is there a key element that lays buried deep inside each and every woman, waiting to be fully utilised?

Think back to when you first decided to create a business. What was the first thought? Did you just wake up one morning and think, "I know, today I will establish a business". How did the idea become a reality or are you still wanting the reality.

Many of you have probably thought of a fantastic, unique idea only to let it go because you second guessed yourself? Months or years later the idea you had is now in the market and you are kicking yourself because the idea that now belongs to someone else, was yours.

Why does this happen? Our ego can get in the way of a great idea. The mental left brain logic and self-doubt kick in while the right brain creativity waits for action. After a while, collective consciousness plays a part and someone else picks up on the thought. Yes, that's right, your thoughts are in the ether for others to grab. A little like when you 'know' the phone is going to ring or the person you have thought about contacts you. Energy has weight and power.

Accessing intuition is as easy as thinking of a great idea. Maintaining intuition is a little harder because the ego needs to come second.

The ego is about letting go of control to allow the gut feelings and inner senses to rise through our consciousness. The more the ego learns to come second the clearer the mind becomes. Our thoughts begin to change as the little negative voice takes a back seat. You begin to feel lighter, creative and even happy.

You will start to manifest a successful business that is financially and personally stable and all by allowing the deep sensations that lie within to surface, your intuition. It will present itself through thoughts, feelings, knowing and visions such as imagination. Intuition also has answers and guidance to solutions on how to achieve our goals.

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The Rationale for Personal Development and Training

The basic rationale for personal development can be understood from the necessity to understand one's own human needs, together with spiritual, emotional and social development, because a failure to understand this about one's own self is unthinkable if trying to understand and relate to other human beings in any meaningful way.

A person's development can be perceived in many different ways; for instance as in Freud's Psychosexual Development Theory (Marshall, 2004) which looks at stages of sexual development and the frustrations connected to each stage, or Havighurst's Developmental Stages (Sugarman, 1986) and Tasks which identifies:

Tasks that arise from physical maturation

Tasks that arise from personal values

Tasks that have their source in the pressures of society

or through Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs(Maslow, 1998).

Or indeed through any of the other methods and theories that have been developed, and which may be studied and related to the needs of a counsellor in training,e.g.:

Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development Theory

Piaget's Phases of Cognitive Development

Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development

Gilligan's Theory of Moral Development

Which is to name but a few, and some of which will mean more to one person than to another.

What is really important is the core condition of recognising ourselves and others as human beings with developmental needs and developmental constructs, the understanding of which is paramount to enabling a real understanding of the human development processes and the requirements necessary in order to work towards living a contented and fulfilled existence for ourselves, and for engaging meaningfully with others working towards the same.

An individual's decisions are often influenced by social construction, by adapting our personality to fit in with the expectations of friends, family and employers; whilst in relation to any other person we may act in response to our own unconscious and emotionally fuelled expectations. The person we are depends upon our life experiences and feedback from others about how we inter-relate with those people with whom we come into contact, as well as the physical, cultural and spiritual worlds in which we find ourselves. If we are to be able to relate to others whose personal construct and developmental processes that have led to what they have become with any real empathy and congruence, we must first understand our own construct. In taking responsibility for learning about our own emotional and social actions, understanding and development, we act authentically; but allowing our social construct to make choices for us could be seen as acting un-authentically.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs takes a premise that once the most basic human needs are met it becomes possible to progress through successively more advanced levels of need, to culminate in 'self actualisation'. If we engage in exploring this process we allow ourselves the opportunity to develop a relationship with one's self which leads to and enables the establishment of a more understanding relationship with others.

This hierarchy of needs is based on a 'Humanistic' approach and the concept of 'self actualisation' as described by Carl Rogers, who stressed that self-awareness of the person, on a conscious level, is the most important way to work in understanding behaviour by making reference to the internal framework (Rogers, 1961).

Looking at Kohlberg's stages of moral development (Kegan, 1983) helps us to understand where a person might have difficulties if they have not undergone such moral development through lack of cultural or social contact, or through lack of understanding.

It is only by developing our own understanding of personal development theories and practices that we can develop the skills and practices to help others who are suffering from some lack of personal development or some misguided thinking developed during their upbringing.

Hazel Johns in her book on personal development in counsellor training (Johns, 1996) states what her minimum outline for development in counselling should include:

To learn and unlearn

To have enough sense of identity to survive and flourish in personal development and personal relationships

To love and be loved enough

To have sufficient self esteem and personal power to cope with dependence, independence and interdependence

To be resourceful and creative

To notice and oppose oppression in whatever form it comes

To be strong and vulnerable, tough and tender as needed

To understand and apply theory and skills relevantly to themselves and others

To grow in clarity about ethical standards and never be complacent

To be aware of their own and others need for support and challenge

To have a range of effective ways of being alone and in a group

To see and feel connections with a wider society and world; to be political and care about change, however they live that out.

I would take this further and state that these are things that every enlightened individual needs as an outline for their personal development in order to be a success in any form of relationship, no matter if that be personal or business based and I would add to this list:

To communicate clearly

To have an understanding of the spiritual

To understand basic mental health issues and how they affect themselves and others

and:

To understand the linkages between physical, mental and spiritual needs

It would be easy for a non-spiritual person to ignore or overlook what may be a very strong support or conversely a very damaging practice for another person. Understanding the difference between on the one hand spirituality or spiritual practices and on the other hand religion and religious practices is essential, as the first can be extremely supportive and the latter decidedly destructive when teachings and practices are restrictive and/ or unnatural.

Everyone entering into a working relationship with you has the right to expect you as a professional, in any context, to be capable and well enough equipped to be able to attend to their specific needs, and this places great demands on the professional's emotional resources.

Professionals obviously have needs of their own and those drawn into the 'helping professions' are often more comfortable giving than receiving, so it is essential that we recognise from the outset that self-awareness, self-motivation, choice and the capacity to consider alternatives are intrinsic to the human condition of identity and change; hence we need the opportunity to engage with and focus upon these things in order to be fully equipped for any role we are aiming to undertake.

Personal development is essential to the professional no matter what sector they work in, and the opportunity to engage not only in personal reflection but also in working on this personal development with someone having the understanding of the various developmental theories, at both a personal level and in relation to a group of people with various backgrounds, cultures and upbringing who are brought together through attending a developmental course is a vital opportunity.

The advantage of engaging in a personal development training course is that the course provides: A safe place to learn, the opportunity to explore different understanding and approaches to theories and explore the relational personalities of a diverse group of people willing to engage in the same subject matter along with the support of knowledgeable trainers to remedy incorrect understanding and practices and an opportunity to be introduced to theories that may not have previously been encountered.

It is therefore essential to commit to personal development at the outset of and throughout training and professional practice of any sort in order to be the best we can be. It is also important to actively seek and engage with such training after beginning a professional career by attending conferences and workshops dedicated to further personal development, and opportunities for this are available through Indulgence Un-limited as well as other professional organisations.

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Why A Growth Mindset Is Essential For Entrepreneurs

If you're wondering how mindset development is essential for your newly developing business or practice, read on my friend. By the same token, if you've already grown your business to the place you want - never mind - Just go relax in a hammock beside the sea on your favorite tropical island! Most of the best entrepreneurs who have begun the journey of living their dreams are simply being and doing more of who they are. 

And on this journey all of us must come face to face with a dangerous tiger, an edge, and an obstacle of some sort. Often, we aren't even aware of the real problem we are facing, let alone how we might begin to move through it. Unfortunately we usually don't mind staying warm and cozy inside our "fixed mindsets". It's so much easier to think the way we've always thought and do what we've always done. 

But, the only way to achieve goals is to move into the "growth mindset" zone. So what is a growth mindset, anyway? A very forward-thinking educator, Stanford Professor Carol Dweck, writes about this in her 2006 book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Carol categorizes two very different poles on the mindset spectrum, and characterizes our basic ideas about how we see ourselves:

• When operating from a fixed mindset, "your qualities are carved in stone." In this place your capabilities and possibilities seem finite and are coming from a place of lack. From this point of view you see your qualities and skills as predetermined. You believe that you will continue to lack what you need to go beyond where you already are. While coming from this fixed mindset you also apply this thinking to the qualities others have, and tend to limit your ability to learn from what others have to teach.


• Once you adopt a growth mindset, "your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts...everyone can change and grow through application and experience." Of course one's basic intelligence is a starting point, but success comes as a result of effort, learning, and persistence. From a growth mindset perspective, we are always in the "beginners mind" zone, eager to learn and grow, confident that we have all we need within ourselves and the world around us to achieve our goals.

As you are becoming more and more "smart" as an entrepreneur you must develop an awareness of which mindset you are coming from. This will allow you to expand your thinking habits to be able to just "be with" whatever arises. What happens when we become more of an observer of our thoughts is that we plant seeds of confidence. As our confidence develops it grows into curiosity. And soon our business project is moving along very rapidly, sometimes going in strange directions we never would have expected. When we gear towards growth and expansion we open what I call the "heart mind" (more about this in another post). This is a place in which we become more and more compassionate towards ourselves and others as we practice curiosity towards everything - the good, bad and indifferent. When we have this "don't know mindset" amazing possibilities start to emerge. Even the hardships and stresses we meet in the process of being in the moment become graciously accepted as teachers on our path.

In a way, while living inside a growth mindset the goal is not really "where it's at"! The present moment real-life predicaments we find ourselves in are juicy fodder for our "growth mindset". And as we simply allow each moment to unfold, being fully present with it, our own inner wise mind will teach us invaluable lessons. Once you see that you are operating from a possibility mindset, you can quickly move way out there on that limb where many new ideas and connections will manifest for you. This occurs when you have entered into the "growth mindset" zone.

Mindset development is essential for smart entrepreneurs who wish to grow their business to greater heights. In other posts I will offer exercises and strategies for building a bridge to a growth mindset. In the meantime, just remember - choosing to stay in the comfortable fixed mindset zone is mighty dangerous for your business. Discovering ways to increase your awareness of being either in a fixed or a growth mindset is crucial - not only to getting more business, but in living your dreams, period. 

You see, having the proper mindset not only determines what we perceive in "the world out there" but it either limits or expands our ability to see possibilities in the first place! I invite you to begin to look for the unusual and unexpected connections you are making. 

Perhaps you can become a bit more curious about how these seemingly accidental events relate to the growth of your business and your mindset. And, if you really want to walk the smart entrepreneur's tightrope, give yourself the challenge of doing, thinking or being in some small way, a little bit different, at least once a week. I'll let you figure out your own definition of "different" - but make a weekly habit of it. It will work wonders for your business!

Always Going On Beyond,

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Hebbian Learning - The Value of Repetition

You have always heard that "practice makes perfect." Have you wondered why? It might just be related to the synaptic plasticity of the brain. How many times does a thought need to be repeated before it becomes sufficient hard wired into the brain?

In 1949, Canadian psychologist Donald Hebb postulated a theory in which he said that "the persistence or repetition of a reverberatory activity tends to induce lasting cellular changes that add to its stability." Another way of saying this is "cells that fire together, wire together." Hebbian Learning is a theory that explains that some types of associative learning in which simultaneous activation of cells leads to increases in synaptic strength. Indeed, this may explain why repeated thought or practice strengthens the hardwiring of neurons in the association areas of the various lobes of the brain.

Biologically this means that a dominant thought created through our will power will stimulate new synaptic connections in our brain. Once these connections are made, repetition of the same thought (or action) will stimulate more corresponding connections. These redundant connections become engrams, which are holographic stores of memories. These engrams involve a network of connections which facilitate synchronized synaptic firing thus producing a more efficient expression of a given thought. The more a thought is held, the easier for that thought remembered or activated. For instance, think of acquiring a new physical skill such as dancing or the martial arts or learning a new language.

Conversely there are thoughts or memories that have reached that level of engram efficiency, but are no longer rationally desired. This could be a phobic memory that somehow is hardwired into our survival mechanism. This means that this gestalt (a collection of memories) is connected to the hypothalamus and pituitary and thus creates neuropeptides, which in turn encode this memory at the cellular level. Therefore, any contrary thought will be resisted as our body will have a defensive reaction to the contrary feeling. So, how to be rid our self of these unwanted thoughts? How can be get out of our way?

Again, our will power is a key factor. But, often this is not enough. Obviously, if you follow the postulate of Hebbian Learning, you would say "use it or lose it." If you could select a contrary (hopefully positive) thought, make it as vivid as possible, and have it recurring, you will biologically rewire your brain to develop new neural pathways while weakening the unwanted neural networks thought disuse.

Hypnosis is a great tool for helping bypass resistance and to install new thought patterns. However, repetition is still the key. Repeated hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis sessions can be used effectively to create new neural networks and to allow unwanted networks to atrophy.

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Six Minutes to Success #1

Very powerful from the wonderful Bob Procter

The Triangle for Success

Success is a direct result of applying the right principles to your professional life and your personal life. The question is what are the right principles to apply in order to achieve success? Over the years of studying, four primary principles of success continue to surface from the ancient writers. I call these four principles the triangle of success.

The "triangle" of success because one principle is placed at each corner of the triangle and the crucial principle is positioned in the heart of the triangle. The heart of the triangle is what promises success to the other three principles.

The other three principles at the corner of the triangles embody the essence of men and women. You will see what I am talking about as I unfold these three.

Mind

The first corner of the triangle is your thinking process; or in other ! words exercising your mind. Learning is a necessary step towards growing. Growth is imperative to achieve success. Aristotle puts it succinctly, he writes, "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Success follows the ability to analyze a subject, make sound judgments while moving toward your objectives.

"You are to be a student, not a follower", says Jim Rohn. That is exactly what professionals are, they are students. Success is the goal; therefore, continuous training, instruction, and being mentored is the process.

Those who are successful pay the price. They apply the disciplines of learning. They have placed value on education and training. I, personally, think that if you are a student, always applying the disciplines of learning, that your philosophies of life will be improving, better ideas come to your thinking, which all leads to success.

Education is something that no one can ever take away from you. It helps to develop and define who you are. "The best of all things is to learn. Money can be lost or stolen, health and strength may fail, but what you have committed to your mind is yours forever."

--Louis L'Amour (1908-1988)

Emotions

Your emotion is the second corner of the triangle. Passionately pursuing after your objectives leads to success. This is not to say that your objectives come before people in your life, but the principle is to be well taken-success is dependent on your inner drive to achieve it. The truth is, you will do what you want to do. If you want something bad enough you will dwell on it all of the time doing whatever is necessary to reach your goal. That is passion. Kahlil Gibran said, "All that spirits desire, spirits attain."

Perhaps G. W. F. Hegel says is best, "Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion." You see what I mean when I said above that these principles surface every where I studied? These are the principles that made men and women great. The reasons that they do surface is that these principles are at the core of who and what we are made of inside. You were designed with a purpose and the driving force within you motivates you to accomplish your purpose in life.

"Dwell not upon thy weariness, thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire."
Arab Proverb

Will

The third corner of the triangle is your will. Eventually, you have to step out and do what you desire. If you never decide to reach for your dream, you will remain in the stands with the majority of people in life. Perhaps you have fear, hurt, or insecurity, holding you back; if you permit these or any others to control your actions success stands aloof.

A mentor at this point may be more helpful, than, reading a book or two. At times we need someone to hold us accountable so that we will do the necessary follow through.  Depending on your temperament exercising your will towards your objectives may take a lot of courage, but courage is what guarantees that these others will work. If you don't have the courage to start you never will know, now will you?

I can not stress it strong enough that taking action is one of the most important principles to achieving your dreams. Jim Rohn, says, "Some are always picking the fruit, while others are always, examining the roots." Consistent action will produce results. It is the law of sowing and reaping. You reap what you sow, in other words, you get what you deserve, not what you need. Plant enough seeds and you will find growth. It is the law of ratio. Ask enough people and someone will join or buy.

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."
- Vincent T. Lombardi

Perseverance

Now, what is in the heart or center of the triangle that will enable you to succeed? Every successful person has this. Do you know? I will give you a clue it begins with a P, now you fill in the blank, P__________. It is perseverance! Perseverance is the inner strength to get back into the battle after you have been wounded. As I observe those who succeed and those who don't, it appears to me that the difference is in perseverance. Those with perseverance don't stop until they reach their goal. They are relentless! Just when you thought they were down and out this time, sure as the world, they manage, some how, to get back up again.

I love to visit Chocolate World. It is located in Hershey, PA. They make, obviously, Hershey's chocolate. You get to take a tour to see how they make all of that chocolate and at the end of the ride you get a piece of free chocolate and/or the opportunity to buy all the chocolate you want. But, the significant part of the tour is reading "bits and pieces" of Milton Hershey's life (the founder).

He, like so many others, failed three times in the business world, before he was successful. He had a dream and would not let go of it. Was he ever discouraged? You know he was. Did he ever want to quit? Who doesn't? Did others talk bad about him? I think some still do. However, those are not the right questions to ask. Better questions are: "Did he quit?" And "What kept him from quitting?" Or, "How did he persevere?"  No, he did not give up. He persevered through the hard times and some unbearable problems. How did he do that? What kept him going? The same way thousand's of others did it. The big "P" was in the centre of the triangle. Perseverance was the heart of their passion, attitude, and will.

EDISON, LINCOLN, CHURCHILL, ALL FAILED, BUT DID NOT GIVE UP.

Napolean Hill captures the three corners of the triangle when he writes, "Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action." As you add perseverance to this success formula it is one sure way to, at least, do your part to succeed. There are never any promises how life will turn out, but one thing for sure, neglect the right principles and you are removing the possibilities of success.

I will conclude with the words of Abraham Lincoln, "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing."

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Exploding Myths About Learning

When I was a child, and a string of Christmas tree lights went out, it was my job to replace each bulb one-by-one to discover which one was burned out. To enrich our effectiveness in work or study, we need to first uncover what is obstructing our progress. We need to ensure that we are sufficiently hydrated and nourished. A person dehydrated by just five percent has a diminished cognitive ability of thirty percent. The right types of food will supply the brain with its fuel - glucose. As well, our immediate surroundings must be factored in. Things like temperature, illumination, cleanliness, acoustics, and support materials. A competitive atmosphere is built into the school format, and this discourages some who are less visual or auditory than others.

Ninety-five percent of our behaviors are automatic. They are driven by the subconscious mind, which faithfully carries out clear directives. Like computer programs, these patterns or habits are often established in early childhood, and operate flawlessly until they are changed. This can explain self-sabotage, difficulties with motivation, discipline, and attitudes.

Whether you are a student, or already in the workforce, you have a need to take in information in the most efficient manner possible. For the next few moments, suspend your belief in everything you know about how to learn. Keep an open mind to new concepts.

Some people still believe that incoming data (information) reaches the conscious mind first, and then somehow gets processed so that some of it finally reaches long-term memory. Actually, the opposite is true. Initially, all data hits the subconscious for processing. The brain's priority is survival. If the new information isn't threatening, then it is compared to existing data. If it's not needed, it is deleted. The remaining data is sorted and filtered. Some is handed off to the conscious mind for processing, and some is consigned to long-term memory. This all happens in a flash. The subconscious mind operates at 800 times the speed of the conscious mind.

Why can't people remember things when they are nervous? I am sure that you've heard of the body's reaction to threat. It's called fight-or-flight. It is typified by rapid breathing, and a diversion of oxygenated blood from the visceral area to muscles. As well, blood moves from the brain's thinking area (frontal lobes) to that part of the brain that is responsible for survival reactions (reptilian brain). Under stress, we just don't think as well.

We learn by taking in information through all our senses. The top three ways we learn is seeing, hearing, and touching. Most instructors do not think that learning through touch and movement is useful beyond the lower grades. Generally speaking, school systems cater to visual and auditory learners. Those whose principal learning mode is kinesthetic (touch, movement, experience) operate at a distinct disadvantage. This group makes up a large portion of high-school dropouts.

The concept of different learning styles goes far beyond just visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. I am sure you know that most people have a dominant hand and a dominant brain hemisphere. People also have a dominant foot, dominant eye, and dominant ear. The configuration of how any one person is wired may show one of a possible 32 unique learning styles.

Occasionally, trainers instruct according to how they themselves learn. They blatantly disregard the fact that many of their learners do not share the same approach. This non-inclusive teaching can be remedied by including a number of simple measures. The use of flip charts in lieu of presentation slides is more kinesthetic. It encourages learners to pace themselves with the lesson as it progresses, rather than "reading ahead" and not listening to the instructor. Flip chart pages can be placed around the room to be used as review points. These reviews are done at the beginning of the next class, in groups of three walking around the room (kinesthetic activity). The small group format increases the chance that each student will be discussing the points with classmates whose learning styles are different. This enables new perceptions to emerge.

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