Your Environment Shapes Your Destiny

 

Your Environment Shapes Your Destiny: Why Who You Spend Time With Determines Your Success

If you want to see your future, look at your circle.

Every elite performer knows that growth isn’t a solo pursuit — it’s a collective effect.
Your environment quietly sculpts your mindset, habits, and self-belief.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
— Jim Rohn

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly absorbing the energy, attitudes, and expectations of those around you.
That’s why the elite are deliberate about their environments — they design them with precision.

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The Hidden Power of Proximity

Proximity is power — and not just metaphorically.
Neuroscience shows that human brains mirror the emotions and behaviours of the people they interact with most.
If you spend time around confidence, you adopt confidence.
If you spend time around doubt, you inherit doubt.

Your circle is your silent architect.

This is why so many high-achievers credit their transformation to community — to being surrounded by others who hold them to higher standards.

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How the Elite Curate Their Environments

1. They Choose Circles That Challenge, Not Comfort

The elite don’t crave agreement — they crave growth.
They seek out people who stretch their perspective, not just validate their current one.

Elon Musk, for instance, built his empire through masterminds of engineers and visionaries who constantly challenged his ideas.
Serena Williams trains with players better than her to keep evolving her game.

Comfort doesn’t create greatness — challenge does.

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2. They Guard Their Energy Relentlessly

Success demands focus, and focus requires selective attention.
That’s why elite leaders are intentional about what (and who) they allow into their space.

Warren Buffett said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

They say no — not out of arrogance, but out of alignment.

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3. They Invest in Environments of Excellence

Growth doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens in immersion.
That’s why elite performers attend seminars, retreats, and masterminds — not for networking, but for energy exchange.

Every interaction becomes a spark. Every environment becomes an accelerator.

Being surrounded by purpose-driven, high-energy people rewires what you believe is possible.

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The Science of Environmental Influence

According to behavioural psychology, 40% of your daily actions are habitual — shaped by cues in your environment.
Your brain constantly looks for social proof to determine how to act, think, and feel.

If your environment supports discipline, you act disciplined.
If your environment rewards procrastination, you hesitate.

In other words: your environment doesn’t just reflect who you are — it creates who you become.

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How to Redesign Your Circle and Environment

1. Audit Your Surroundings.
   Ask: “Do my daily interactions support my best self or my old self?”

2. Seek Upward Energy.
   Spend time with people who talk about vision, solutions, and growth — not complaints.

3. Curate What You Consume.
   What you read, watch, and listen to is also your environment. Choose content that nourishes.

4. Invest in Growth Communities.
   Join groups, workshops, or seminars that elevate your mindset. Proximity accelerates progress.

5. Be the Energy You Seek.
   Elevate others and you’ll elevate yourself. Leadership attracts leadership.

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Elite Examples: How Environment Transformed Lives

• Oprah Winfrey surrounded herself with mentors like Maya Angelou, whose wisdom became the foundation of her leadership and empathy.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger often says, “You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” He built his empire by training with the best, learning from icons, and staying around driven people.

• Tony Robbins began as a janitor — but through immersion in mentorship, seminars, and powerful environments, he rewired his destiny.

Their success wasn’t luck. It was environmental design.

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Final Thoughts: Build the Room That Builds You

You don’t need to be in elite circles to start — you just need to step into environments that make you think, stretch, and act differently.

Every conversation, every influence, every room you enter leaves an imprint.
The question is: are those imprints helping you rise or keeping you small?

The right environment doesn’t just change what you do — it changes who you believe you can be.

Surround yourself with people and places that expand your future.
Because your destiny isn’t written — it’s influenced, daily, by what surrounds you.

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Call to Action: Step Into Environments of Growth

If this article resonated, keep your momentum alive.
Follow the Personal Development & Mindset Blog for weekly insights on mindset, success, and personal evolution — inspired by how the elite design their environments for greatness.

Join a growing community of achievers who know that success starts with the space you create around you.
Click Follow today — and begin building the environment that builds you. 🌱

Success and Winning Changes Everything

Success is the sum of all our small efforts. Winning isn't fast and easy. Our life is built one brick at a time and one moment at a time. But we can develop a wining attitude so that we can win.

Winning is something that builds us physically and mentally every day. You must be prepared for a roller coaster ride to win though. But that is to be expected, because winning is for the hard worker and for someone who wants it bad enough.

There are moments in life when you arrive at a crossroads. Either you keep doing the same thing with the same results or you change your life and do something completely different. Winners do the latter. Winners make a decision to win.

However, to win you must make quite a few small and some not so small tweaks in your life.

First, you have to choose your friends wisely. If they are putting you down all the time and pulling you off your path, you will never win. There is a chance that those friends are losers and want you to be as well so that they can feel comfortable hanging out with you.

Second, don't spend your time in worthless pursuits such as bar hopping or hanging out until all hours of the night. You are too busy and focused for this. This drains your energy and turns you into a loser.

Third, be focused on your goal-whatever it is. Success is commitment to the process. Successful people just put in the time honing their skills and getting better all the time. They are willing to do the work.

Fourth, winners don't expect to get easy rides. They know that it will be hard work. But they believe that it is worth it, and they are willing to put in the time and energy and make the sacrifices necessary.

Fifth, remember, you won't see results right away so don't expect them. But realize that once you are successful for a while, you will be propelled to continue to work hard until you win.

Sixth, there is no magic pill to be successful. Anyone who is willing to work hard will win. So, therefore, if you work hard, you too will win. You just must believe in yourself and trust the process.

Successful know how to win. They put in the hard work and they are willing to be focused on their goal to such an extent that they won't let anything get in the way of their pursuing it. Are you ready for the challenge? Can you decide to work past small burps in the road to your destination? All it takes is the will to win, and once you develop this will, your life will change forever.

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Live in the Now, Learn From the Past and Create a Wonderful Future

All you really possess is right now, the past is gone forever and is only a distant memory and the future only exists as an idea or electrical charge in your mind. So if you consistently live your life looking in the rear-view mirror, living with regret for what could or should have been. You are wasting the value of every moment to be content and fulfilled. Similarly if you constantly live, gazing into the future, concerned about what may be, you never get to use your most valuable possession, namely every "NOW" to live, love and laugh.

Learn from the Past
The only way to create the wonder you deserve and to enjoy every moment, is to remove the memory of failure, which is embedded so deeply in your Psyche and instead to use the memory of the past as your tutor. Learn all the lessons it offers and then move boldly into the present, equipped to make the most of every moment.

Plan for the Future, Live in the Now
Yes, you must have a vision or direction, which you want to use to guide your travels into the future and a strategic plan, which you act upon daily to get you there, but learn to live in the moment and give yourself permission to enjoy each one. The picture of possibility the future offers, is only a figment of your imagination. Discovering meaning and fulfilment is not found at that destination in the future, but in every moment you dare to live in the NOW. Yes as clichéd as it may sound, success is never about the destination, but rather about enjoying the journey, which will eventually get you there.

Do not feel Disappointment, Discover Meaning and Fulfillment
Disappointment is the gap, which exists between your unrealised expectations, your reality and what you believe is possible for you. So yes you will encounter difficulties, challenges and setbacks on your path towards the success you desire. These are all just a natural and very necessary part of any success journey, as they teach you valuable lessons and often highlight opportunities, which would have remained hidden, had you not encountered the challenges in the first place. Summon the courage to deal with the hurts of the past, travel boldly into the future, but live and discover meaning, joy and happiness in the NOW.

Break Free - You are Magnificent

Being average is easy, being exceptional on the other hand demands, sustained inspiration, extra effort and a healthy dose of daily discipline. None of which should detract from your commitment to the moment. Never allow yourself to feel overwhelmed or distressed by the process of inviting success into your life, live every moment to the full and enjoy the meaning and fulfilment each one brings. Yes there is a price to be paid to achieve the success you desire, but if the picture of possibility you have for the future is aligned with who you really are, you will always be able to find value and meaning in everything you do, including the goal specific actions you will take daily.

Be Confident - You Really do have what it Takes
Your dreams are fragile and as you travel the path towards them, you will be buffeted by challenges and setbacks. Accept them as part of the journey, embrace them and do not allow them to spoil even one of your magnificent moments. Your "NOWS" are really valuable, enjoy each one and you will have mastered your life. You do have what it takes, so feel the confidence you deserve and march boldly and confidently into your future, embracing, enjoying and making the most of every moment.

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Are You Ready to Build a Solid Foundation?

Invest a little time to introspect and ask yourself - "How strong is the foundation of your life right now"? "Are you content that you have built a rock solid base, from which you can launch your future success"? I believe the foundation of your life is built on your values, which are comprised of your character, integrity, belief, loyalty and honesty. To truly be successful in life you need to ensure that you have a foundation, which is harmonious and based on all the crucial elements of your personal values.

I have seen people compromise on their values, where they have walked all over other people to acquire great financial wealth, using deceit as a tool for their success. These people appear to have all the flashings, which go with success, but they lack true friends and deep relationships with people, who matter. There are also those business professionals, who invest so much time into their corporate lives that they alienate their families, as they climb the corporate ladder. Or the business tycoon, who has acquired great financial wealth, but is lying alone in his bed in the hospital recovering from his second triple heart bypass operation. None of these people have an understanding of balance and harmony in their lives.

You must Invite Harmony or Balance into your Life

As my experience grows and the more I see people around me compromise on their values. Where they live lives, which are out of sync with the harmony and balance in the universe, the more convinced I become that we have a responsibility to not only focus on one element in our lives, at the expense of any other. We must strive for harmony and always remain in alignment with our authentic self. We can never be content or fulfilled, if we live in a place which is unbalanced or out of sync with the universe or our own inner values. Your values are the cornerstone of your happiness and contentment.

As you know, We are thinkers and Doers

We all think thoughts, which drive our actions or lack thereof. As you know we also act according to our most dominant thoughts. So if your dominant thoughts are focused on lack, negativity or losing, that is exactly what you will get to see in your life. I believe that we are all wonderful creators and winners in our own unique and special way. So if you want to achieve success and meaning in your life, you must act in alignment with your values and must remain focused on thinking positive developmental thoughts.

Now is the time to Think better thoughts

You are where you are, because of what you have thought up until now. So if you want to change where you are going to end up one year, five years or even ten years from now, you must change the way you think. Your thinking drives your choices and decisions, which in turn determine the actions you take or fail to take and as the actions you take or fail to take, determine the results you experience. The obvious way to improve your results is to change the way you think.

Build your Foundation Stones?

Invest some time to think about your values or the foundation stones I have described earlier in this article, namely character, integrity, belief, loyalty and honesty. These make up the raw materials your mind uses to create all its thinking. You are at the core of all your thinking. So as you can imagine your thoughts determine, what you have, what you do and are the key factors determining the results you will get to enjoy in your life.

They are effectively the code, which determines how your life will turn out in the end. Unlimited opportunity resides within you. It is time to accept that success is not a result of chance, but choice. Make the wiser choice right now and choose to be authentic, live according to your true values and success is yours for the taking.

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Simple Keys to Success

Ever just get tired of doing the same old thing but don't have the incentive or courage to change it? Fear and apathy are very insidious obstacles to overcome on our spiritual path of awakening. When we get stuck in a rut because we are afraid of the consequences of change, or we get so numbed out to what we truly feel and desire, that we don't take risks, then we never get to really shine and embody our potential.

As a psychic, I often have clients come to me who are unhappy or dissatisfied in their lives. My council of guides imparts messages of hope and inspiration for those that are ready to listen. However, if the person hears the message but doesn't motivate themself to step outside their comfort zone, and try new ventures, then they will continue to question why their life isn't changing. We probably all have a friend, neighbor or relative who constantly complains about their unhappy marriage, unfulfilling job, poor health or unfair state of the world. Yet, they stay stuck in that miserable reality year after year, feeling that life is unjust and they are unfortunate. Where is their will to live, and their desire to be fully alive and not just to exist? What happened to their ability to dream?

On the other hand, there are some people who aspire to overcome all obstacles on their path, and embody their soul's mission no matter what. I recently watched a Netflix movie about a young strapping fellow who had a motocross accident and was paralyzed from the neck down. He was in the prime of his life and on the fast track to success. He did not accept his hopeless diagnosis of being paralyzed for life and challenged the doctors who said he would never improve. He embarked on an arduous journey of healing and recovery. At the end of the movie he walked across Death Valley, one step at a time, carefully balancing his weight and focusing his attention on the terrain. The trek took 6 days. He now has a thriving business helping others to recover and rehabilitate from severe physical limitations.

When thinking about the disparity between people who surmount life's challenges, and people who stay stuck, I see a few essential differences. The person who can dream after their dream gets shattered, usually has a belief in a higher divine source, which is intrinsically guiding their life. In addition, this person has made the significant decision to move out of isolation and connect with humanity in some way, so that they are not alone. The external support of friends and family can make a significant contribution for inspiring someone to love themselves enough to improve their life circumstances. Positive change can also happen when one moves beyond self-pity, apathy and fear and taps into an awareness of their innate life force and connection to their infinite source within.

Now is the time to wake up and embody your potential! Now is the time to move beyond the status quo and experience the freedom that comes when one faces their fears and slays them with courageous acts of faith. I invite you to consider what your challenges to success are and to let yourself dream again.

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Focus Is What Creates Wealth

A few months ago, I wrote about the two driving forces in every decision we make. Each decision you make is based on your attempt to avoid pain or pursue pleasure. In many areas of our lives, pain seems more intense and therefore, most of us base our decisions trying to avoid pain. 

Take someone who is out of shape for example. Are they out of shape because they do not possess the knowledge to get in shape? No, we know what it takes to be in shape, but we also know it's hard, it takes work and commitment. For some, the idea of not eating what they want and working out is more painful than the pleasure of being in shape. 

Being in financial shape is not different. We know that we need to budget our personal finances and we need to earn more than we spend to be in good financial health, but some people associate too much pain with not spending, so they spend. Each person has their own associations with pain and pleasure. In the article I wrote a few months ago, I focused on the benefits of pain and how it is necessary to reach your goals and how we should not avoid it. 

Success does not come easy and pain is part of that journey.

Knowing that pain is positive helps us when we are going to make a decision that could cause pain, but that knowledge alone might not be enough. What can make a big difference is our ability to focus on the pursuit of pleasure over the avoidance of pain. The idea is to make the thought of the pleasure more powerful than the thought of the pain. This is done in two ways:

GOALS

Obviously, we know goals are important in business. In fact, some will argue you will not be successful without them. What is not so easy to understand is why goals are so important. By having and focusing on goals, you are focusing on what you want, which is the pleasure we get from the decisions we make. When you are newer to business I would suggest focusing on a SMART goal, but my SMART goal might be a little different than what you have been taught.

Specific: The more specific your goal is the better. Your picture of what you want should be very clear.

Measurable: A goal like getting into shape is not only not specific but it cannot be measured. How will you know when you reach it? Great goals are easy to measure and know when they are accomplished.

Action Focused: This is the one that changes a little from what others are teaching. When you are getting started, created goals that are based on actions will help you. This is because they are easy to accomplish, and you can create some momentum. Small success leads to great things. For example, you might want to make a goal that you will make 5 offers each day or each week instead of doing one deal a month. Although you might want to do a deal a month, the focus should be on the actionable items that will get you there.

Reasonable: This is one that is challenging for a lot of us. We hear that if you shoot for the stars and miss, at least you will land on the moon. Although I do believe that we need to think big, I also understand that we need to believe our goals are attainable or we will not hit them. Our mind is so incredibly powerful that if it does not believe you can hit the goal... you can't. My advice is to make short term goals that stretch you, but that you believe are possible. As you start hitting your goals you will be expanding your mind and can create bigger and bigger goals. There is also nothing wrong with dreaming or setting lofty longer-term goals. That too can be very positive in your development.

Time Based: As mentioned above I like the idea of short term goals. My preference is a year or less on the actual goals that you are going to focus on. Monthly goals work well. There should also be rewards for hitting these short terms goals. In no case should your goal not come with a definitive date to accomplish.

BIG WHY

I have written several articles and posts about this, so I will not spend too much time here, but it is important to mention that it is my strong opinion that your why is the one fail safe way to have success in anything you do. As long as your why is big enough, you cannot fail. Period.

The second way to shift your focus to the pleasure is your big why. Your why is very different than a goal, as it might not meet any of the SMART criteria. It is huge, much bigger than you, and is often something that is hard for you to even realize you are capable of accomplishing. Your goals will be based on this, but it is not something that you are tracking in most cases. It is often times much bigger than you, like leaving a legacy or helping or starting a charity. It is my why that keeps me going when things get hard and it is my why that helps me make decisions that I know will cause some temporary pain. It helps you bust through fear.

By focusing on your dreams and your goals you will be able to look past temporary pain, so you can create lifelong pleasure. Combine this strategy with the knowledge that pain is positive and you will be unstoppable!

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Gratitude - The Secret to Changing Your Life

The largest obstacles standing in our way when we begin attempting to utilize the Law of Attraction are our current habitual thought processes. Whether we realize it or not, most of us focus solely on our lacks, our wants, (also translated as "things we don't have" or "lack"), and on the things that irritate us or stand in our way. This is largely counterproductive, as what we are magnetizing is more lack and more irritation.

There is a fantastic trick to altering our mode of thought in a more positive, abundant direction. This is the process of gratitude.

Take a moment and stop worrying about the things you need. Stop worrying about the things you want. Stop worrying about what's going wrong and what you can't do anything about. Instead, focus on what it is in your own life that you already have that you are grateful for. Do you have a significant other? A child? A great car? A great computer? Great friends? A job you enjoy? Even a book that you are reading right now that just tickles you pink is a good point of focus.

Become aware of the effect these things have on your life. What would life be like without them? Aren't you grateful to have these things? Focus on your gratitude for what you have. Spend a little time every morning and every night feeling gratitude for the things you already have acquired or accomplished that have made your life better.

 Now here's the fun part. When you focus on the things that you love and already have, you create a magnet to attract more things you will love and have. When you are constantly grateful for your family, your house, your pets, or whatever, you are placing these positive emotions and thoughts out in front of your negative worries. Now, the stronger of these thoughts (the positive ones) will begin to have the most effect on your manifestations.

Because you are now in a mindset of enjoying the things you have, you are in a present, positive state of mind which allows fast and easy attraction of more wonderful things and people into your life. The irony is that most of us completely ignore and neglect that which we already have, and therefore we are creating even more lack in our lives - we are creating an energetic lack of that which we've already attracted! That form of magnetizing will only continue to bring you things and experiences you do not desire. Focusing on and developing gratitude causes your energy to focus on manifesting more reasons to be grateful.

And so it is that the simplest, most effective trick for manifesting things that you want is to stop and take the time to appreciate and enjoy the things that you already have.

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Hebbian Learning - The Value of Repetition

You have always heard that "practice makes perfect." Have you wondered why? It might just be related to the synaptic plasticity of the brain. How many times does a thought need to be repeated before it becomes sufficient hard wired into the brain?

In 1949, Canadian psychologist Donald Hebb postulated a theory in which he said that "the persistence or repetition of a reverberatory activity tends to induce lasting cellular changes that add to its stability." Another way of saying this is "cells that fire together, wire together." Hebbian Learning is a theory that explains that some types of associative learning in which simultaneous activation of cells leads to increases in synaptic strength. Indeed, this may explain why repeated thought or practice strengthens the hardwiring of neurons in the association areas of the various lobes of the brain.

Biologically this means that a dominant thought created through our will power will stimulate new synaptic connections in our brain. Once these connections are made, repetition of the same thought (or action) will stimulate more corresponding connections. These redundant connections become engrams, which are holographic stores of memories. These engrams involve a network of connections which facilitate synchronized synaptic firing thus producing a more efficient expression of a given thought. The more a thought is held, the easier for that thought remembered or activated. For instance, think of acquiring a new physical skill such as dancing or the martial arts or learning a new language.

Conversely there are thoughts or memories that have reached that level of engram efficiency, but are no longer rationally desired. This could be a phobic memory that somehow is hardwired into our survival mechanism. This means that this gestalt (a collection of memories) is connected to the hypothalamus and pituitary and thus creates neuropeptides, which in turn encode this memory at the cellular level. Therefore, any contrary thought will be resisted as our body will have a defensive reaction to the contrary feeling. So, how to be rid our self of these unwanted thoughts? How can be get out of our way?

Again, our will power is a key factor. But, often this is not enough. Obviously, if you follow the postulate of Hebbian Learning, you would say "use it or lose it." If you could select a contrary (hopefully positive) thought, make it as vivid as possible, and have it recurring, you will biologically rewire your brain to develop new neural pathways while weakening the unwanted neural networks thought disuse.

Hypnosis is a great tool for helping bypass resistance and to install new thought patterns. However, repetition is still the key. Repeated hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis sessions can be used effectively to create new neural networks and to allow unwanted networks to atrophy.

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YOU VS YOU - Best Motivational Video - THIS SAYS IT AS IT IS!

Ohhhhh! Yes!! What do you think? Would love to know your feeling on this?

Unbroken - Motivational Video

How To Create More Money FAST

Do you ever find yourself thinking, "I know I should be making more money"... and yet it just isn't showing up? There's a level of income you're trying to create, but the universe seems to be on its own slower-than-slow timeline. You wonder whether you're putting blocks in your own path, or exactly what's happening?

Riley Diess is a decorated veteran turned motivational speaker. She has a natural talent for inspiration, and whenever she delivers a keynote speech, people are lined up for blocks to talk to her. With her rave reviews, and stellar referrals, she wonders, "I honestly couldn't work any harder, or any more diligently! But isn't there a way to make this money-thing go faster? Am I somehow blocking my own success?"

A lack of revenue could be for a million reasons... from our marketing message to our advertising budget to the employees we engage. It could also be from outside forces, like the market conditions we experienced back in 2008 and 2009.

If we're freelancing for other companies, a lack of a strong income could be from economic conditions like election years or foreign policy concerns... or it could come from something closer to home like mismanagement or a lack of vision of the company we work for... it could even be that we're under-qualified or over-qualified as compared to other freelancers or competitors.

So a lack of revenue can get down to a number of different reasons. But underneath it all, there's really only one reason we don't have affluence:

It's because we're focused on LACK.

If we're thinking about what we don't have, that vibration of what we don't have creates our reality.

The more we focus on prosperity thinking, the more prosperity will find its way to us. That's about as simple as it gets! This is what Riley started doing quite successfully, and you can too. (In this podcast episode, we'll even learn how to hold on to the "bigness" of a money goal, but not create a vibrational barricade to receiving it.)

Suggestion: When you're feeling stuck, it's never the situation that has you stuck... it's your energy that's become stuck, by the trigger of negative emotions that can come from past situations or events.

In other words, it isn't the pain of the situation; it's the pain of not being connected in the natural energy of who you really are... of being connected to that magical part of you that's a creative vibrational being who can use positive energies to create what you want and bring it into physical manifestation. Part of this process is to allow your manifestations to materialize, and not get stuck in the negative vibrations that block them.

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I Am

"I am... " is an amazingly small but powerful statement. If you become aware of your spoken words and unspoken thoughts, you will find that you and these two words are very intimate. This small statement is so powerful because it is a declaration. When you say, "I am... " you are declaring it so! You are making a proclamation to the world, to the Universe, to your higher power, to others and to yourself!

Unfortunately, most of the "I am's" are derogatory. Do you believe me? How about you pay attention to your thoughts and words for an hour and see if I am right. I bet you will say or think at least one thing negative to or about yourself in that time. Here are just a few examples: I am so fat. I am stupid. I am never on time. I am confused. I am not good enough. I am so mean sometimes. I am really behind on the housework. I am not a good cook. I am so forgetful. I am scared. I am sick. I am not good enough. The list goes on and on. Do any of these statements ring true to you? Do you find that you are constantly badgering yourself? Sometimes these statements are simply feelings, and not actually spoken or thought, but they are still a declaration of who you think you are!

Consider this:

What if you used your words to empower yourself?
What if you caught yourself using the "I am" in a negative way
and immediately turned it around so that you were not putting yourself down?

Let's use a little example here: You are doing the dishes and you accidentally drop and break one. These words immediately fly out of your mouth: "God, I am so clumsy!" While you are cleaning up the broken glass, you say and think, "I am so stupid! Now, I am going to be really late! I am so dumb!" Think about how all those negative words are declaring who you are. Is that what you want to project about yourself... that you are clumsy, stupid, late, and dumb? I don't think that is a picture we want to paint of ourselves. These "I am's" will follow you around all day!

What if we looked at the same situation through different glasses? Let's see what that same scenario would look like with a different set of "I am's": You are doing the dishes and you accidentally drop and break one. These words immediately fly out of your mouth: "Wow, I am so quick with the dishes, it flew out of my hand and I didn't even realize it!" While you are cleaning up the broken glass, you say and think, "I am so efficient, I will clean this up quickly so I am on time. I am so great at cleaning." So... same situation... healthier words and attitude... Now you are projecting that you are quick, efficient, on time, and great at cleaning.

Which scenario feels better to you? Which proclamations help your self esteem and self concept? Which words feed your soul and which words take away? Is your face light and happy or scowling and angry? What is your breathing doing? What about your heart rate and your adrenaline? Are you releasing poisonous toxins into your body by being mean with yourself, or are you smiling and releasing healthy endorphins? Are you being judgmental or loving? Are you blaming or being accepting? No matter what your reaction is, the event is still the same... just an event... how you respond is where the power is.

When you say mean things to yourself, those words have a tendency to hang on and follow you through your day... even your week... and sometimes even longer. When you say nice things to yourself, it gives you the freedom and permission to move forward and to not dwell on the circumstance that you just braved through. You get to "let it go". Being nice allows you to laugh at yourself, to forgive yourself, and to be kind and loving to yourself. Doesn't that feel better than berating yourself?

When we make these "I am" statements, we need to ask ourselves if we are breathing truth. I believe we are really ultra critical of ourselves, we are our own worst critics... and we need to stop! Saying nasty things to ourselves is not nice, and we allow it for some reason. We would never allow someone else to speak to us the way we do, and that's the truth! (If you do allow others to speak to you in a mean way... that's a whole other issue!)

Take Action: This week and moving forward, let's monitor the way we think and talk to ourselves. When we say mean and demeaning things, let's immediately replace those hurtful words with kind and loving truths. "I am" is so powerful, but let's use our power for good and not for evil. We all deserve it!

Because Together is Better,

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