Growing Through A Life Transition

1. Wanting to change or improve a certain aspect of your life.
2. Wanting a major overhaul or being impacted to reflect a major life overhaul.
3. Accepting change and planning for what you want.
4. Focusing on what could go wrong.
5. Resisting the change and staying numb.
6. Growing with the change and having the right support for success and happiness.

Being connected to what you want naturally enables you to reach out for what you want.

Being disconnected from what you want leaves you to fulfil the needs of everyone around you.

How you exist for yourself and with others is a balanced act.

Knowing what you want and deciding to take action to reach for what you want empowers you.

Not knowing what you want and agreeing with everyone around you as they take decisions on your behalf sets you up for a trap.

I am not referring to co-dependency where 2 people merge and uniqueness is lost. I am referring to being in charge and responsible for your life. I mean all of it.

If you don't know what you want or what you need how are you ever going to know when you are fulfilled, satisfied and happy?

If you give the responsibility of your life to another person to make you happy and to make sure that you are on track affectionately or financially I have one question for you.

What will you do when this person will no longer be there?

The reality is that separations, divorces and deaths are part of life.

When a person is impacted by another person's decision or by an unfortunate situation it does weaken their esteem. No doubt.

When a person takes a decision he or she is empowered because it is a choice. Having taken the decision makes a person feel in control. If the decision was taken from ignorance or a disconnected place there will be regrets.

When the decision is taken from an unshakeable place within the person is aligned with life. The path ahead is cleared up and it is struggle free. I am not saying obstacle free. Struggling and overcoming an obstacle are different in their energy. A struggle will take its energy from the ego and it will leave you feeling tired. On the other hand an obstacle will call on the muscle of courage and faith and with the right community support the obstacle will be surpassed.

In both of these cases, whether a person took the decision or was impacted by the decision of another person, are both a beginning of a transition.

For the person that took a decision the change makes sense. This person will feel in control.

For the person that was impacted it does not make sense. This person will not feel in control.

Both situations will have their share of stress or worry. 

What are life transitions?

• Being born
• Being single transitioning to living as a couple
• Living as a couple transitioning to being single
• Being a mother or father transitioning to family expansion
• Expanded family transitioning to living alone or living with a spouse (grown children leaving home / split family from separation or divorce)
• Being unemployed transitioning to working
• Working transitioning to another job and adapting to a new environment
• Being employed transitioning to being a business owner
• Business owner transitioning through business expansion
• Working or owning a business transitioning to retirement
• Retirement transitioning to leisure activities or to never retiring
• Dying and living in another dimension

Transitions are part of the natural stages of life.

Transformations that makes sense for you asks you to believe in yourself through resilience capitalizing on all the victories you have had up to this point in your life.

A good community support helps and enables you to live the successful transformation that you want.

Connect With Your Heart,

Yvonne St-Louis

Yvonne has helped men and women through their life transition. A responsible compassion leads you to let go of the stress and the pressure caused by the psychological structural tension caused by change. Through changes there is stress. It's a part of change. There is a good stress and there is also being distressed which is not so good.

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Here's How Your Life Changes In 1-2-3

Get Real.

Here's how your life changes in 1,2,3.

Pull the veil back. This takes 3 minutes. And if you let it? This will change your life today.

1. Get real. First off this is the most important bit because I'm asking you to get real with what's not working in your life. Take a breath - is it your sex life? Men? Money? Job? House? Where you live? How you live? Kids? Not having kids? Illness? Death? Trouble? Yes this is the get real bit. What's been happening for you these past few days? What got you down? What's getting you down now? Say it out loud to me and then write it down, just jot it down now on a bit of paper. See? This is you getting real - Goddess it suits you!

When you're honest with yourself you can only make good decisions

You deserve to - so take a breath and ask yourself:

2. How long have I been putting up with this? Dealing with this? Trying to make it work? Has my approach worked? Again - time for you to get real. It's OK, this is where you get real honest with yourself and it's OK if your answer is no. Truly.

Acknowledging the truth to yourself lightens the load.

Excuses and fakeness weigh real heavy when you believe in them

So you've heard yourself say what's really bothering you and whether or not your approach has been helping, so...

3. What action can you take that will alter your life? Remember baby steps make the big steps! Allow yourself to hear it - what action naturally springs to mind when you're honest about your situation? And here's the thing - there's usually something in the way or you would be doing this action already - right? So if you're not doing this action this minute - what thought is in your way?

Here are some of the gems I've picked up along the way from coaching clients and from the inside of my head - and they seem very real at the time:

It's OK, it will work out, it's all good! It will get better. I'll do it soon. It's up to them, not me. It's out of my hands. Who am I to do this? They won't believe me. They don't listen to me so what's the point? I can't handle that right now, it scares me. It's not the right time. I'm not good enough. I'll lose everything. That it's unchangeable.

What thought do you need to DROP this minute? Tell me out loud as you jot it down. Because this thought - is what keeps you going round in circles and not up and outta here!

So to take the action you need to and to feel better right now - what story can you begin telling yourself right now?

That you always win? That you're the STAR of your own story and the heroine (that's you) had to get real to realise she was short changing herself? In accepting a life that didn't fit her anymore? Because she was worth more than that and so today she's going to tell herself that she can have this situation exactly as she wants it and so she's going to take action right now on it which makes her feel like a million dollars... and so... and so... how does the story end?

I'm all ears! (Tell me in the comments below.)

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Shrink Wrap or Unwrap: The Best Way to Achieve Your Goals

"I can't afford it right now," Laine said in a small voice. I could feel even over the phone how her energy was shrinking, moving away from what she wanted but felt she couldn't have. 

Laine's not alone. Her dilemma is one we all face, over and over again, as we move through this journey as entrepreneurs. 

We want to expand, to grow, to reach out and hold what we so desire, but then the contradictory voices come up. 'I can't afford it', 'I can't do that', 'I don't know enough about that'. Even, 'it's not the right time' can be a message that keeps you from what you really want.

If we listen to those messages, we can hold ourselves back, not fully entering into what we want even if it feels so right. 

It's our natural and healthy wanting that is drawing us to what will serve us best. 

Now I'm not saying to recklessly plunge into every impulse you have. What I'm talking about is a draw towards something you truly want. 

So how do you make the right decision for you and your business when there's something you want, and a shrinking energy comes up? 

First, there's something you should know about doing things differently than you have before. When you're entering into a change, even if you really want it, those contradictory voices will pop up. That's called resistance. It comes from your primal impulse to protect yourself. 

That self-protective impulse against doing something new isn't a bad thing. It can keep you from being reckless. But that impulse against change will come up even if what you'd like to do is the best thing for you. You just have to know how to deal with it. Here's how: 

Rather than dealing with resistance like a whack-a-mole player, trying to get rid of every resistant thought that comes up, you can thank the primal part of your brain, the brain stem, for its message. Then, engage your thinking brain, your cerebral cortex. 

If you feel like Laine, that you can't afford it, look at return on investment. Can I recoup the money I'm about to invest? Will taking this step likely lead to more income than I would otherwise have? 

If you feel you don't know enough about it, then find out. Do some research. Talk to people who've done it. Learn from their experience. 

If you feel you can't do it, or that this isn't the right time, look at why. Is there training or information or resources you need? 

If not, then look to fear as the culprit. There really isn't much you can't do - there's almost always a way. There are mostly things you choose not to do. And a choice away from what you really want, even if it seems like just a delay, is most often fear. 

Ask yourself, what's scary about it? Is it new and unfamiliar? Does it have elements that you veer away from? 

Really take some time to sit with these feelings, move into them as much as you can. They're not trying to be mean, even if they are uncomfortable. They have something valuable to tell you. 

This unwrapping of your 'I can't do it' response provides a wealth of information. It's rich territory. 

What do you believe about money? 

What do you believe about opportunities? 

What do you believe about how deserving you are to have what you want to have? 

Big stuff, I know, that can reach back to recent experiences, or all the way back to childhood. 

The thing is, it's all affecting your business right now, in the present. What you believe about yourself and how the world works is so important in how you make decisions. When you unwrap that, a huge gift is waiting for you inside. 

You don't have to go into the why's and the story behind it. You can usually just unearth the belief, and then choose something different. 

Choosing something new can feel risky. And that's OK. We can never get past the point where there's no risk. Calculated risk, reasonable risk based on what you know and what is likely to happen as a result of your decision, is both helpful and valuable. 

You can't grow without taking risks. Your business can't grow. 

So, like Laine, when you come to a decision point, when something draws you and you feel you want to shrink away from it, look at what might be happening. 

Here's an additional way to approach it: see what's happening in your body. Your body is a wonderful indicator of what is right for you. Does moving towards it feel expansive, freeing? Does moving away from it feel sad, and you feel smaller? That's a good indicator that moving towards is the right choice for you. 

We all want to grow, to expand our experience and our contribution. To do that, you have to choose it and make decisions accordingly. Take reasonable risks. Move in the direction of what is important to you. 

When you are strongly drawn to do something, make a decision. Do you want to shrink wrap, or unwrap? Do you want to pull away from it because it scares you, or do you want to unwrap it so that you can move towards what you so desire? You get to choose! 

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