Building Confidence Levels Through Mind Control

Have you ever wondered about how you think? Learning to control your thoughts is a very effective personal development technique for building confidence levels. But the problem is that thinking is hard work, and most people seem to want to avoid it at all costs. They would rather leave things to the intuition to help them make decisions.

But in order to make changes in your life, to build confidence levels, boost your self image and self esteem, and do the things that you currently find difficult, you are going to have to make some changes in your habits.

Making Change Easy

But don't panic - these changes can be very easy. I'm going to discuss the different thinking processes, how they work, and how you can benefit from some simple mind control tips.

We use our senses to collect information, and our habits then tell us what to do with that data. What we need to learn about here is how we can make use of it, and what we did last time we experienced the same input.

The first thing we do when new data is processed through our senses is to check if we have experienced it before, and if so, how did we react to it. If we have experienced it before, chances are we will repeat the exact same reaction and create the same feelings and emotions. It's our pre-programmed habitual way of reacting to that situation or environment.

Are You Living Your Life on auto-Pilot?

These auto-pilot habits and reactions can be good or bad, depending on the situation and experience. Some of these habits are very useful - like driving a car. They allow us to drive the car without too much conscious thought and effort. Have you ever arrived at your destination then wondered how on earth you got there? It was you automatic habit that got you there.

So in the case of driving a car, these habits are good. But when it comes to weak and debilitating behaviours, these automatic habits are bad. For example, if you have a habit of being nervous or stressed when you have a lot of tasks to do at work, then this habit is weakening you and holding you back. Or if the thought of having a dinner party fills you with fear and anxiety, this is a weakening habit that is disempowering you.

Your habits are controlling the way you automatically react to all these situations - and you instinctively go along with it without asking yourself why you are reacting that way. But the good news is that weak and disempowering habits and emotions can be changed - and fairly easily too.

How To Have An Interesting Conversation - With Yourself 

You start by simply being aware of how you are reacting. Then you ask yourself some probing questions - like "why am I responding in this way?", and "how would I really like to feel when in this situation?" Asking how you would like to feel and respond is a great question to ask, as it allows you visualize the end result. See yourself feeling happy, or confident, or relaxed and in control.

Once you know the end result you want, you might want to ask "what's the best way for me to start to feel that way, or behave that way, or react that way?" It may sound strange but this all hangs on you asking yourself some simple questions, and supplying some answers.

To take control of your thinking process, you simply need to ask questions. These questions are the start of your personal development plan. To get better answers, ask better questions. When you react in a negative way, ask yourself why you are feeling that way, and how you would prefer to feel. Your feelings have a very strong bearing on what you will eventually do to overcome those inhibitions.

So there is a simple technique for building confidence levels. Decide to feel good about something, look for how you can start to feel good about it, and remind yourself to feel good each time you start to feel bad in that situation, and very soon you will form a new and empowering habit which eliminates the old one completely.

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10 Ways to Boost Self Esteem

There are many ways to boost self esteem. Self esteem is the positive or negative attitude one feels about themselves. Portraying yourself to be a certain way in your mind will eventually lead to disappointment. Here are ten ways that helps to boost your self esteem.

1. Avoid Negative People

Don't let people's negative perception of you lead you to start believing those negative thoughts of yours. When it comes to self esteem, your opinion is the only one that matters. Avoid people that treat you badly for this will start to make you feel bad towards yourself. Surrounding yourself around negative people will only make you act negatively.

2. Stop Trying to Please Everyone

You can't please everyone so don't try. Trying to please everyone will have you feeling unappreciated if you don't get that same treatment in return. Even though you should treat others how you want to be treated, you won't always get that same treatment in return. Not getting the same treatment in return is not a reflection of you, but them. Everyone's intention won't be the same as yours. Pleasing everyone is stressful. Don't rely on others to determine your self worth because of rejection. Don't expect things to always come out the way you expect it to. Be the unique person that you are. You don't need to seek validation from anyone. Never let the thoughts and feelings of not being able to help others affect you mentally, physically, and emotionally.

3. Occupy Yourself

Don't spend time thinking about something that makes you sad or insecure. Do the things you love to do to occupy your mind. If you are busy doing things you love to do, you're not going to have the time to dwell on negativity.

4. Get Support

It's OK to get the support you need when struggling with low self esteem. You don't have to do it alone. Having a good support system makes believing in yourself a lot easier. Communicating how you really feel shows that you are in tune with negative thoughts and really want the help. Being more open allows you to express all your feelings that you have been holding inside.

5. Forgive

You have to be able to forgive. Holding onto feelings of resentment will keep you in a state of negativity. Once you forgive yourself, you will be able to start to forgive others. Sometimes you have to change your perspective to see other's point of view. The past is the past and you can't change it so don't live with regrets. Having that sense of forgiveness is a relief lifted off your shoulders.

6. Be Confident

Never feel like you are ever worthless. Have confidence on both the inside and out. Encourage yourself and treat yourself with kindness. The more you practice treating yourself genuinely, self confidence will rise. No one can see your insecurities and lack of confidence unless you show and tell them. Having strong self esteem results from day to day activities and how you control the bad thoughts. As you focus more on the present instead of what should have, could have and would have, confidence will come easily. Are these thoughts factual? Do you really believe the things you think about yourself? Would you say those things about yourself to someone else? If you wouldn't, then avoid saying them to yourself. Being hard on yourself while having low self esteem will lead to depression.

7. Don't Compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others can make you feel as if you're not worth it. Just because you feel someone has more than you, or is doing better than you in any type of way brings you down. There is no such thing as a life that's better than yours. Your insecurities shouldn't be a reflection on any and everything that someone says. Don't be so hard on yourself if things don't go exactly as you want them to. Know your own personal value.

8. Surround yourself around positive

Surround yourself around people who loves, cares, and accepts you just for who you are. It helps when family and friends remind you of things that you do right. If you expect to be treated a certain way, surround yourself around those people. Treat those who treat you negatively how to treat you. People see you differently than you see yourself. Openly accept the sayings of the ones who treat you good. This helps you view yourself in a different way other than how you view yourself. Hearing what people like about you instead of what they don't like about you puts your mind at ease. Treat others with kindness and the kindness will be returned. Being appreciated makes you feel better about yourself.

9. Make a list

Make a list of things you feel proud of. Celebrate your accomplishments. No matter how big or small, it's always a job well done. When you feel your self esteem is not high, look at the list to remind yourself of your success.

10. Turn negative thoughts to positivity

Negative talk can cause you to respond negatively. Emotions run high when there is negative talk around. Instead of feeling overwhelmed from negative thoughts, accept them. Don't allow negative thoughts to influence your behavior. When you feel bad, you will only remember bad times. As you continue to think about things that upset you, it will cause you to act in such a way that's not appropriate. The way you feel has a major impact on thoughts and behavior. Your self esteem will began to improve as you learn to control negative thoughts. If you can't control your thoughts, you will never be able to control your behavior. Learn from past failures and turn it into positives.

Being aware of your thoughts and feelings uncovers the real issue. Just because you see yourself to be a certain way. Thoughts are just thoughts; not necessarily to be factual. Thoughts are normal and may seem factual, but they are just perceptions of the way things should be.

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Taking A Positive Pursuit Toward Your Desires

Your pursuit towards your desires encourages you towards your own achievement. This drives you toward greater satisfaction in your life lays a new blueprint for more positive experiences.

• Do you have a strategy for staying healthy?
• For staying passionate?
• For living some part of your dream every day?
• What does that look like for you?
• What could it look like if you let it?

We're taught not to be too self-important, not to be conceited or think too highly of yourself. Women particularly are programmed to be hard on themselves and judgmental. We're taught that how you look is more important than what you think. You're taught to put the needs of others before our own.

Whatever you believe intellectually, it can be hard to overcome these stereotypes and break out into what is yours to do and feel good about it. To feel confident and purposeful. That said, it's an 'inside job' one you must do yourself. When in pursuit towards your desires begin with valuing yourself, your contributions, your visions, your goals and your dreams.

Small gratifications in your pursuit towards your desires make up the bigger picture of satisfaction. To build your bold and courageous - and envisioned - future. Create a vision board, write it down, and/or take a picture and keep it in your wallet.

When you train a dog, you do it through a series of positive rewards. Eventually the dog learns that if it does this, it gets that. We use food and treats to create positive reinforcement.

Our mind works very much like the dog in this instance; repetition and positive reinforcement eventually create an outcome you desire. You are creating positive experiences; you're 'racking them up' so you can move further and further in the pursuit of your desires toward success.

In your pursuit towards your desires, act by doing this consistently and repeatedly. This creates new neural pathways, trains and re-trains your brain to get more of you what you desire. Through remembering positive experiences, you develop strategies for driving toward greater satisfaction, for staying healthy and contributing to your being.

However, if in the pursuit of the one thing, you desire the most, you begin to deny yourself any fun or free time, and are feeling constantly insecure, unsuccessful, unimportant, and unsafe, you're living your life in a state of lack, hoping one day that you will have an experience that you do want.

Does this mean that you should just work on your state and ignore what is driving you? Not at all!

Focus on what you want

We often need to clear away the dirt and see clearly and it's often surprising how much easier it is to do when there is guidance. Really, when you stop and think about it, most things are easier when you have help, but you seem to think that when it comes to our personal changes - you should be able to do it alone. When you are in pursuit of your desires, yes, you can do it alone, but sometimes you lose perspective on yourself, having no ability to be objective.

This is like a step by step process of cleaning the window - think of it as the window to your soul, or your inner longings, and it can be a profound journey, possibly the most important one you'll undergo. Once you start to see clearly - you will now have the 'what' identified in many areas of your life.

For some, it is like peeling back the layers of the onion, more and more revealing and less clutter as you peel back. For others, it is like cleaning the dirty window of their mental vision. Suddenly daylight streams in, illuminating all that was there, but lying dormant, unseen. For some the process is very quick, for other it's slower. Either way, it's always an exciting process that has a positive outcome.

Learn to discern what's right for you - know or get clear on what you want and then get out of the way as this makes for a life that's rewarding - a life of purpose, passion and clarity.

In your pursuit towards your desires, these are simple questions, but they can give you some real insight into where you resist and where you're open. Often the ideas you have originating in our growing up years. Even if you've changed radically, you still hold the ideas and beliefs from your family of origin somewhere in our heart or head.

It's good to occasionally shine a light onto your beliefs and see if they still serve you. It's helpful to separate out what comes from your head and what comes from your heart.

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